Heart Eyes

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Heart Eyes                                                                  OK

There aren’t too many Valentine’s Day horror flicks.  There’s My Bloody Valentine and its remake, the underseen yet not exactly grand Lovers Lane, Valentine, and the segments from Holidays and the original Tales from the Crypt film (my review for Holidays in one of my older blogs is in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2016/11/mooby-reviews-11416.html); ones featuring a romance without taking place on or around the holiday don’t count either.  Here’s another one to add to the list.  In it, a killer dubbed the Heart Eyes Killer (HEK, for short), due to the mask having hearts for the eyeholes, has killed people in different cities for the last three V-days, Seattle being the current one.  The kills, for the most part, are worthy enough, but the film generally isn’t anything other than ordinary; predictable more so than it tries not to be.  It’s basically a rom-com with a body count; a sappy rom-com by the end.  I wouldn’t say I disliked it, but it sucks I didn’t like it better than I anticipated.  Happy V-day, suckers!  2/11/2025

Bonus review:

Crust                                                                           EH

Sean Whalen, a face you recognize more than the name (he was in The People Under the Stairs, Twister, Idle Hands, etc.), directed, co-wrote, and stars in this, playing a has-been child actor living and working in a laundromat.  After a group of teens film him doing something private, yet very human, and post it online, one of his tears falls into a mound of socks, thus giving birth to the sock monster of the title.  Yup, a sock monster, complete with two holes for eyes, a mouth, and two arms (kind of reminded me of the Egg Monster on the cover of the original Goosebumps book, Egg Monsters from Mars).  It kills anyone that bothers our protagonist.  My expectations weren’t very high given the concept, but this didn’t work for me; at least not in the way I hoped it would.  (I did think it was funny when Crust danced along to an oldies tune, and I liked how they decided to end the film).  It’s basically more of a drama about a man with a mid-life crisis, the titular sock monster essentially ancillary.  2/8/2025

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Arena Wars  >>>OK

The Birthday (2004)  >>>EH/OK

Borderless Fog  >>>EH

   (Netflix; In Indonesian with subtitles)

Can You Feel the Beat:  The Lisa Lisa Story  >>>OK

                               (Lifetime)

Cupid (2020)  >>>OK

Gladiator II  >>>OK

Grave Torture  >>>EH/OK

   (In Indonesian with subtitles)

Here (2024)  >>>OK/G

My Animal  >>>OK/G

Severance (Season One)  >>>OK/G

            (Apple+; 9 episodes)

SpongeBob Squarepants: Kreepaway Kamp  >>>B/EH

---Sean O.

2/12/2025

Horror's Greatest (Season Two)

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Horror’s Greatest (Season Two)

Five more episodes of this Shudder series (ranging from 40-ish-minutes to a little under an hour each) now all available after being released weekly.  (My review of the first season is in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2024/10/winnie-pooh-blood-and-honey-ii.html).  This time, the episodes cover Animal Attacks, Killer Dates, Hidden Gems, Film Scores, and Space Horror.  Same format here---films in each category are discussed by celebs, writers, critics, etc., with lists interspersed throughout.  [Kudos for including The Witch in the Window on a list in the Hidden Gems episode; I love that criminally underseen gothic ghost story (my review for it is in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2019/05/the-witch-in-window.html)].  There have been countless books and documentaries on the subject, it being a vast genre, but I like the format of this series, even if I’m not the biggest fan of some of the films/topics (i.e. Space has never been my favorite setting for horror or any genre; Jason X worked solely because of the violence).  I’m always up for hearing others discuss film, especially horror, and these episodes go by pretty quickly, sometimes making me wish they were longer.  I saw no mention of a third season online, but I’d welcome more, as the genre is very vast (as mentioned) and this series covers specific topics in addition to subgenres, i.e. Film Scores and Hidden Gems here, Tropes and Clichés, Japanese Horror, and Stephen King Adaptations in the other.  1/28/2025

Bonus reviews:

Listen Carefully                                                           OK/G

Also titled Baby Monitor, at least according to Rue Morgue.  Baby Monitor actually makes more sense; sounds cooler too.  A recently promoted assistant bank manager is given an ultimatum via a baby monitor after his daughter is snatched from her crib while the mother is out with friends.  (Probably not the best idea to leave the window wide open in the same room your baby is sleeping).  He is told to take money from several ATM’s throughout the city and deliver it to an address or some dirty deeds he done did will be disclosed, ruining him; and, of course, he won’t get his daughter back.  Sounds like a fairly typical scenario, no?  It does get a bit bizarre a little past midway, sidestepping the straightforward path it could’ve gone.  I can’t deny I was fairly intrigued for most of the journey.  The destination, not so much.  At least…I’m not so sure.  It appears to be underwhelming at first, negating, if you will, predictable, above all, but then it might’ve concluded ambiguously.  I don’t know.  I have a feeling there may be more to this than we were shown.  I did like it more than not, yes, but the ending could still use a rewrite.  1/29/2025

Murderbot                                                                   EH/OK

I’ll tell you what; this 44-minute feature could’ve been pretty stellar had the special effects/violence looked better.  It comes from Jim Wynorksi, he with a lengthy filmography of mostly unknown B-movies, Chopping Mall and Sorority House Massacre II being two of his more known titles (at least amongst horror fans).  In it, a female robot, looking very much like a human (would that be a cyborg?), escapes a facility and roams into a nearby small abandoned town, eradicating any poor souls living there, as well as those passing through (i.e. a group of teens).  I liked the abandoned small town, had a sort of Twilight Zone vibe to it, and the simplistic, mindless plot would be totally fine, but, again, that subpar violence just ruins it.  I liked that it’s roughly only 44-minutes too, but it might’ve gotten away with being a bit longer (maybe an hour).  [I believe there’s a nod to Mars Attacks! in what weakens the human robot/cyborg].  There are worse ways you could spend 44-minutes, I guess…1/31/2025

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Dark Match  >>>OK

Femme (2023)  >>>OK

The Forest Hills  >>>EH

Grafted  >>>EH/OK

   (Sometimes in Mandarin with subtitles)

Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea  >>>EH

Hundreds of Beavers  >>>EH

Memoir of a Snail  >>>OK/G

Missing You  >>>OK

 (Netflix; 5 episodes)

9 Windows  >>>EH

Presence (2025)  >>>EH/OK

The Sand Castle (2025)  >>>EH/OK

   (Netflix; In Arabic with subtitles)

Scrublands (Series One)  >>>OK

                 (4 episodes)

Skincare  >>>EH/OK

The Swift Effect  >>>OK

            (4 episodes)

The Vourdalak  >>>EH

   (In French with subtitles)

Your Monster  >>>OK

---Sean O.

2/1/2025

Red Rooms

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Red Rooms                                                                  EH

I’ve been looking forward to this Canadian film (French-Canadian, so that means it’s mostly subtitled, with a few parts in English) since reading about it in Rue Morgue awhile ago.  It also made it on many top ten lists and (as of this writing) has a 95% rating out of 85 critics on Rotten Tomatoes, so I guess you can say my expectations were a little high.  In it, a woman attends the trial for a man who murdered three girls, even sleeping outside nearby just to get a spot in line.  The title refers to these sites on the dark web depicting such murders.  It is a slow-burn, but I did think it was going to lead somewhere, having a good build-up and all (plus, I kept thinking of all the rave reviews), but it completely fell short for me.  When it ended, I was like, ‘Seriously?!  That’s it?!  What the hell did so many people, horror fans mostly, see in this?’  I researched spoilers to see if maybe I missed something or wasn’t reading it right (it has happened in the past), but, nope, I learned nothing else upon reading an explanation, nor did it make me want to watch it again.  This is just another case wherein I disagree with the majority.  I shouldn’t have to feel bad about that…1/15/2025

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Goosebumps:  The Vanishing  >>>EH

        (Disney+/Hulu; 8 episodes)

Here for Blood (2024)   >>>EH/OK

Laced (2024)  >>>OK

#MissingCouple  >>>EH/OK

Never Let Go (2024)  >>>G

New Normal (2023)  >>>EH/OK

      (In Korean with subtitles)

The Silent Hour  >>>OK

Tomorrow and I  >>>EH/OK

   (Netflix; In Thai with subtitles; 4 episodes)

---Sean O.

