Critters Attack!

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Critters Attack!                                                            OK

This is technically Critters 5; not too long ago there was also a Shudder TV series called A New Binge (my review for it was posted on 4/24/2019).  This currently isn’t available on Netflix (streaming or mail), but it is available at Redbox (which is where I got it) and On Demand.  Well, at least those red-eyed, toothy furballs are still practical after all these years.  Did we really need another movie though?  I hate to say not really, but I’m not going to tell fans (or anyone that’s made it this far) to dismiss this because y’all, like always, are going to watch it regardless of what I or anyone else has to say.  What exactly does one expect from a Critters movie though, especially a fifth one?  I hate to say, something a little better than this.  The title isn’t lying in that the critters do attack and that’s all they do, repetitively (the gore factor is definitely high enough this time to secure an R-rating, something the previous four films did not).  Again, what would someone (especially a fan) expect from a Critters movie?  Yes, but there was no style to most of it, feeling repetitive as I’ve said and like an (I hate to say) unnecessary sequel (at least it wasn’t a remake though).  Nods to Gremlins and Mars Attacks! felt like poor attempts to add “originality” to this entry too.  I’m not trying to say I didn’t enjoy this at all either.  Like I said, I love how they’re still practical (especially in this very much digital age), it’s well-shot like the others for being non-theatrical, and I liked when the critters were the ones being attacked at the end (that was fun).  I just hope if they make another one (you know I’m going to watch it if so), it’s a bit more distinctive (original is nearly impossible these days) and doesn’t feel (ahem) unnecessary.  7/23/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Hail Satan?  >>>G

Missing Link  >>>OK/G

A Violent Separation  >>>OK

We Have Always Lived in the Castle  >>>OK

---Sean O.
7/25/2019

Crawl

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Crawl                                                                          G

Hurricanes are frightening on their own.  Imagine alligators in those rising waters.  Such is the premise in this new feature directed by Alexandre Aja (High Tension, The Hills Have Eyes and Piranha remakes) wherein a girl drives into the hurricane zone to check on her father who’s not answering his phone.  An article on social media listed five films to watch---Bait, Cujo, Deep Blue Sea, Rogue, Burning Bright---in preparation for this film.  I could tell where all those influences came in, all good ones too, but I think it has the most in common with Bait and Burning Bright in terms of overall scope.  What makes a concept like this so frightening, as well as those aforementioned films, is its verisimilitude; this could really happen, and I’m sure it has.  The alligators obviously couldn’t be real, at least in regards to human interaction, but they looked real enough.  Since this was still a movie though, some of it was too far-fetched---I don’t care how fast a swimmer you may be, you’re not going to outswim a gator, let alone several (the main character is rarely ever killed in these films though and somehow the creatures always know that); and how does a gator break through a wall and house window so easily, but can’t crack a glass shower door right away?  Some of it was a bit predictable too, or formulaic possibly, like when any extra characters appeared and were inevitably attacked; just a matter of when and how they played out; there is blood too (probably what ultimately garnered the R-rating).  And while part of me feels it was kind of short and ended too abruptly, the other part of me feels it may have been a wise choice to avoid becoming repetitive and overstaying its welcome.  Criticisms aside, it was still an enjoyable natural disaster/natural horror hybrid that I have a feeling might get better with more viewings.  7/15/2019

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Fast Color  >>>G

Little  >>>OK

Scream:  Season One  >>>OK

            (VH1/Netflix)

Sexual Chronicles of a French Family  >>>B/EH

What Men Want  >>>EH

---Sean O.
7/18/2019

Stranger Things: Season Three

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Stranger Things:  Season Three                                  VG

I liked the first season of this Eighties-set Netflix series, but didn’t love it.  I didn’t like the second season as much, but it was still decent (my reviews for both are in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com).  This season, set in 1985, is the best one yet.  It incorporates the communist fear of the time in addition to consumerist culture being at an all-time high while still focusing on the young characters dealing with otherworldly (as well as human) beings in their small town of Hawkins, Indiana.  I knew it was going to be a good season from the get-go when some of the kids snuck in to see Day of the Dead at the mall theater (granted, that isn’t the best of the Romero movies, but the kids could’ve snuck in to see countless other movies released in 1985).  I believe this season was the most horror-oriented although still having a very sci-fi plot.  In addition to the pop culture references, I noticed nods to The Terminator (the main Russian baddie was an obvious stand-in for Mr. Schwarzenegger), Tremors, Evil Dead 2, and for a brief moment was reminded of The Faculty (even though that was released in the Nineties), just to name a few, but never thought any were cheap knockoffs.  The creature is obviously CGI but completely passable (a big improvement over the “demadogs” from last season and even better than the Demogorgon from the first).  I binged the entire season in one day with obvious breaks in between, never forcing myself to continue, and was only bored for maybe three minutes during one of all 8 episodes wherein 7 were between 50-minutes to an hour and the last one being 78.  Otherwise, this season contained nary a single moment I didn’t want to watch, so it looks like season four has some competition…7/8/2019

