I Like Moobies: October 2021

Friday, October 29, 2021

Old/AHS: Double Feature

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see. I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Old OK/G

Mr. M. Night Shyamalan’s latest feature. I can definitely say I’m a fan of the man. I liked all of his films enough save for Lady in the Water, The Last Airbender, and After Earth, some more than others naturally, and I don’t include the two films he made before The Sixth Sense (that’s when his auteur status truly started). In case you haven’t seen any previews or read about this newest film, a group of people go to a beach (I don’t remember getting a location, but it was filmed in the Dominican Republic) that may look like paradise, but is anything but. There is a bit more to it than the simplistic premise, and I would hope so given it’s over 100-minutes. I had a strange fascination with it, as I do most of his films, there being a disturbing air to it all. The ending may divide viewers and could arguably make what came before appear less bleak (and it somewhat does), but, on the other hand, everything is tied up neatly in the way M. Night does well. I have a feeling this might get better with age (pun intended), and I am interested in checking out the graphic novel it’s based on (Sandcastle), but as for being his best? Absolutely not, but it’s definitely better than those three films I mentioned above! 10/23/2021

American Horror Story: Double Feature

Season 10 of this series presents two different storylines as the title suggests. The first six of the ten episodes, entitled Red Tide, takes place in Massachusetts near the beach in what appears to be the off-season. There is a black pill, currently the drug of choice on the streets, that will either bring out your talents and make you successful or turn you into a vampire-like creature if you have no talents (what a kick in the face for those without talent!). This part of the season wasn’t bad, far from great, and the dreary New England setting certainly worked in its favor. I liked it better than the second part of the season, Death Valley, an alien tale set in the Southwest that takes place in the past (roughly between the Fifties and Seventies) and the present. It has its moments and ends rather bleakly, but I didn’t particularly care for either timeline (the past involving presidents and the present involving a facility that conducts a specific experiment). It definitely probably looked better on paper, and I guess I should be grateful it was only 4 of the 10 episodes. Overall, this wasn’t the best season, but I wouldn’t tell you not to watch it, especially if you’ve watched up to this season. There is gore in both parts and you’ll recognize several faces (both in the series and not) in both, and it was neat they presented it as a double feature like Grindhouse theatres of yore, but I don’t think I can add it to the list of my favorite seasons so far (those being Murder House, Asylum, Coven, Freak Show, and Roanoke). 10/23/2021

Bonus reviews:

Aileen Wuornos: American Boogeywoman EH

(haiku review)

It’s not quite Monster.

More of a prequel to it.

Insufficient film. 10/25/2021

You (Season Three) OK

(haiku review)

First two were better.

Not as addicting this time.

Maybe next season? 10/25/2021

*10 episodes; available on Netflix. You can read my review for season 2 here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2020/01/7-reviews-17-ratings.html*

Secrets of Sulphur Springs (Season One) OK/G

(haiku review)

Decent mystery.

Involves time travel down South.

Fine for all ages. 10/25/2021

*11 episodes; available on Disney+*

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Don’t Breathe 2 >>>EH/OK

Hypnotic (2021) >>>EH

(Netflix)

Night Teeth >>>EH

(Netflix)

Stillwater >>>OK

(In French, with subtitles, and English)

---Sean O.