1/21/2025

Squid Game (Season Two)

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Squid Game (Season Two)                                         G

I liked the first season of this Korean Netflix series, but didn’t think it was as good as the hype (you can read my review for it in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2021/11/squid-game.html).  I did not think they needed another season, let alone two (the third and final season, as they say, is coming sometime this year); you’ll see I wrote at the end of the first review that the novelty has already worn itself thin.  I was also a little hesitant seeing the episodes (seven, this time) were all roughly an hour (some a bit shorter, some a bit longer).  I gave in a week after it was released (the day after Christmas) and, lo and behold, I actually enjoyed this season a lot more than I thought I would.  The main protagonist, played by Lee Jung-jae, returns and re-enters the games for a different reason, said reason backfiring, thus he’s stuck again.  The games are different, other than one, and there’s more characters (obviously), the characters being one of the main reasons this works (we do get to know most of them well enough); there’s enough bloodshed too.  There are a few instances where scenes go on longer than they should, i.e. when players choose whether they want to continue or go home (I mean, come on, you know they’re not going to go home because then there’d be no show), but the episodes do generally go by pretty quickly (a plus, given how long they are), and I never felt forced to continue (also a plus).  Since I knew a third season was coming before even watching this I didn’t necessarily expect a conclusion, and there isn’t one.  I actually want to watch the third season based on how surprised I was with this season, but I hope it actually is the final one; otherwise the novelty will definitely wear itself thin…1/5/2025

Bonus reviews:

Booger                                                                                    OK/G

I watched this twice, and I often don’t do that in such proximity (it is barely even 80-minutes though), but there was something strangely compelling about it where I needed to run through it again before knowing my true opinion.  I also read up on other reviews to see if I missed something (like I always do whenever I don’t feel satisfied but want to).  It’s not perfect, but definitely unique and won’t be for all tastes.  In it, Anna and Izzy are best friends that live together.  Booger is the name of the cat that entered their apartment one day via the fire escape.  Izzy dies.  Booger bites Anna on the hand some time afterwards and she gradually exhibits feline tendencies, i.e. eating cat food, coughing up hair balls, etc.  It’s not as silly as it sounds, or as silly as it could’ve been (not the way Nightbitch was; that movie sucked); it’s an indie psychological horror film with a very simple concept that occasionally goes down the rabbit hole, ultimately portraying how one processes grief (as one review I read also clarified).  People grieve differently, as I always say (and needless to say), and Anna’s way surely stands in a class by itself.  1/10/2025

Get Away                                                                    EH/OK

A family of four (the father played by Nick Frost) heads to a remote Swedish island for vacation.  Let’s check off the clichés.  The family is given warnings about going to the island.  The fact they’re going to a remote island, said island only accessible by ferry, said ferry not returning to the mainland until after the “holiday” celebrated there (one based on a historical tragedy).  Uh-huh.  They’re then urged to return back the minute they set foot on the island.  No, there’s no Wicker Man vibes!  Not with that classic set-up in a movie called Get Away!  And of course the warnings won’t be heeded, because then no movie!  We find out right away the isolated house (no way!) they are staying at is being monitored (again, no way!).  You almost think you’re watching a parody despite the semi-serious tone.  There is a twist that was a little too obvious for me fairly early on (sorry, I’ve seen too many movies), said twist actually making me prefer it continued down the clichéd path it was setting us up for; it ends up being a violent black comedy (yes, it is violent).  Despite all the intended clichés and foreseen twist though, I did still kind of, somewhat, in a teensy-tiny bit way, enjoy it, but not really; it does come off as a bit too tongue-in-cheek for me where the horror and comedy don’t mesh well.  I did enjoy it more than Frost’s other recent film, Black Cab, though; definitely.  1/10/2025