Bonus reviews:

Pet Sematary                                                               EH

As much as I frown upon the notion of remakes and always bitch about them yet still watch them anyway, I’ve learned to try and give them a chance by telling myself not to hate them beforehand and not compare them to the original.  It is often very hard to do that though.  Michael Gingold said in his Rue Morgue review that this version was an improvement on the original (Seriously?  Did you even see the original?  I know you obviously did, but WTF?!).  I completely disagree with Mr. Gingold.  The original Pet Sematary will always hold a special place in my heart (the nostalgia factor).  The first half of this version was almost exactly the same as the original with different performers (aside from the obvious change in child death).  The second half attempted to change things up but was absolutely not an improvement on the original and might have worked in another movie (or if the original didn’t exist).  This version just wasn’t as dark and depressing (in the effective way) as the original.  I wasn’t convinced by the grieved performances in this version as much as the original.  Victor Pascow wasn’t as memorable this time, nor did he make as much of an appearance.  The Starcrawler version of “Pet Sematary” during the end credits wasn’t nearly as good as The Ramones version in the original (The Creepshow did a better cover of the song).  It may have been well-shot, but the best thing in this unnecessary remake was the animal masks that weren’t even featured as prominently as the trailer suggested.  Plus, I’m not going to deny that the ending was a bit dark (in a different way than the original was).  You can pick your version to like, but I’m sticking with the original 1989 version I grew up with!  7/9/2019

Pyewacket                                                                   OK/G

Usually, at least in the movies, it never leads to anything good when you perform a dark ritual.  Such is the case here when a gothic teenager summons the titular demon to kill her mother after a serious argument.  Not much happens but you know something eventually will and I thought that’s what made it effective and kept my attention throughout.  I didn’t feel like it was over when it ended though, not exactly in the Gone Girl way either, so I can’t rightfully give it a strictly G rating, even though I lean much closer to G.  I am a fan of the director’s other much different film, Backcountry, and was mostly a fan of this, so I am interested in what he (Adam MacDonald) puts out next.  7/9/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Animals  >>>OK

Sicilian Ghost Story  >>>OK/G

Trail of Blood  >>>OK/G

---Sean O.
7/10/2019

Annabelle Comes Home

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Annabelle Comes Home                                             G

Annabelle 3?  Yes, chronologically too as it takes place after the second film (Creation) and the first film which was technically the second one.  It takes place after The Conjuring too (which exists in the same universe) and I’m not exactly sure before, during, or after The Conjuring 2, but whatever, this is a review, not a synopsis, and I don’t think it’s mandatory to view any of those films beforehand, but it might be wise.  I was initially disappointed with Annabelle since I expected an evil doll movie and was actually a demonic movie reminiscent of Rosemary’s Baby.  The titular doll is simply just present in each film and attracts evil spirits.  I’ve learned to appreciate the first film more as a demonic one instead of an evil doll one though.  Annabelle:  Creation was better than Annabelle and not only because I knew not to expect an evil doll movie, but because it was an effectively made haunted house movie (check out my review in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com).  This was also a well-shot haunted house film seemingly tailored for horror fans, fans of the Annabelle films or not.  Sure, there are jump scares that are more annoying than frightening (anyone living and breathing is naturally going to react when the music is suddenly amplified), but I don’t recall ever disliking it at any time.  I liked it better than Annabelle (only because I wasn’t disappointed with this the first time) but not better than Annabelle:  Creation.  I’m giving it a mild recommendation for indiscriminate horror fans and those that are going to see it anyway, but I suggest you see it in the theater or at night with no lights on being there’s a significant amount of dark scenes (I, for one, can’t stand that glare or reflection in my TV during the daytime).  7/1/2019

Bonus review:

Wu-Tang Clan:  Of Mics and Men                              OK/G

Four-episode miniseries available on Showtime featuring the 9 members (RZA, GZA, Method Man, Raekwon, ODB, Ghostface Killah, Inspectah Deck, U-God, and Masta Killa with Cappadonna being an extra member) from Staten Island collectively known as the Wu-Tang Clan.  Now, when Wu-Tang became big back in the Nineties, I hated them.  I hated most rap.  At the time, I wasn’t interested (for the most part) in anything but metal and punk.  Everyone else loved Wu-Tang though---the black kids, the white kids, the brown kids, even some metalheads and punks that swore they hated rap.  I seemed to see Wu-Wear everywhere I looked.  Fast forward a couple years though when I expanded my musical horizons, or admitted I liked other genres more like it, and Wu-Tang became one of my favorite rap groups (I like their first two albums, 36 Chambers and Wu-Tang Forever, but none of the releases after that stood out).  I would imagine you’d need some interest in the group (past or present) to invest your time in this documentary that’s roughly four hours total (each segment an hour give or take).  Like most biopics, it gives the artist(s) we generally only know as artists a human quality while chronicling their history from the beginning to the present.  The 9 are definitely a rags-to-riches story.  Like many others from low-income neighborhoods, they dealt with poverty, racism, and drug use/dealing growing up.  I was shocked to hear one member was penniless after getting out of jail despite all his prior success with the group and as a solo artist.  I was also surprised to hear one member say a specific job he had before forming Wu-Tang was one of the highlights of his life whether he was being facetious or not.  Another member you’ll find out is related to two other famous people.  So yeah, there are some informative tidbits contained within, but since it’s a total of four hours (it was actually a wise move to make them segments to take breaks in between), there are parts that drag and much of the information likely could’ve been researched on your own, even though visual media is an avenue for information as well.  I definitely wasn’t unsatisfied by the end, as any fan (past or present) shouldn’t be, and regardless of how you feel about the group overall, there’s no denying their legendary status in hip-hop history.  6/30/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The Cured  >>>EH

Elizabeth Harvest  >>>OK

First Man  >>>EH

The Isle  >>>EH/OK

Nightfall  >>>VB

What Keeps You Alive   >>>G

---Sean O.
7/1/2019

Child's Play/Toy Story 4

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Child’s Play                                                                OK/G

Yes, as much as I complained about this remake (like any) and as much as I hated Chucky’s new look, curiosity got the better of me after reading several reviews from horror publications.  You would think how much I complain about remakes, I wouldn’t bother watching them in order to stop promoting them (I blame my OCD).  Some of them are actually worthy (check out my list in my review of the Pet Sematary documentary, dated 4/11/19) and, let’s face it, they’re going to keep happening from here on out whether we like it or not.  Regardless of what version is out there, the version you love and/or grew up with is never going to be eradicated.  Anyway, as much as I love the Chucky movies, I never saw one in the theater---the first three I was too young, I can’t remember why I didn’t go see Bride, Seed I had no interest at the time, and the last two (Curse and Cult) were direct-to-video.  Therefore, this is officially the first Chucky movie I’ve seen theatrically.  What did I think?  As a standalone film, it actually wasn’t that bad.  That being said, I think they could’ve made this its own movie.  Yes, it’s called Child’s Play, there’s a killer doll named Chucky, and there’s a kid named Andy living with his single mother whom works at a department store, but those are all adjustable comparisons.  Instead of the doll being possessed by a serial killer via voodoo, this doll, actually a technological device similar to Alexa called Buddi instead of Good Guy, was intentionally made defective by a fired worker in a Vietnamese production facility.  It could be yet another cautionary tale about how dangerous modern technology can become, sort of like a Black Mirror episode.  There are some funny moments and a good portion of worthy violence (one scene involving a car is a bit silly), but the film felt too short and I expected more violence.  I definitely didn’t hate it though, far from it, as much as I hated the idea upon hearing of it, and actually won’t deter you from checking it out during bargain times or when it’s released on DVD/Blu-ray/Streaming.  Like I said, the original Chucky films will always be there and will likely always be my favorite versions since I grew up with them, but this was a passable re-imagining (never thought I’d say that).  6/24/2019

Toy Story 4                                                                  OK

I have officially seen all the Toy Story movies in the theater.  Toy Story 3 was supposed to be the last one, but I never take anyone’s word for it when they say that (case in point---The Devil’s Rejects was supposed to be the end, but 3 From Hell is coming out; Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was supposed to be the end of the titular duo’s cinematic appearance, but there’s a new Jay and Silent Bob movie coming out; and so on and so on).  Toy Story was great, Toy Story 2 and 3 were worthy and fun, 3 being the most emotional, and this one was…just okay.  Sure, this may have been emotional at times and some of the new characters were funny, but I felt like I’ve seen it all before.  And call me “no fun,” but I just didn’t have too much fun with this one.  And criticize me all you want, but I couldn’t stand Forky.  You’re going to watch this if you’ve seen the first three (don’t tell me you’re not), but, as much as I hate to say, I think they should’ve ended at 3 like they intended, making this an unnecessary sequel (dare I say).  Surprisingly, 98% of 330 critics on Rotten Tomatoes (as of this writing) disagree with me.  6/25/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Captive State  >>>B

