I Like Moobies

Thursday, February 27, 2020

Color Out of Space/Lords of Chaos

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see. I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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Color Out of Space G

I wanted to see this film ever since reading about it in Fangoria and then Rue Morgue (two of my favorite magazines). Seeing that it was going to be theatrically released at the end of January, I forced myself to finally get around to reading the short story (“The Colour Out of Space”) by H.P. Lovecraft in preparation. I really liked the short story and couldn’t wait to see the movie, actually hoping it would be a faithful adaptation. Well, the end of January comes around and the movie isn’t playing anywhere near me! I was bummed, as you can imagine, but saw it was being released on video (DVD/Blu-ray) at the end of this month, so I said I could wait as much as I didn’t want to. I put it on the top of my Netflix queue this week and it wasn’t sent to me, so I went to rent it at Redbox (I waited too damn long). Was it worth the wait? Yes and no, ultimately yes. I wasn’t a fan of some of the special effects, namely the ones involving alpacas and a mother/son hybrid, but I still didn’t hate them and both were practical (they reminded me too much of John Carpenter’s The Thing, a movie I think is highly overrated and I seem to be in the minority with my opinion, especially in the horror world). The effects were a combination of practical and CGI, some naturally had to be CGI (like the colors) and many of those I forgave (although there’s a CGI cat I wasn’t a fan of). Ultimately, I liked it better on paper (as a short story), but I was still mesmerized by much of it, as I hoped I’d be, and satisfied enough by the time it ended despite my aforementioned misgivings. I’ve never seen any other adapted versions of this story, except for maybe The Curse, but this was more of a direct adaptation. This is also Richard Stanley’s first feature film in over 20 years (not counting documentaries and a segment in The Theater Bizarre), having been fired from 1996’s The Island of Dr. Moreau (if interested in the entire story, just Google his name or there’s a documentary titled Lost Soul which I haven’t seen). I am a fan of his first film, Hardware, and finally got around to seeing Dust Devil (it was just okay) not that long ago after reading about it in conjunction with this film’s article in Rue Morgue. He’s mentioned plans on adapting another Lovecraft work, The Dunwich Horror, and I’d definitely be interested; I just have to make sure I get around to reading that short story beforehand. 2/26/2020

Lords of Chaos VG

Mayhem. That infamous Norwegian black metal band in which one member committed suicide and another was murdered by another band member. I always knew the story surrounding the band, as any metalhead or open-minded music historian likely would, but that’s all I ever knew about them. Black metal was never my favorite metal subgenre, but I have listened to bands like Emperor, Dimmu Borgir, Chthonic, and, probably the most famous of them all, Cradle of Filth, Mayhem not being one I ever truly got into. I am definitely fascinated by the subculture surrounding the subgenre though (as with most metal given it’s been one of my favorite music genres since 7^th grade; I’m 37 now). The beginning stated this was “based on truth, lies, and what actually happened,” but as with any work based on “fact,” I’m sure there were parts to this story that may have been slightly fabricated. As with anything based on history though, I viewed this as its own entity and whether it entertained me or not. It did. I enjoyed this movie as should any open-minded metalhead, music historian, or just historian, but I can certainly never speak for anyone else, especially if they know more about the overall story than I did (that being said, I’d be curious to hear what Mayhem fans think). It ultimately gave the members a human quality, if that’s even the right description for a group of misanthropic, church-burning musicians in which some are actually violent, even going so far as labeling other death metal bands (particularly Swedish death metal) as “life metal” since they appear to celebrate life (their words, not mine). It is fairly brutal at times for sensitive viewers, as can be expected given the subject matter (I even flinched once or twice), but I personally recommend it, highly. 2/24/2020

Bonus review:

Brahms: The Boy II OK

I wasn’t originally planning on seeing this sequel right away, but after seeing it received a low rating on Rotten Tomatoes (11% out of 36 critics as of this writing, but even less when I checked a day or two ago) and that I still have a Cinemark gift card, I decided to go during bargain times! What can I say? I love when I like critically panned movies just as much as acclaimed movies (strange mentality, I know), so I went in hoping I would like it. Also, upon hearing of this sequel, it made me wonder how it could be effectively done considering the twist at the end of The Boy (I won’t reveal it in case you haven’t seen it). Speaking of that twist, I felt it was a bit of a letdown that ruined an otherwise pretty good movie. [By the way, there’s another movie called The Boy released in 2015 directed by Craig Macneill that I recommend!] So did this sequel (directed again by William Brent Bell) manage to be effective after the first film and did I end up being one of its few fans? Well…they did manage to make it work after the previous film’s twist and the revelations in this film made me dislike that twist just a little bit less (just a little bit), enough to maybe give it another viewing. And while this film may be largely flat, it does look good (much like its predecessor) and isn’t the worst sequel I’ve seen, let alone movie. That’s about as nice as I can get which is probably nicer than what many others would have to say. It was free too (for me) and not too long, so…2/25/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Hotel Mumbai >>>OK/G

