Carved/Hysteria!

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Carved                                                                                    OK/G

A killer pumpkin?  I had to!  It isn’t a killer with a pumpkin head like Jack-O; no, this is an actual killer pumpkin.  The only other time I recall seeing that was in a segment of Tales of Halloween.  This isn’t an expansion of that segment, but it is one of a 5-minute short film of the same name released in 2018, both directed by Justin Harding (you can view the short if you Google it; this one is available on Hulu).  In it, a pumpkin is taken from a field and about to be used in a pumpkin carving contest in a small town festivity.  It isn’t long before the sentient gourd starts attacking and killing those in attendance with a bunch of tendrils it creates, in addition to other weapons.  There is violence, yes.  A group of people then hide in a nearby barn and try figuring out a way to escape this killer fruit.  (It takes place in the early 90s, so no cellulars, and the only means of escape involves keys not handy).  Was this great?  Nope.  It was fun enough in that ‘90’s VHS’ kind of way though.  (There was definitely a nod to Jack Frost 2 at the end).  The effects and creature design may not have been stellar, but they were passable, looking mostly practical (not when it appears more like a giant spider while walking with its tendrils in the distance); the pumpkin undoubtedly looked better than the one used in the short film.  Happy Halloween!  10/22/2024

Hysteria! (Season One)

1989.  Satanic Panic.  A metal band.  Bruce Campbell.  I was definitely in for this Peacock series.  (All eight episodes, roughly between 50-60-minutes each, are available).  A trio of teenagers (2 guys, 1 girl) in a small town (somewhere in Michigan, filmed in Georgia) are in a metal band and use the whole Satanic Panic theme to get more attention, which inevitably leads to one misunderstanding after another (amongst peers, townsfolk, authorities, etc.) following the murder of one of their classmates.  Bruce plays a cop that tries to get to the bottom of it all.  A reveal halfway made this less dark than I thought it would be; a rather pedestrian one too, and nothing much is done with it afterwards either.  There were sometimes hints of leading to dark places, but it always seemed to wimp out.  Plus, there were suggestions of a supernatural presence (right up to the very end), but I’m not sure whether any of it was real or not.  Cons aside, I did enjoy following the three band members and was curious to see where all of this was going (more so before that reveal, yes, but still a bit after).  There is no confirmed second season yet, but maybe I would welcome one.  Perhaps it might make this season (when all was said and done) feel less of a letdown…10/27/2024

Bonus reviews:

Catnado

They did it with sharks (six times!) and clowns, so why not cats?  And what’s next, right?  This actually came out two years ago, but wasn’t released until now (at least on streaming and DVD).  It wasn’t entirely what I expected, because I assumed it would be a single narrative, but it’s actually an anthology film consisting of six tales, one a take on an original Twilight Zone episode.  The titular disaster does appear in each segment though.  Now, does anyone (at least most people) actually expect a movie called Catnado to be any good?  Especially for one that didn’t get nearly as much publicity (apparently none until now) as the shark ones?  It is awful.  Aw-ful.  The acting is bad, the effects are really bad…what did you expect, right?  Curiosity will surely get people to check it out, but we all know what curiosity killed, right?  (Wink, wink).  I will admit though that it is often pretty funny at how ridiculously awful it is…10/27/2024

WNUF Halloween Special                                          B/EH

I finally got around to watching this film from 2013 presented as a live news broadcast set in the Eighties.  One segment of this broadcast involves a crew entering a haunted house that hasn’t been occupied in 20 years after a boy killed both his parents there.  Now, of this roughly 83-minute film, only about 20-minutes of it focuses on this particular segment.  If they were going for an authentic news program with tons and tons of commercials, they definitely succeeded.  My goodness was there a shitload of ads!  I hate commercials when watching a real movie or TV show, let alone an entire film containing them; fake ones too!  The majority of the ads weren’t compelling either; I think I might’ve enjoyed them more had they been from the actual 80’s (I might’ve even remembered some of them).  The segment in question was totally lacking too, containing a reveal that made me think “Really? That’s the best they could come up with?!”  This “movie” was a waste of time.  10/24/2024

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

American Horror Stories (Season Three, Part 2)  >>>EH/OK

                                    (Hulu; 5 episodes)

Azrael  >>>OK

The Beast Within (2024)  >>>EH

Deer Camp ’86  >>>OK

Don’t Move (2024)  >>>OK

               (Netflix)

Family Pack (2024)  >>>OK

   (Netflix; In French with subtitles)

MadS  >>>OK

   (In French with subtitles)

The Phantom Carriage  >>>OK/G

            (Swedish silent film)

A Quiet Place: Day One  >>>OK

Woman of the Hour  >>>OK

               (Netflix)

---Sean O.