Hale County This Morning, This Evening  >>>EH/OK

Hellgate  >>>EH

Her Smell  >>>OK

Under the Silver Lake  >>>EH

---Sean O.
6/25/2019

The Cleaning Lady

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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The Cleaning Lady                                                      OK/G

This was a decent thriller involving a lady mistakingly befriending the (physically and mentally) scarred cleaning lady.  Basically, you should always be cautious of who you allow into your life and home.  Clearly this cleaning lady is off from the get-go and you know something is eventually going to go down (I don’t think I’m spoiling it by saying something does).  You do gradually learn more about this girl and understand how she became the way she is, like most cinematic villains, but any sane person would say that still doesn’t condone her behavior towards others.  Like I said in the first sentence, this was decent but felt rather generic; plus, it ended quite abruptly, making it appear somewhat closure-less, at least to me.  Oh, and if you’re a mouse lover or any kind of animal rights activist, you might want to skip the very beginning.  6/15/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Bent (1997)  >>>OK

The Strange Colour of Your Body’s Tears  >>>EH/OK

Turkey Shoot (Escape 2000)  >>>OK

A Vigilante  >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.
6/16/2019

Black Mirror: Season Five

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Black Mirror:  Season Five                                        

Here we are at season five of this anthology series (available on Netflix) involving various forms of technology usually, if not always, having a negative impact.  This season only contains three episodes, all a little over an hour.  The first two seasons only had 3 episodes as well though, and there was a standalone, choose-your-outcome film (Bandersnatch) released 6 months ago (you can read my reviews for that film plus the entire series thus far in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com).  Since there were only three episodes, each with different ratings, I reviewed them separately:

“Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too” (OK)

This one stars Miley Cyrus as a famous pop singer, not herself mind you, but as Ashley performing an un-catchy dance-pop cover of Nine Inch Nails’ “Head Like a Hole” and a slightly more rock version later on that I thought was even worse.  The Ashley Too of the title is a miniature robot version of her that apparently contains parts of her brain.  This episode wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been, but it’s ultimately about young artists having no say in their creative output and wasn’t distinctively Black Mirror material.

“Smithereens” (EH)

Here’s another segment that didn’t necessarily have to be a Black Mirror episode as it’s a bland hostage story involving a man angry at an app company despite being no one’s fault but his own for how his life turned out.  Props though for the gunman not assuming his hostage is straight at one time (Down with heteronormativity!  Nothing against straight people, mind you, they’re just not the only ones in the world).  Oh, and Topher Grace does not look good with a man bun; that was never a good look to begin with (sorry man bun friends/acquaintances). 

“Striking Vipers” (G)

This one starring Anthony Mackie was the only one this season that actually felt like a Black Mirror episode.  It involves the titular video game in which two grown men simultaneously play as opposite-sex avatars and “bond” in a way they never have in reality before.  It isn’t exactly “San Junipero” of season three, but it reminded me of it.  Being John Malkovich slightly came to mind as well, but it wasn’t like that at all.  This is a potent episode, with an ending that was just right, confirming that some people still have trouble being their true selves.

In conclusion, this wasn’t the best season as a whole, last season was better, but like most anthology shows/movies, segments are going to be hit and miss, sometimes equally, sometimes one over the other.  I will tune in for season six and beyond; let’s just hope next season is better overall.  6/6/2019

Bonus review:

Black Spot:  Season One                                             OK

French series available on Netflix consisting of 8 episodes, all 50-something minutes.  Unfortunately, they all felt like it too, most of them feeling even longer.  The set-up and location are great though; it’s an isolated small town surrounded by woods---perfect for a mystery/thriller.  Being that it’s a small town, isolated at that, everyone knows everyone and most of them have secrets.  Yup, this small town (on screen) is no different.  There’s an air of Twin Peaks about it all, complete with a sawmill in town (go ahead and deny the influence, creators, but you should’ve been more subtle than that).  There’s even a mystery surrounding a missing girl in town from the get-go who may or may not be dead (you do find out).  Laura Palmer may have been dead from the onset of Twin Peaks but the comparisons are hard to deny.  After finding out where the missing girl is here, alive or dead, the revelation is a ‘whatever’ reaction.  There were a couple episodes where it seemed a different case was brought up before the culprit was revealed, almost making it a sort of CSI-type show (or Scooby-Doo more accurately).  Oh, and this ain’t no “ordinary” town either; there seems to be a bipedal creature with antlers dwelling in the woods that we only see sporadic glimpses of until the very end.  I wish the series would’ve spent more time on that mythological aspect; it almost gave it a Wayward Pines kind of vibe.  Overall, I don’t think this show is entirely worth watching; despite looking great as I’ve mentioned, the episodes drag as I’ve mentioned and the characters aren’t as compelling as that aforementioned David Lynch-created series.  That being said, this is an exercise in style over substance (I’m very hesitant in continuing with season two that’s soon to be released).  I suggest you watch Twin Peaks instead (again or for the first time), or even Wayward Pines.  6/8/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Ahockalypse  >>>EH/OK