10/29/2021

Sunday, October 24, 2021

Halloween Kills/Slumber Party Massacre

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Halloween Kills OK

For those unaware, the preceding 2018 film was intended to be a direct sequel to John Carpenter’s 1978 original, meaning none of the sequels to that film exist in this universe. As for the two Rob Zombie-helmed films? They exist entirely in their own cinematic universe. Therefore, this film would technically be the third entry if you ignore all the original sequels (ironically, the masks from the original third film in the franchise sans Michael Myers, Season of the Witch, make an appearance here). I wasn’t really a fan of the last Halloween film (you can read my review for it here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/10/mooby-reviews-102818.html), but I was willing to give this sequel a chance, as I do all films, especially since Michael Myers is one of my favorite fictional villains, and curiosity always gets the better of me. Part of me did admire this film, but the other part of me, my ultimate assessment, is that it is an average slasher at best. I didn’t hate it, and I liked it a bit better than its predecessor, but, as another critic generally put it, “it doesn’t make it a worthy heir to the Michael Myers legacy despite how many kills are in it.” And seriously, in 2021 people are still asking if someone is there in horror movies? And the driver (the means of escape) in a car full of people is going to exit said car, leaving everyone else unattended while investigating something? These kinds of instances make you, the viewer, yell mentally or verbally at how idiotic their decisions are. And I don’t think I’d be spoiling anything by saying Michael Myers isn’t defeated this go-around, not only because anyone even remotely familiar with the cinematic boogeyman knows he’s basically invincible, but because another sequel (Halloween Ends) is already confirmed to be released next year. I’m obviously going to watch Halloween Ends and maybe that will be the best one of these entries helmed by David Gordon Green. Whatever. I’ll believe it when I see it…10/19/2021

Slumber Party Massacre OK/G

Yet another film bitten by the remake bug! I can call myself a fan of the 1982 original; Slumber Party Massacre II is fun as well (there’s a decent nod to it here); Slumber Party Massacre III I don’t like as much as the other two, but I have seen it more than once, usually when I have a Slumber Party Massacre marathon. This SYFY Original could’ve been called something else, because, I mean, there isn’t much to making an effective slasher, or a slasher film at all---characters, setting, and kills are what ultimately sets them apart. I’m actually surprised the original Slumber Party Massacre isn’t discussed more amongst feminists and progressives considering it was written and directed by women (as was this one) and features women doing traditionally male duties (as this one did too, but it’s not so much effective nowadays since most reasonable people understand that women can do anything men can do, while bleeding; just don’t be one of those women that talk the talk but don’t walk the walk though). This one, like the original, does feature a killer named Russ Thorn wielding a drill to off his victims. Whereas the original took place in a suburban house though, this one takes place at a lake house in both the past and present (mostly the present), both sexes being victims again. The Russ Thorn character was more creepy in the original; here, he was just weird, and he talked sometimes too (I don’t remember him ever speaking in the original, but a re-watch could prove me wrong). Now, was this yet another unnecessary remake? Actually, no, I didn’t think it was too bad. A good portion of the kills were notable, they play around with the genre at times without making it feel too much like a parody (more in the clever twist kind of way), and there’s a bit more to it than Russ Thorn simply slaughtering people. In other words, it was more of a reimagining than a direct remake. As with any remake/reimagining, it doesn’t replace the original, which was no masterpiece to begin with (but is fun and one of the better Eighties slashers), as this certainly isn’t one either, but it is a worthy addition to the franchise that will likely be watched when I have my Slumber Party Massacre marathons. This will probably win the ‘Worthiest Remake’ on my ‘Best and Worst Films of 2021’ list, but there are still two months left if any other remakes want to alter that…10/20/2021

Bonus review:

Just Beyond (Season One) EH

I had to watch this series based on graphic novels by R.L. Stine since he is one of my all-time favorite authors. I only read the first two books in the series (I think; I know I read at least the first one), but I don’t think any of these eight episodes (roughly around the half-hour mark, give or take) are based on them; I think this series only took the title. I should’ve known it wasn’t going to be straight-up horror (even for the kiddies) given it was shown on Disney+ and that it was labeled a drama on the channel. This is more of a light thriller/fantasy series for the tween age group only (maybe The Twilight Zone for the young’uns as opposed to another Goosebumps series), said tweens having never seen much before. “Leave Them Kids Alone” has the typical scenario wherein a “rebellious” girl is sent to a school in order to get set straight and said school has a rather sinister agenda (blah, blah, blah); I did like the ending even if it was a bit too “feel-good.” “Parents Are From Mars, Kids Are From Venus” is a harmless alien vignette containing corny special effects and the same corny appeal of an early Nineties TV special, and the following episode, “Which Witch,” is like a really corny TV movie involving teen (you guessed it) witches in high school. “My Monster” would be the only one of these episodes you could truly label horror and is ironically the best one; it contains a monster (nothing you haven’t seen before) that would likely frighten the younger viewers (hell, maybe even the older viewers). “Unfiltered” revolves around the typical “be careful what you wish for” theme in which an unpopular girl’s wish to be “pretty” and popular is granted before realizing it comes with a price (blah, blah, blah); cheesy conclusion. “We’ve Got Spirits, Yes We Do” does contain ghosts, in a theater, but wouldn’t frighten the most timid viewers as it is more of what the show is labeled as on Disney+…a drama. “Standing Up for Yourself” is a typical tale involving a bully eventually getting his comeuppance, and “The Treehouse” is a fairly standard story (meaning no surprises or anything remotely fresh) wherein a boy is somehow able to land in a parallel dimension after being in the titular structure during a storm. Like I said, this will likely only appeal to tweens that haven’t seen much. I like to think I’m young at heart, but I can’t say I was too much a fan of this unoriginal series (the intro before each episode was better than the series as a whole), which is extremely disappointing given that R.L. Stine and Seth Grahame-Smith (writer of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter) were attached somehow. I will always read and watch pretty much anything with Stine’s name on it (as long as it’s horror-oriented), so better luck next time if more seasons are coming…10/18/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Bacurau >>>G

(Mostly in Portuguese with subtitles)

Fever Dream >>>B/EH

(Netflix; In Spanish with subtitles)

Pig (2021) >>>EH

---Sean O.

10/24/2021

Saturday, October 16, 2021

Night of the Animated Dead

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Night of the Animated Dead OK/G

Night of the Living Dead, the original 1968 version helmed by the late George A. Romero, is not only one of my favorite zombie movies, but one of my favorite movies in general. The 1990 remake helmed by the legendary Tom Savini was decent too. Was this animated update necessary? Probably not, but the majority, if not all, of remakes aren’t really necessary (I’ve probably said that countless times too). If you’re very much familiar with the original film (like yours truly), you’ll know what to expect…in animated form (I mean, a very few things are done a bit differently). If there’s a chance you actually haven’t seen the original, or even the remake, and you call yourself a horror fan, or general cinema buff, then what the hell have you been waiting for? If you do happen to be one of those people that hasn’t seen it though (and I totally suggest you do), you might think this is an enjoyable zombie film. The animation may not be of the highest quality, but there is gore (likely what earned its R-rating) and the scenes us fans know so well were recreated satisfactorily. No, this absolutely does not replace the original, but I think it’s a decent rendition for NOTLD fans that’s barely over an hour. From what I remember, it’s a whole lot better than that 2009 film, Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated (my archives indicate I gave it zero out of four stars, when I did star ratings, and a movie had to be completely horrendous for me to give it that low of a rating!). 10/11/2021

Bonus review:

Scaredy Cats

I took a chance with this new family series on Netflix only because it was on a ‘Netflix and Chills’ list that provides titles and dates of new releases during the Halloween season. Plus, I like to think I’m a bit open-minded. This series is corny as hell, yes, and I should’ve figured when seeing a logo for Air Bud Entertainment before each episode (you know, that franchise featuring dogs that play sports?); I can’t honestly say I’ve ever seen a single one of those Air Bud movies and don’t have a desire to, ever (guess I’m not as open-minded as I thought). It consists of 9 episodes, the first one being over 40-minutes and the rest being under 30. Yes, I did actually watch the entire series; I didn’t binge it though, just watched one or two episodes at a time, usually just one. It involves three pre-teen girls that eventually learn they’re witches; they can turn into cats that do talk and there are other animals that talk too; there are also two “bad” witches that want an amulet one of the girls owns. If you thought Hocus Pocus was corny…ha, let’s just say the creators of this probably said, “Hold my beer” (the way in which the bad witches are “defeated” at the end of the last episode is one of the corniest scenes I’ve seen in a very long while!). Yes, that witch movie from 1993 is highly overrated and I’m amazed at how much cult status it received over the years (it’s strictly nostalgic for me since I saw it in the theater as a pre-teen, but it’s still corny). I re-watched that Olsen twin witch movie, Double, Double, Toil and Trouble (also from 1993), to compare corniness and this certainly scores higher on the corny scale (Double was the more boring entry though). How did I manage to watch this entire series if I keep saying how corny it was? I’m not sure, I guess I love anything to do with Halloween and maybe it was a bit tolerable since I watched it in segments and the episodes weren’t too long (hell, as corny as Hocus Pocus may be, I do still watch it every once in a while, usually years in between, mostly for nostalgic reasons, as mentioned). Now, as someone pushing 40, for those that have spawn within this show’s target audience, it’s a little tolerable if you’re forced to watch it with them (of course there’s no need to accompany them since it’s harmless and rated TV-G), but I really don’t think anyone past age-12 will find it appealing. 10/7/2021

