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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated
1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going
to review every single movie I see. I’m
going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the
rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings
for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses
under the ‘About Me’ section).
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The Conjuring 3: The Devil Made Me Do It OK
Perhaps you’ve heard of Ed and Lorraine Warren, the
real-life demonologists/paranormal investigators? Most of you likely know them as being
portrayed by Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga in this cinematic universe (namely
The Conjuring and Annabelle movies). The first film involved a haunting in New
England, the second film involved a haunting in England, and this one, directed
by Michael Chaves (The Curse of La
Llorona) instead of James Wan, involves demonic possession in New England
(you can read my review for The Conjuring
2 here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2016/06/mooby-reviews-6202016.html;
I gave The Conjuring a G rating
according to my archives). This was also
based on a real case in 1981 that was allegedly the first time demonic possession
was used as a defense. An 8-year old boy
was possessed and his older brother begs the demon in an exorcism to take him
instead (never a good idea); he eventually commits a murder leading to that
case. The Warrens do their investigating
after the murder and before the trial, which leads them to a discovery of
witchcraft and Satanists. I didn’t
dislike this film, I was intrigued enough to not dismiss it, but it did rely a
bit on cheap jump scares (a.k.a. annoying instead of frightening) and ultimately
felt too Hollywood (meaning most of it felt all too familiar). I also felt like it didn’t get nearly as dark
as it could have given its subject matter.
Sorry, can’t say the third time was entirely a charm when all was said
and done. I did like the first two films
though (as well as the Annabelle
films) and will likely be interested in future projects involving these
characters based on real people. 8/27/2021
American Horror
Stories (Season 1)
Spin-off anthology series of American Horror Story consisting of seven episodes ranging from
38-49 minutes each (technically six episodes if you count the first two as one,
five if you want to be even more technical since the last episode ties in with
the first two). I’ve watched every
season of AHS so far and plan on checking
the newly-released Double Feature out
and can say I liked every season enough besides Hotel, Cult, and Apocalypse to call myself somewhat of a
fan. I do love my anthology shows/movies
too, so naturally I wanted to check this out.
This season was just okay. I
probably liked the first two connected episodes, “Rubber(wo)Man Part One and
Part Two,” the best, which was a spin-off of Murder House (season one of AHS). Now, you don’t necessarily need to have seen Murder House or re-watch it to see these
episodes since the basic theme is repeated for you. “Drive In” was a rather stale apocalyptic
tale set up like a zombie film (they aren’t zombies though, at least not in the
traditional sense), the reasons for which occurring after a film is shown. Surprising this episode was rather ordinary
considering Eduardo Sanchez, most famous for The Blair Witch Project, directed it. “The Naughty List” may never achieve the same
status as Tales from the Crypt’s “And
All Through the House,” but it’s a decent Christmas horror episode once the
ball finally gets rolling, featuring a killer Santa played by a recognizable
actor. “Ba’al” was just an okay, not
exactly fresh, segment involving the titular demon, while “Feral” reminded me
too much of Wayward Pines and a bit
of a Wrong Turn film, only not as
good as either; the ending was somewhat of a kicker though. Lastly, “Game Over” pretty much just
references the first two episodes, Murder
House, as well as the rest of the AHS
series, but the video game created was pretty cool. I didn’t truly dislike any of these episodes
(“Drive In” being the worst), but none I can exactly call great. Season two has been confirmed and you should
know that means I’ll likely, probably definitely, continue…8/27/2021
Bonus reviews:
Ragin’ Cajun Redneck
Gators EH/OK
Syfy Channel movie?
That title? I had to! I have heard of this film before, but just
got around to finally watching it. It’s
also known as Alligator Alley, but
that’s obviously not as attention-grabbing.
It takes place in Louisiana (where else with that title?) and gators
mutate after tainted moonshine is dumped into the swamps. [POTENTIAL SPOILERS] Not only do these mutated gators obtain the
ability to shoot spikes from their tails, but also to turn people into gators
after biting them or through another means.
Never seen that concept done before!
What the hell was the chemical put in that moonshine? Is this movie bad? Obviously, what did you expect? My expectations were low beforehand. Is it fun?
Eh, kind of, but not really. I
give it points for a novel concept (hence the partial OK rating), but not as
many points for being an unworthy natural horror film (yes, even though my
expectations were lower than low, I still hope to enjoy a movie more than not,
or at least equally love/hate it). There
is a brief nod to Jaws, but there’s
also a reference to Twilight, which,
believe it or not, this movie has more in common with! CGI is used, obvious CGI at that (meaning
unworthy, hence the film being unworthy); maybe if CGI looked more realistic I
wouldn’t have a problem with it. I had
to check it out, like I said, as I do most of these films (especially on the
Syfy Channel), even if I know beforehand there’s a high possibility they won’t
be worth it. I can’t help it. Whether you want to see for yourself if this
is worth watching…hey, that’s entirely up to you…8/23/2021
Dreamcatcher EH
(haiku review)
Not the King-based work.
Bland slasher this is; long too.
The kills mostly suck.
8/25/2021Other
movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):
The Beast Within >>>EH
Cats (2019) >>>B
False Positive >>>OK
(Hulu)
Girl (2020) >>>OK
The Orange Years: The Nickelodeon Story >>>OK/G
The Resort >>>OK
The Vigil >>>OK
---Sean O.
8/29/2021
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