            (closer to OK)

Bedevilled  >>>G

Dragged Across Concrete  >>>OK

The Head Hunter  >>>OK

---Sean O.
6/9/2019

Greta/Ma

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Greta                                                                           G/VG

This thriller from Neil Jordan (The Crying Game, Interview with the Vampire) is nothing we haven’t seen before.  Instead of a heterosexual relationship though in which one is the stalker/psycho, this film involves two women, one young and one older (played by Chloe Grace Moretz and Isabelle Huppert).  Their relationship isn’t intimate though; Greta (Huppert) is just a lady whom Chloe’s character befriends after returning a bag to her before realizing she’s one of many that did the “right” thing.  Greta is a crazy be-yotch and will make you think twice about doing the “right” thing (but you should already know there are people like Greta out there; maybe just leave the bag unattended or wait until lost and found is actually open?).  The film may have been predictable at times and there’s a twist at the end I figured out (What can I say? I watch too many movies), but everything was situationally right for this picture.  The performances were all great and I don’t think I was bored a single time.  Greta has my stamp of approval!  6/2/2019

Ma                                                                               OK

Octavia Spencer once played a role in which she baked a pie containing her own shit to get revenge on an employer (The Help).  Here, she plays the titular character, dubbed so by one of the teenagers she allows to party in her basement, and while she may not use fecal matter, she gets revenge in other ways, deadlier ways.  While I’m sure the average teenager would love a place to party without worrying about being caught, no one initially thinks it odd that a woman old enough to be their parent (especially not a parent to anyone either) living in the middle of nowhere allows a bunch of you to party at her pad?  And if one of the rules she enforces is not to go upstairs, something must surely be up there and eventually we’re going to find out (you do).  Clearly Ma is unhinged (as you should know before going in) and somewhere down the line you know she’s going to snap.  There’s a bit of Annie Wilkes about her, Kathy Bates’ character in Misery for those that don’t know.  Bottom line, those you make fun of or wrong don’t necessarily forget (time doesn’t always heal all wounds) and some people like Ma get revenge.  This does get violent but not as much as I would’ve thought and, overall, the film is nothing special, just okay, and not worth seeing in the theater (unless you have a free pass like I did).  Wait until it’s cheaper (or free) to watch at home (I don’t think it’s even worth bargain time prices).  6/1/2019

Bonus reviews:

Black Summer:  Season One                                       OK

I saw this was a new horror release on Netflix last month.  I then read it took place in the Z Nation universe, a show (currently on season 5) I’ve been meaning to check out but haven’t gotten around to (I have a long list).  I then read it was a prequel that took place way before Z Nation.  I then saw it was only 8 episodes with the longest being 45 minutes and the shortest being 21 (what an uneven setup!), so I decided to binge it with nothing else new to watch.  Now, if this aired back in the day (before On Demand and binge-option networks) and I had to tune in every week, I likely wouldn’t have bothered or continued.  And even though I have yet to watch Z Nation, this series appeared to stand alone and, let’s face it, this is as typical as zombie entertainment gets---the epidemic begins, a group of survivors meet up and fight off zombies and other humans, they all work their way to a supposed sanctuary, yada, yada, yada.  The zombies are more like the “infected” from 28 Days/Weeks Later, but, like those films, you still become one of them if they come in contact with you, and similar to The Walking Dead, you still become one if you die period.  Is this undead entry particularly worth your time?  Not necessarily, unless you’re a zombie completist or need a new horror show to binge-watch on Netflix, and I guess if you’re a fan of Z Nation.  I have heard Z Nation was better than The Walking Dead, but that show should’ve ended 6 seasons ago (I officially stopped watching it last season).  I didn’t dislike this show; I liked it better during the first half, especially the episodes taking place in the school and diner.  I did like how there were different characters to focus on since it likely would’ve been tedious having the entire series take place in either the school or diner or anywhere with the same characters.  After they all meet up, things began to feel rushed with lots of uninvolving running and shootouts before culminating in a clichéd and expected bittersweet ending.  Like I said, Z Nation is on my long list of things to watch, but if I’m going to commit to at least 5 seasons (currently), I hope it’s better than this.  5/30/2019