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Censor >>>EH/OK

The Green Knight >>>B

Muppets Haunted Mansion >>>EH/OK

(Disney+)

---Sean O.

10/16/2021

Thursday, October 7, 2021

The Forever Purge/Under Wraps

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The Forever Purge EH/OK

This is movie #5? Plus there were two seasons of a TV series (I only saw the first season and don’t know if and when I’ll check out the second). I actually gave the four preceding films a G rating according to my archives; the first two films I just rated; you can read my review for Election Year here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2016/11/mooby-reviews-11416.html and The First Purge here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/10/mooby-reviews-101718.html. Much like the Final Destination and Paranormal Activity films, these films have a simple premise and you pretty much know what you’re going to get when watching; take them for what they are basically and you either like them or you don’t (like anything really). Let’s see, every year in America there is a day where all crime, including murder, is legal for 12 hours. In this sequel though, many decide to continue purging past the 12-hour mark, hence the Forever Purge. That being said, this didn’t feel like a typical Purge film since the others showed a microcosmic depiction whereas this is more macrocosmic, making it seem more akin to a Mad Max film or other post-apocalyptic features, meaning there are many repetitive action sequences. I couldn’t wait for it to be over a little more than halfway; I thought I was going to like it in the beginning too! I think this franchise ran out of steam, but I’d say having at least four out of five passable entries makes it a fairly worthy one, no? 10/1/2021

Under Wraps OK

Recently released Disney Channel movie remake of another Disney Channel movie released in 1997. Now, I don’t remember ever watching the original and was reminded of it not that long ago when discussing remakes with someone. In 1997 I was a teenager and might’ve thought I was “too cool” to watch it, even though I was never “cool” (subjective term, yes, but whatever), or maybe would’ve thought it was too corny, and plus, my family didn’t have the Disney Channel back then. I did watch the original for the first time the day before I watched this, and it was only available on YouTube which isn’t always the best platform to watch stuff. It involves a trio of kids that accidentally wake a mummy in one of their neighbor’s houses, said neighbor having nefarious plans for said mummy. In the meantime, the mummy escapes and the kids try concealing it the best they can after realizing it means them no harm (being Halloween season makes it a bit easier to blend in). This remake is pretty much the same movie, but some things are done a bit differently. The original contains no nostalgic factor for me since I just saw it, so I really wouldn’t know which one to tell you to watch, if either. Normally I would say to watch the original, if anything, before the remake, but I’d probably just tell you to pick one and watch it this time, unless you need to see the original first (like me) and/or you have a mummy fascination. Both weren’t bad as far as Disney Channel movies suitable for the entire family go, and both are harmless and not as corny as they could’ve been, making either one ‘okay’ viewing during this holiday season. Like I said, I don’t think it will matter which one you decide to watch, if either. 10/2/2021

Bonus reviews:

The Chestnut Man EH/OK

(haiku review)

New. Netflix. Six eps.

Murder mystery. Denmark.

Standard; drags often. 10/4/2021

*In Danish with subtitles*

There’s Someone Inside Your House OK

(haiku review)

Typical slasher.

Secrets are what makes you die.

The kills are worthy. 10/6/2021

*Available on Netflix*

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Alley Cats Strike! >>>OK/G

Clown (2019) >>>EH

Future-Kill >>>B/EH

Lansky >>>EH

---Sean O.

10/7/2021