10/28/2024

Terrifier 3

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Terrifier 3                                                                    G

I can’t believe how popular Art the Clown became.  (I think he’s more of a mime, but I’m okay with him being a clown).  This was the number one movie in the country last weekend!  A fourth film was already mentioned before this was even released!  [I wonder if a 4^th one was intended from the get-go though, because this one didn’t conclude].  Plus, there may be a fifth one too!  (Apparently Art, much like other cinematic baddies, can’t be killed).  Am I a fan?  I guess you can say I like him enough (I do own a miniature Art smashie I basically got for free after coupons).  There was a whole bunch of “negative” publicity before this was even officially released, i.e. 9 people walked out of a U.K. premiere before the opening sequence, France banned minors from seeing it, and two people passed out during a screening in Australia.  Yada, yada, yada.  Oh, and there was a Christian group that protested it outside of a theater in Kansas City.  Cue the eye-rolls.  Negative publicity is still publicity that’s only going to make people more curious, even though fans of the franchise are going to watch it anyway.  Plus, controversy always gives movies an edge, eventually garnering cult status as a result.  In regards to those that walked out, passed out, or were maybe even just grossed out, what the hell did you expect from a Terrifier movie?!  Did you even see the first two?!  [My reviews of those are in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/06/mooby-reviews-61318.html, and here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2022/11/terrifier-2.html].  Yes, this is gory, very gory, but it’s a friggin’ Terrifier movie that delivers exactly what you’d expect!!!  Art is crazy and the whole fun of these films is seeing what he’s going to do.  Plus, it’s so over-the-top, as has also become expected for the franchise, that it’s more fascinating than nauseating, at least for us horror fans; there was even a gory scene here that audience members laughed at because of how far over-the-top it went!  Put it this way, if you were able to stomach the first two, you’ll do fine with this one.  Anyway, five years after Terrifier 2’s events (yes, you do actually need to watch these in order), Sienna, the female protagonist from that film, goes to stay with her aunt, uncle, and young cousin after being in and out of an institution, while Art slices, chops, eviscerates, what have you, any poor souls he comes across before their eventual and inevitable confrontation.  No one is spared either, not men, women, or children.  Some scenes reminded me of ones from Jason X, Pieces, and Sinister 2, the scenes here definitely giving those a run for their money.  I enjoyed this enough (didn’t even seem like it was roughly 2-hours) to definitely deem it a worthy addition to the franchise, as well as Christmas horror flicks (yes, it is a Christmas movie, if you somehow didn’t know, even though it came out during Halloween).  A jolly, bloody good time!  10/15/2024

Bonus review:

It’s Me, Billy

It’s Me, Billy Chapter II                                              EH

Silly me thought It’s Me, Billy Chapter II was a direct fan film sequel to the original Black Christmas.  Luckily I read the entire intro before the film (available on YouTube) or else I wouldn’t have known that it was actually a sequel to another fan film (It’s Me, Billy) released in 2021 (also available on YouTube).  Therefore, I watched both, not back-to-back, but you very much can, given they’re both a little over 40-minutes each (hence, an 80-plus minute feature).  Those that are fans of Bob Clark’s Black Christmas (as I very much am) will recognize the title as the words uttered by the killer in that seminal Canadian feature.  Black Christmas is definitely one of my favorite slasher movies, maybe even movies period, one that didn’t originally get as much recognition as it deserved (I didn’t even see it until right after high school), and it’s one that never had countless sequels like many of its ilk; two remakes, yes, but no official sequels (you can read my review of the original film and the first remake in here---https://vampireclown82-2.blogspot.com/2016/11/imdreaming-of-blackchristmas.html, and my review of the second remake/reimagining here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2019/12/black-christmas.html).  I may not necessarily think fan films are great, but I do look forward to watching them; expectations usually aren’t that high and many aren’t even feature-length (my review of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre fan film, The Sawyer Massacre, is in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2022/11/terrifier-2.html, and there’s a link in there for my reviews of some Friday the 13^th fan films).  The first in this duo of fan films, both written and directed by Bruce Dale and Dave McRae, follows the granddaughter of Jess (played by Olivia Hussey in the original film) traveling with two of her friends to the sorority house (not the same one, obviously) the murders occurred at all those years ago.  Based on the title, I don’t think I need to tell you that Billy is still alive in the house and not everyone makes it out alive.  Was I a fan of this fan film, films collectively (the second part picks up right after the first)?  No, I wasn’t (my rating, which goes for both, should’ve told you that).  The original Black Christmas worked well enough just knowing “Billy” was a psycho that happened to end up in a sorority house killing the inhabitants; seeing or knowing any more about him just ruins the mystery.  Yeah, I may have grown to appreciate the first remake over time (as you’ll see in the review above from one of my other blogs), but it still didn’t need to exist.  I understand these films were “unofficial” sequels and simply meant to be mild forms of flattery (as all fan films are), but I still don’t think they were worth watching, or necessary, above all.  There will always only be one Black Christmas!  R.I.P. Bob Clark.  [On a side note---one actress from the original film makes an appearance in Chapter II playing the sister of her character].  10/13/2024

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

#AMFAD: All My Friends Are Dead  >>>EH/OK

Daddy’s Head  >>>EH

Eight Eyes  >>>OK

   (Sometimes in subtitles)

Family Guy Halloween Special  >>>EH

                        (Hulu)

Haunt Season  >>>OK/G

Mr. Crocket  >>>EH/OK

   (Hulu)

The Platform 2  >>>EH/OK

   (Netflix; In Spanish with subtitles)

Snack Shack  >>>OK

---Sean O.