Rust Creek                                                                   OK

A college girl gets lost in the backwoods of Kentucky on her way to DC for an interview before being pursued by two brothers in this movie that begins Wrong Turn-ish.  Then, it ultimately becomes a movie about making drugs with some Stockholm syndrome involved (kind of).  Basically, you can’t always rely on GPS.  If you’re ever driving on backroads though and you’re far from any kind of civilization, don’t stop and get out of your car to look at a map, especially if you’re a young girl.  And if movies taught us anything, don’t trust the cops in a small town because one or more are likely in cahoots with the people that tried to harm you.  While this felt more like a drama, it wasn’t bad on its own merit, but I expected more of a straight-up horror film.  Come to think of it though, knowing it was a 108-minute movie beforehand, I was hoping it wasn’t just going to be a chase movie through the woods, so I really don’t know what to say.  6/1/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Always Be My Maybe  >>>OK

The Girl in the Spider’s Web  >>>EH/OK

MFKZ  >>>OK/G

---Sean O.
6/3/2019

The Witch in the Window

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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The Witch in the Window                                            VG

This ‘Shudder Exclusive’ may well be the best haunted house movie I’ve seen in quite some time.  It isn’t particularly scary, although one or two parts may frighten the more sensitive viewers, and there’s no violence or special effects; it’s just a simple yet effective, poignant New England gothic thriller that doesn’t overstay its welcome at barely 77-minutes.  The father-son dynamics alone are equally compelling and charming (the progressive father doesn’t assume his son is straight at one time).  The witch of the title, which is actually a ghost, makes her presence known quite early too.  What she wants isn’t exactly new, but it works well enough here, making the ending a bit melancholic yet not pussified like many ghost stories tend to be.   Unlike The Haunting of Hill House adaptation on Netflix, this is a fine example proving that horror and drama can effectively co-exist (brevity being an additional plus).  5/27/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Bleed (2016)  >>>B/EH

Death House  >>>VB

Ruin Me  >>>OK

Suburban Gothic  >>>OK

---Sean O.
5/29/2019

Slasher: Season Three

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Slasher:  Season Three                                                OK/G

This season (currently available on Netflix), much like the preceding two, contains detailed characterizations and bloody violence when need be; one part puts the ‘death by blender’ scene in You’re Next to shame.  The victims this time are tenants in an apartment building and the killer is dubbed “The Druid” and looks like a Purge character.  Also like the other entries, this season contains a diverse cast comprising the gender/race/sexuality spectrum, maybe the most so far if I’m not mistaken, and I believe this series (especially this season) may top American Horror Story for having more LGBT representation; well, maybe not the T, so perhaps there should be a trans character(s) in future seasons to be completely inclusive?  This season was more engaging than season two but lost steam in the middle-ish for a bit; I definitely lean more towards G though.  I figured out who the killer was early on (the key sometimes is to pay attention to every single character no matter how many times they appear, and notice if they’re ever pursued by the killer or happen to be in the vicinity during a murder), but there’s more to the ending after the revelation at the end of episode seven (oh, there are 8 episodes like the other 2 seasons, roughly between 45 and 50 minutes each).  I binged this entire season in one day like I did the others; it has that addictive quality and the episodes go by pretty fast.  That being said, I can say I’m a fan of this anthology series for the most part and will definitely tune in for any subsequent seasons.  5/24/2019

Bonus reviews:

The Perfection                                                             OK/G

Reviews for this Netflix film were pretty cryptic in the details, so I won’t disclose too much information either, other than that it involves musical performers, paranoia, and revenge.  It begins as one type of movie before backtracking and becoming another, and there’s more than one Wild Things-ish twist which I feel lessened the film’s overall impact.  I was engrossed for a good deal and dark elements are within, but it’s another one of those films I anticipated but wasn’t as satisfied as I anticipated.  5/25/2019