Into the Dark: All That We Destroy >>>EH

(Hulu)

Into the Dark: I’m Just F*cking with You >>>G

(Hulu)

Rocketman >>>OK

---Sean O.
2/27/2020

Monday, February 24, 2020

The Lodge

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The Lodge OK

A lodge in the middle of nowhere during the winter in I’m guessing Massachusetts based on the license plates (at least set there). What a great location for a horror movie, no? Two kids that just lost their mother to a tragedy go stay at said lodge with their father’s new fiancé around Christmastime while he goes on a business trip. This new fiancé has a pretty shady history in which any movie, let alone reality, would tell you to steer clear from. There’s a twist towards the end, which isn’t even entirely shocking, that actually makes the film less effective, silly even despite still maintaining a very somber tone up until it ends. It’s a shame too because, in addition to anticipating it for a while now, I had high hopes for this film in which the location and atmosphere are superb and I actually liked where it was going before the twist. 2/21/2020

Bonus reviews:

Castle Rock: Season Two OK/G

Round 2 of this Hulu series taking place in the titular fictional town created by Stephen King. It is an anthology series, not show, meaning each season, not episode, involves a different story and different characters, much like American Horror Story or Channel Zero or True Detective. Therefore, you don’t necessarily have to see season one before this season, there being just a very few references to the first, but I would assume most people have OCD like me and wouldn’t want to watch part two of anything before part one. I did like the first season, enough to be my favorite TV show of 2018 (you can read my review in the archives at www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com and check out any yearly ‘best of’ list at www.bestworstarchive.blogspot.com). Stephen King is apparently only an executive producer for this series and didn’t write any of the episodes for either season (nor is either season based directly off any of his works). Without Mr. King’s fictional works though, this series would’ve never existed (like I mentioned in my review of season one). This season appeared to be a prequel of sorts to Misery being that it contained a younger, non-Kathy Bates version of Annie Wilkes from that story as one of the main characters, although I think the season overall was more of an homage to Salem’s Lot. There are no vampires, just souls possessing bodies, but King fans, or at least those that have seen or are familiar with that vampire tale, will understand my comparison. This season (containing ten episodes with the longest one being an hour and the shortest being 35 minutes) wasn’t as good as the last one, but is still decent enough to check out and I will definitely keep returning to any seasons made in the future. I never felt like I was forcing myself to continue with this season and that’s usually a good sign. 2/22/2020

Pen15: Season One G

Hulu series involving two girls starting 7^th grade in 2000. I was starting my senior year in 2000, but I vividly recalled some of the stuff featured here---Instant Messenger (AIM) being the social media before Myspace, Facebook, and such; VHS still being the only way to watch movies at home; landlines being the way to vocally communicate other than face-to-face before cell phones became big. [Speaking of 7^th grade and the title of this series…I remember being tricked by the “cool” kids, or popular more appropriately, to join the Pen15 club before realizing it spelled Penis after one of them wrote it on my hand. I hated 7^th grade and the majority of people in my class (not just in 7^th grade either)…whatever.] In typical visual teen entertainment, the two main characters, Anna and Maya, are much older than 7^th graders, allegedly playing versions of their younger selves (and somewhat passing as looking much younger than their actual age), but the rest of the 7^th graders looked like they were actually that age. I felt it could’ve been more raw aside from certain instances like Maya being voted UGIS (watch and you’ll know what that stands for) or when those girls were real mean at the dance in the last episode, but this generally fun ten-episode series (all under 30 minutes) does get a lot of stuff right and was better than many a recent teen film/show without ever really feeling like it was overstaying its welcome. 2/22/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Dora and the Lost City of Gold >>>EH/OK

Into the Dark: Down >>>OK

(Hulu)

Into the Dark: Flesh & Blood >>>EH/OK

(Hulu)

Into the Dark: New Year, New You >>>OK/G

(Hulu)

Into the Dark: Pooka >>>EH/OK

(Hulu)

Into the Dark: Treehouse >>>EH

(Hulu)