10/16/2024

V/H/S/Beyond

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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V/H/S/Beyond                                                              G

This is the seventh film of the anthology franchise!  Ninth if you include the two spin-offs!  [The only other ones I reviewed were V/H/S/99, as a haiku review, in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2022/11/speak-no-evil.html, and V/H/S/85 in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2023/11/vhs85.html; in the latter review, you’ll see my ratings only for the other four, plus links to reviews of the spin-offs, Siren and Kids vs. Aliens].  I’ll admit I wasn’t too enthused upon hearing this one was going to be more sci-fi; don’t get me wrong, I like my fair share of sci-fi flicks---The Faculty, Annihilation (review of that in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/03/mooby-reviews-3818.html), Alien isn’t bad (just the first one from memory), and I guess pretty much any movie with aliens would count (in that case, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Night of the Creeps, Critters, Attack the Block, E.T., Mac and Me, lol, just to name some)---and it could very well be a cousin genre to horror, but I guess I’m just not a fan of hokey special effects, especially digital ones, often associated with them (even practical ones have been corny too, John Carpenter’s The Thing being an example, the effects the main reason I’m not a fan of it).  Sci-fi as a theme though, I’m all for (to me, The Twilight Zone is a better series than The Outer Limits).  This film certainly had otherworldly elements, but obviously caters to the horror crowd, given the franchise’s roots.  The wraparound segment is presented as a docuseries about alien encounters, the other segments “recordings” of such encounters.  It starts off with a bang in an entry that plays like a shoot ‘em up zombie videogame in a derelict house; the undead, or whatever they are, have a distinct look (they aren’t the only creatures here either); bloody good fun segment that does not disappoint.  The second one was probably my least fave.  It takes place in India (yes, that means subtitles) and involves a female pop singer with a deadly secret; it’s rather formulaic, but very gory (seems like a tactic often used these days to compensate for what lacks in the script).  The third one was another good one involving a birthday skydiving excursion gone wrong, very wrong.  Those that make it on the ground aren’t safe from harm either.  The extraterrestrials here undoubtedly give the ones in the V/H/S/2 segment, as well as its spin-off (Kids vs. Aliens), a hefty run for their money, and probably most evil aliens in entertainment.  I wish this segment was longer (hey, Kids vs. Aliens happened).  The next one involved a dog lady with a rather sinister agenda.  This one was probably the least sci-fi, although likely qualifies conceptually, a concept not exactly unique, but, again, the violence that occurs makes the segment a little more unique.  Lastly, a girl filming in the Mojave Desert enters a spaceship that, at first, appears to have beneficial advantages, but notice how I put ‘at first’ in big bold letters!  This one should’ve been a bit longer; not that I wanted it to be, but it should’ve because it felt a bit lacking (I didn’t dislike it though, nor did I any of them).  Like many an anthology, it may not have been perfect collectively (as least two of the segments were great though), but I enjoyed it enough, more than I thought given I wasn’t looking forward to it too much, to recommend it.  10/4/2024

Bonus reviews:

Hold Your Breath                                                        OK/G

Southern gothic film on Hulu taking place in Oklahoma during the 1930s (shot in New Mexico though).  A woman (Sarah Paulson) lives with her two daughters on a farm while her husband is away working.  Dust storms occur frequently which can make one sick, maybe even die if caught in one (hence they try sealing every crevice in the house during them).  An entity may be in these storms too, based on a ghost story the young girls read.  There was a very eerie quality to this film, a pervading sense of unease, which I did admire.  It does end up feeling clichéd though, style ultimately trumping substance, but such style it does have…10/3/2024