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Before (2024)  >>>OK

   (Apple+; 10 episodes)

Hauntology  >>>EH/OK

Invoking Yell  >>>EH/OK

   (In Spanish with subtitles)

Jerry Springer: Fights, Camera, Action  >>>OK

                        (Netflix; 2 episodes)

Juror #2  >>>G

Kneecap  >>>EH

   (Often in Irish with subtitles)

Mothers’ Instinct (2024)  >>>OK

The Piano Lesson  >>>EH/OK

                  (Netflix)

Piece by Piece   >>>EH

The Wild Robot  >>>OK

---Sean O.

1/11/2025

Apartment 7A

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Apartment 7A                                                              EH/OK

Prequel to Rosemary’s Baby, which is one of the best, if not the best, Satanic films.  Yes, I like it better than The Exorcist and The Omen; it’s also a great example of what one might label cozy horror too.  Was a prequel really necessary?  Prequels and sequels never really are, unless they’re planned from the get-go.  (There was also a TV movie sequel in 1976 and a TV movie update in 2014).  I didn’t hate this film, nor did I think it was necessary either.  I mean, we already know what goes on in the apartment building, what the old couple’s intentions are (as well as some of the other characters), and ultimately what befalls the main character (here, a young woman aspiring to be a dancer), so there was no mystery to it.  I tried giving it the benefit of the doubt, as I always try doing, judging it as a standalone film.  It kind of worked as a character study initially, there being a slight Black Swan quality to it, but it eventually just suffers from sequelitis (ahem, prequelitis) and comes off as a remake more often than not.  There is only one Rosemary’s Baby.  1/2/2025

Bonus reviews:

The Front Room                                                          B

Brandy in a horror movie?  Research tells me the last time that happened was I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.  This film is labeled a horror/thriller, but it’s really just crap; it was gross more than once too.  I’d take that mediocre sequel from 1998 over this any day.  Brandy isn’t even the problem here, not really; that dishonor goes to her stepmother-in-law played by Kathryn Hunter, whom comes to live with her and her husband after her own husband passes.  She is one of the most irritating, despicable characters I’ve ever seen on film, and I care not if that was the intention.  I hated this movie.  Hated, hated, hated it.  Definitely one of the worst of 2024.  1/3/2025

The Old Man in the Rocking Chair                             G

Short modern giallo film (roughly 20-minutes) released two years ago (currently available on YouTube; popular composers Pino Donaggio and Goblin are included on the soundtrack).  [Giallo is basically an Italian slasher film, for those that don’t know].  The violence in this is so over-the-top, but is the sole reason it totally works.  I recommend this one.  I actually wish it was maybe 20-to-30-minutes longer, not necessarily feature-length (an hour total, at most), because I feel there’s a bit more to this story that could be interesting.  And apparently this was a remake of an even shorter film released in 2019, also written and directed by Eric Yoder, which I couldn’t find anywhere to view, but I have a sense this updated one is better…12/30/2024

That Christmas                                                            G

(haiku review)

New film on Netflix.

Charming and not quite sappy.

I think I liked it.  12/21/2024

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Amber Alert (2024)  >>>OK

Bird (2024)  >>>OK

Birder  >>>OK

Cuckoo (2024)  >>>B/EH

   (Sometimes in German and French with subtitles)

Here After (2024)  >>>EH

   (Sometimes in Italian with subtitles)

How the Gringo Stole Christmas  >>>OK

The Inheritance (2024)  >>>EH

Last Straw  >>>OK

Mind Body Spirit  >>>EH/OK

The Naughty List of Mr. Scrooge  >>>EH/OK

Nightbitch  >>>EH

Rap World  >>>OK

   (Available on YouTube)

Sweetpea (Season One)  >>>OK

                (6 episodes)

Trim Season  >>>OK

An Urban Allegory  >>>EH

   (Short film; In French with subtitles)

You Are Not Me  >>>OK

   (In Spanish with subtitles)

---Sean O.

1/4/2025