Rim of the World                                                         EH/OK

This new Netflix film begins as a silly camp movie before becoming a silly alien invasion/post-apocalyptic movie.  Silly, but kind of fun (pretend ‘kind of’ is in big bold letters).  The fate of the world falls on four kids (a nerdy redhead, a misunderstood delinquent, an initially quiet Asian girl, and a mouthy black kid; or, in their own words, “a nerd, a criminal, an orphan, and a joke”) that meet at the titular camp and must travel to a facility with an item needed to save the world.  Do you think they end up saving the world?  Of course they do, or maybe they don’t (it’s not polite to spoil movies, especially in reviews), but whether they do or not, they face several obstacles (both human and alien) en route to the facility, all while referencing different types of pop culture.  The crappy CGI creatures look straight out of a videogame and don’t try to tell me that McG (the director) doesn’t have enough money/resources for better creature designs considering he made two Charlie’s Angels movies and one of the Terminator movies.  Overall, I don’t think this is entirely worth watching, it goes on longer than necessary, but you could do worse.  You could also do better.  5/25/2019

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Christmas Presence  >>>EH/OK

Dead Shack  >>>G

Deadwax:  Season One  >>>G

(Shudder)

Miss Bala  >>>OK

Tyrel  >>>OK

You Might Be the Killer  >>>G

---Sean O.
5/26/2019

Slasher: Season One and Two

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Slasher:  Season One                                                  G

I finally got around to watching this show (an anthology series like that of American Horror Story or True Detective) I put on my long list of ‘to-watch’ titles, thanks to social media for reminding me of it.  In the beginning, I wondered how an 8-episode series (available on Netflix) being generally 43 minutes each (almost 6 hours!) could effectively sustain itself considering a slasher film under 90 minutes overstays its welcome half the time, if not more than.  Well, as you can see by my rating, it did work and characterization was a big factor in making that happen.  Characterization is very important to a slasher feature as we typically spend more time with the potential victims than the villain.  If they only focused on the kills (as impressive as they may be), the film would be no more than 15 minutes and completely lack characterization, making it more akin to a snuff film.  Part of the fun in the Friday the 13^th films, in addition to Jason Voorhees and all his kills, are the many characters we get to meet before all but one (or two sometimes) meet their demise.  This series takes place in a small town called Waterbury where a young woman returns with her husband to the house her parents were murdered in almost 30 years prior (which is one of the first scenes you see).  Being it’s a small town, everyone pretty much knows everyone and most people have secrets.  There are a good deal of characters and we get to know them all well enough regardless of how early they bite it.  There’s enough to keep you occupied, regardless of originality, which made me binge-watch the entire season in less than 24 hours.  And there is violence, not often, but quite gory at times.  I did figure out who the killer was fairly early, but, come on, I’ve seen enough of these to pay attention to every character.  Also, as I know I’ve mentioned before, I don’t really care who the person behind the mask is as long as I enjoy the rest of it (as I mostly did here).  Plus, the killer usually isn’t revealed until the end (here, it’s the end of the 7^th episode), so we have to be occupied before that, otherwise it’ll be a dull movie or TV show (which this surprisingly wasn’t).  On to season two (see below) and season three is premiering this week as of this writing, so it looks like I chose a good time to begin this series, as should other slasher fans who haven’t yet!  5/19/2019

Slasher:  Season Two                                                  OK

Well, like many sequels (even though this is an anthology series), this season wasn’t as good as the first (see above).  I definitely didn’t hate it though and don’t regret watching it, and I still binge-watched it in one day like I did the first.  The episodes were a bit longer this time (roughly ten minutes give or take) and the characterizations weren’t always as captivating; some I didn’t get to know well enough, some I could care less about (not uncommon for a slasher feature though).  The setting was more fitting this time for a general slasher---a former camp, now a commune, isolated, transportation destroyed (gas siphoned from vehicles), communication cut off (I believe this took place in the past as I don’t recall cell phones), too far to walk due to the cold---but I got bored more than once (must’ve been those extra ten minutes!).  It takes place in the present at the (now) commune, but there are many flashbacks to when it was a camp five years prior and a group of camp counselors (now at the commune) were responsible for a murder.  I think it would’ve been better if the story took place during camp to feel more slasher-y, but the creators sort of managed to make it work the finalized way.  The deaths are definitely gorier, making at least one of the “sequel rules” from Scream 2 true here (the deaths are more elaborate in sequels), but, like I said, this isn’t a sequel and the only connection to season one was the re-appearance of some of the performers (not characters).  I actually didn’t figure out the killer this time, but when they were revealed (at the end of episode 6), it was simply a ‘whatever’ reaction.  There was a twist though that took me by surprise, not fresh, but I didn’t expect it here, and it ironically brought to mind the original Friday the 13^th.  I liked this season more than disliked it, but like many sequels and anthology shows/series for that matter, they can’t always be good or equally as good as other parts (as nice as that would be).  I’m still looking forward to season three being released this week (as of this writing)!  5/21/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Aquaman  >>>OK/G