It’s What’s Inside                                                         EH/OK

Ever wanted to be someone else?  A group of friends get to do just that in this Netflix thriller when they get together the night before a wedding.  One of their friends whom they haven’t seen for a while (you’ll see why) brings a machine that somehow allows them all to switch bodies with someone else in attendance.  There was something I admired about this film, there really was, in that it defied expectations, in addition to being well-shot with some nice use of color here and there.  I liked how it didn’t go the body count route it was set up to be, and what I thought it would be (there are deaths though, but not in the way you think).  However…this made me think too much, and not in the way meaningful discussions will be generated afterwards, but in the way you need to stop watching several times to take notes and keep track of everything.  There’s eight people you need to follow and I couldn’t take keeping up with who was who and when, even though they did have pictures of the real people attached to the bodies they were in, occasionally showing the real people in a parallel shot (that aforementioned nice use of color).  I couldn’t imagine reading this in a book (it’s not, it was written and directed by Greg Jardin, this being his feature-length debut), because if it was confusing watching this all visually…cue head shake!  Mr. Jardin, clearly you have ambition, but you tried a little too hard here, buddy.  10/4/2024

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Blackwater Lane  >>>EH

Didi (2024)  >>>OK/G

   (Sometimes in Mandarin with subtitles)

King on Screen  >>>OK

Sasquatch Sunset  >>>OK

---Sean O.

10/9/2024

Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey II

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Winnie-the-Pooh:  Blood and Honey II                       OK

Sequel to the much-maligned predecessor (released last year) nominated for five Razzie Awards and winning all five, including worst picture!  I don’t understand why it was hated as much as it was; I probably wrote one of the nicest reviews for it (which you can read in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2023/10/zombie-townpet-sematary-bloodlines.html).  Everyone is their own critic though, right?  [I don’t understand all the hate (and Razzies) Showgirls got either, while shite like Oppenheimer won so many praiseworthy awards; I probably gave that one of the most scathing reviews in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2024/02/bad-cgi-gator.html].  Now, even though I was very curious (and, undeniably, somewhat anxious) about this sequel, my expectations weren’t that high, but they were a bit higher than low because critics said this was an improvement over the first one (which, again, I didn’t think was that horrible).  [This one, as of this writing, received a 46% rating on Rotten Tomatoes out of 41 critics, whereas part one only got 3% out of 62 critics].  Well, I didn’t think it was better than the first one.  I didn’t dislike it; there is violence, to be sure, some of it worthy.  It was an okay follow-up.  The director is still the same, but it did feel like a different movie (still being a slasher movie though).  Owl and Tigger join in on the mayhem this time; both of them talk too (Piglet spoke at one time as well); Owl kind of reminded me of the Creeper from Jeepers Creepers.  Pooh and Piglet both have different looks (Pooh looking meaner, Piglet looking worse than before), and Christopher Robin is played by a different actor.  Plus, we get a backstory on the creatures, one blatantly cribbed from another movie I won’t reveal in case of a spoiler.  I can’t say this was an unnecessary sequel, given the franchise, but I was a teensy little bit disappointed since I expected it to be better.  That’s just my opinion though, right?  And that’s what I get for listening to other critics, right?  *wink*  A third film was already mentioned shortly after this one’s release.  Obviously I’m going to watch it.  OCD aside, I am still curious…10/2/2024

Bonus reviews:

What You Wish For                                                     G

Culinary thriller that was better than I thought it would be; I enjoyed it more than The Menu.  In it, Nick Stahl plays a chef that leaves the States (for a reason) to meet up with a buddy in some Spanish-speaking country.  He eventually has to prepare a meal for a group of rich people, and let’s just say some of the ingredients demanded are a little specific.  10/1/2024

Horror’s Greatest                                                      

New docuseries on Shudder containing five episodes (roughly ranging from 50-60 minutes each; all now available) covering different horror film categories/topics, they being Tropes and Clichés, Giant Monsters, Japanese Horror, Horror Comedies, and Stephen King Adaptations, in that order.  I always enjoy talking about horror and hearing others give their two cents (several people do here), so I didn’t dislike this series, even when films I either haven’t seen or disliked were discussed (like many in the Giant Monsters episode).  I can’t believe they didn’t include Idle Hands in the Horror Comedies segment, which is not only underrated, but one of the best horror comedies!   They didn’t discuss any of the Chucky movies in that episode either (I only recall a brief clip of Bride of Chucky)!  They should’ve discussed the original Pet Sematary in the Stephen King Adaptations one too, not just include it on an extra list they showed in every episode (it should’ve also been on the ‘Must See’ titles at the end instead of Doctor Sleep and the IT remake)!  And there was no talk of the original IT, which is much better than both parts of the remake (which was discussed)!  Personal opinions aside, I still enjoyed this series enough to recommend for horror fans.  I’d welcome more episodes, even if they were continuations of some of these (Stephen King Adaptations, as an example, could definitely be covered in more than one hour episode).  [F.Y.I., it is assumed you’ve seen all the titles discussed, so there are spoilers].  9/24/2024

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Amp House Massacre  >>>EH

The Collingswood Story  >>>OK

The Ghost and Mr. Chicken  >>>OK/G

Oddity  >>>OK/G

Rez Ball  >>>EH

       (Netflix)

Sleep (2024)  >>>OK/G

   (In Korean with subtitles)

---Sean O.

10/3/2024