Arctic  >>>OK

Everybody Knows  >>>EH/OK

Isn’t It Romantic  >>>EH

The Man Who Killed Hitler and then the Bigfoot  >>>EH/OK

Wanda Sykes:  Not Normal  >>>OK/G

---Sean O.
5/22/2019

Clown Motel

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Clown Motel                                                                EH/OK

Social media has its pros and cons; a con being most people have access to it at their fingertips every waking moment of every day (yes, some of us, myself included, still prefer using the internet the old-fashioned way with a computer screen, keyboard and mouse, but that doesn’t mean us “old-fashioned” types aren’t consumed by it either); a pro being I come across ads in which I can view movies for free before their release date, as was the case with this movie involving the real motel located in Nevada.  Not only am I always interested in new horror movies being released, but I’m even more interested whenever it involves clowns (don’t even ask me why I’ve always had a fascination with evil clowns because I can’t even answer it).  Granted, they’re not always good and unfortunately there’s more bad than good ones or even just okay ones, but that never stops me from watching them.  If you took away the clowns and the story took place at another hotel in the middle of nowhere, this would be just another unoriginal haunted location film.  My biggest gripe was that the clowns weren’t frightening at all (coulrophobes might think otherwise, but if you’re afraid of clowns in general, wouldn’t you be afraid of innocuous ones like Ronald McDonald and Krusty the Clown as well?), nor were any of them particularly memorable (two of them were even played by the original Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers!).  There is a bit of violence, but not enough to make me feel any different, although I have never seen someone murdered with a windshield wiper before (that I will remember)!  Although I may have been disappointed with this, I don’t regret watching it and still want to visit the real location.  That is how you know if you like a movie or not, by watching it, is it not?  And although it may be disappointing when you don’t like a movie you’ve been looking forward to watching, I think it’s worse not being able to see it at all (thanks again Facebook)!  Perhaps my fellow clown lovers will like it better---we need as many clown horror movies as we can get.  I just hope one day there’re more good/okay ones than below-average/bad ones.  Check out these websites for more info on the film:  (https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/clown-motel-dark-horror-film-finishing-fund#/), (https://www.facebook.com/ClownMotel2016/).  5/14/2019

Bonus review:

Wolf Creek:  Season One                                            G

Six-episode series, totaling roughly 5 hours with the longest one being an hour, based off the film of the same name that’s claimed to be a ‘Shudder Exclusive,’ but you can also get it On Demand via Lionsgate for $2.99 an episode.  If you really want to watch it though, I suggest you try Shudder free for a week or month depending on which promo you get (Rue Morgue gave me a code for a free month, thank you!).  I would imagine fans of Wolf Creek and maybe Wolf Creek 2 as well (I enjoyed the first one, the second one was decent) will be the only ones to care checking this out, even though you don’t necessarily have to watch those first.  I don’t recall any direct references to either film, but the same wisecracking serial killer Mick Taylor (played by John Jarratt again) is back.  In the first episode, he murders an American teenage girl’s entire family while vacationing at a billabong (an Australian lake) and she manages to escape, thus vowing revenge even if that means traveling all across Australia (which she largely does).  She comes across other troubles during her trek and kudos to the creators for that since a 6-episode spinoff would’ve been rather lame had it solely consisted of a cat-and-mouse plot with the occasional, and likely formulaic, murder by Mr. Taylor.  The episodes generally go by pretty fast and I grew quite fond of the main characters, namely the teenage girl and a police officer sort of on her trail from the get-go.  Greg McLean, the writer and director of both Wolf Creek and Wolf Creek 2, only returns here as the director of the final episode, ironically titled “Wolf Creek,” where we get a bit of a backstory on Mick Taylor that doesn’t necessarily ruin anything we’ve seen already (every serial killer, fictional or not, does have one after all).  Since I knew a season two was already made (currently not available on Shudder or Demand apparently), I had a feeling Mick wouldn’t be defeated, much like his indestructible American counterparts (Jason, Michael), but why can’t movie/TV characters (especially in this day and age) ever make sure the person is actually dead before leaving their body?  Anyway, this spinoff series may have been unnecessary and predictable at times, but I still enjoyed it, as should anyone that was even just a casual fan of the first film (I, myself, didn’t love the first Wolf Creek, but I liked it).  5/16/2019

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Cold Pursuit  >>>OK

Lake Bodom  >>>OK

Terrified  >>>OK

Toad Road  >>>EH

Vice  >>>EH

---Sean O.

5/16/2019