Little Monsters (2019) >>>OK/G

Teorema >>>B

Villains >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.
2/24/2020

Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Wounds

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Wounds OK/G

Having recently read the short story, “The Visible Filth,” in Nathan Ballingrud’s collection, Wounds: Six Stories from the Border of Hell, I wanted to watch this film based off of it. I was interested in checking out that collection upon reading a review for it Rue Morgue Magazine (putting it on my ‘to-read’ list) and even more so after seeing it voted one of the best books of 2019 in said magazine (finally enabling me to check it out). “The Visible Filth” happened to be my favorite story (out of 6) in Wounds and this adaptation is pretty much 100% faithful to it. Back in the day, I likely would’ve praised it for being so faithful, but now it makes me question what the point would be to watch a film adaptation in which you know what’s coming (vice versa for those that read after watching). Now, did I like it, the movie and/or book (just because I said it was my favorite story in the collection doesn’t mean I liked it)? Well, since the film was largely faithful to the story, I pretty much felt the same way about both. I did like them, for the most part, but still felt both were missing more to the story. As for what I should tell anyone reading this? If you are more of a reader, read the story in the aforementioned collection. If you are more of a watcher, watch this movie. If you like to do both like me, I would suggest reading the story first to avoid having the film’s visuals in mind (especially since they’re both identical), but do what you see fit. Regardless of which source you do decide to go with though, don’t expect any easy answers regarding the twisted (as fuck) ending. 2/17/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Blanketyy >>>B

(short film; Shudder)

Into the Dark: The Body >>>OK/G

(Hulu)

Seoul Station >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.
2/18/2020

Sunday, February 16, 2020

Locke & Key: Season One

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Locke & Key: Season One OK/G

I do remember reading the comics in which this 10-episode Netflix series is based, but I can’t remember a damn thing from them. I do remember liking them enough to continue borrowing them from my local library though. According to Wikipedia, there are 6 collections with a total of 37 issues and I’m not even sure I read all 6. Since I forgot what I read in the comics, I basically went into this series blind. A family of four move from the West Coast to New England after a tragedy and discover several keys with different powers in the house they move in to (one can look inside your mind, one turns you into a ghost, one can start fires, etc.). I liked the characters and the setting (I want that mansion in the middle of the woods!) and loved the first couple episodes, but it unfortunately does lose steam somewhere in the middle and seemed to include a lot of filler during the last half. It’s a shame too because I really thought I was going to love this series judging on the first half. It is more fantasy than horror (although it gets dark at times) despite the comics being written by Joe Hill (Stephen King’s son, if you didn’t know by now) and there being references to the legendary [special effects guru] Tom Savini, who even makes a cameo (as does Mr. Hill). With said names involved, it makes me wonder why it wasn’t more of a horror series. Anyway, it is still a binge-able show (episodes ranging from 40 to 57 minutes), even though I was disappointed with the second half, and I would be willing to tune in for at least another season (preferably with less filler). 2/15/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Anna >>>OK

Catcalls >>>EH

(short film; Shudder)

Dust Devil >>>OK

Gwen >>>EH/OK

(Shudder)

---Sean O.

2/16/2020

Tuesday, February 11, 2020

Itsy Bitsy/The Death of Dick Long

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Itsy Bitsy OK/G

Confession: I’m not afraid of spiders as much as a large percentage of the population is. I mean, if I happened to be in an Arachnophobia scenario, of course I would be, situationally; or, if I happened to be near any deadly spiders in areas known to have them, that goes without saying, but as for seeing any kind of spider that’s likely harmless? Nah, they don’t bother me too much. Anyway, this creature feature is no Arachnophobia (the best spider movie I’ve seen); it features just one spider (main one more like it) that continually grows inside a house that a family of three just moved in to (yes, there is a reason for the spider’s appearance). The arachnid design appeared to be practical although it may have been both at times, I’m not sure, but they did a pretty swell job of making it look practical if CGI was involved; I’m sure someone with arachnophobia will be frightened regardless of how it looks. The movie itself wasn’t bad, as far as these particular creature features go, and the effects were decent (not excellent), but the ending felt tacked on and also seemed to suggest one possible scenario that might not have actually been what you thought. Not bad otherwise. 2/10/2020

The Death of Dick Long G

Alabama-set film in which two men try their hardest to cover up the death of the titular character. Once you do find out what happened to said titular character, it is deeply disturbing and I can see specific stereotypes being mentioned. The performances are surprisingly good; it felt like I was watching real people; for one thing, the characters were aware of pop culture. It may go on a bit longer than it should, but I still don’t recall ever not wanting to watch it and it’s likely a movie you won’t forget as much as you may want to. 2/10/2020

Bonus reviews:

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts: Season One OK/G

Ten-episode (20-plus minutes each) animated series available on Netflix set 200 years from now in which most humans live underground (in burrows) and mutated animals with the ability to talk (amongst other things) live aboveground. This would only work in animated form; it is quirky, generally fun, satisfactorily animated, and definitely unique (the only thing that came to mind thematically was Planet of the Apes, but this was its own beast). Raving bees, driving frogs, snake musicians, rapping wolves (I sensed a Wu-Tang influence), and exercising raccoons are just some of the characters you’ll meet. As unique and adventurous it may be though, it did sort of start to overstay its welcome towards the end and I never felt the urge to binge the series (as short as the episodes are), even taking breaks for days in between, and that’s usually not the best sign. Judging from the end of the last episode, it seems a second season might be in the works and I really don’t think it needs to go on anymore. Still, if you’re looking for a different, progressive too (there’s a gay character), kind of post-apocalyptic tale to invest in that the entire family can enjoy, why not give it a whirl? 2/10/2020

The Whistler G

(haiku review)

Eleven minutes.

Atmospheric fairy tale.

Wish it was longer. 2/8/2020

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Girls Nite Out >>>OK

Like Me >>>EH

Mikey >>>OK/G

Neil Gaiman’s Likely Stories >>>EH

(Shudder)

Night School (1981) >>>OK/G

Prey (2019) >>>EH/OK

The Stranger: Season One >>>OK/G

(Netflix)

Where’d You Go, Bernadette >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.
2/11/2020

Thursday, February 6, 2020

Doctor Sleep

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Doctor Sleep OK

Direct sequel to Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining made almost four decades later. Stephen King, the author of this and its predecessor, has been very vocal about his dissatisfaction with Kubrick’s adaptation but apparently did like the 1997 TV movie remake. I do remember liking that remake enough, but I love Stanley Kubrick’s version. I did read the book too and remember it being different, as many King adaptations and their sources tend to be. I didn’t read this book, even though I do own it (no excuse), but there’s actually a few (not many) King books I never got around to reading despite owning them; therefore, I had nothing to compare to while watching this. It is different than The Shining instead of feeling like a remake/reboot/whatever, and does contain King trademarks (multiple characters from different locations that are all connected somehow), but it still had the feel of a TV movie (not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with that either, but this was theatrically released). It was decent for a sequel (regardless of being based on an actual novel), especially since it was made almost 40 years later (as I said), and it didn’t seem like it was actually 2 ½ hours, but I can’t say I was entirely impressed. 2/4/2020

Bonus review:

The Gallows Act II B

The Gallows (2015) was a much maligned film, having received only 1 out of 5 stars on All Movie and 15% out of 114 critics on Rotten Tomatoes, even being voted the worst film of that year in Rue Morgue Magazine, but I actually didn’t think it was that bad. No, it wasn’t great, but it had a lot of atmosphere going for it; I mean, an empty high school at night? Kind of a creepy setting, no? It also kind of, sort of reminded me of a “Goosebumps” story (Phantom of the Auditorium). For those of you that hated the first one, I think you might have a little more respect for it after this drivel of a sequel that rightfully received 0% out of just 13 critics on Rotten Tomatoes. The victim/villain (Charlie) does return here as well as the same directing duo, but this film is an entirely different beast than the first, a much worse beast if I haven’t made that clear. It doesn’t get good until the very end, but even that kind of negated everything that came before it. I am willing to give an Act III a chance if it’s much better than this Act. I hated this movie…if I haven’t made that clear. 2/5/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Abominable (2019) >>>OK/G

Bad Moon >>>OK

The House That Dripped Blood >>>G

Nothing Bad Can Happen >>>OK/G

---Sean O.
2/6/2020

Saturday, February 1, 2020

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina: Part 3

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Chilling Adventures of Sabrina: Part 3 OK/G

“… Given how much I disliked this season, it’s going to take much convincing and several review readings (something I try to avoid as much as possible beforehand) to make me tune in the next round…”

That statement above was part of my review for the second season (or part, whatever) of this dark teen series available on Netflix (you can read the entire review in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com). Well, I didn’t take any convincing or read any reviews before watching this part/season and, instead, let my curiosity and OCD get the better of me, in addition to the end of part/season 2 promising a better storyline (as all endings for TV shows and movie franchises tend to do). For those that haven’t yet watched this series and have a hesitant desire to, let it be known that I can’t remember a damn thing from part/season 2 even after reading each episode’s description on Wikipedia, so I say just skip part/season 2 and let “Sabrina” herself (Kiernan Shipka) give you a rundown of what happened before this part/season’s first episode (2 minutes as opposed to roughly 9 hours, you’re welcome!). I can’t say I’m entirely enamored with this show, but I “like” it…I guess. With the exception of part/season 2, I think it’s a little better than okay, put it that way. I think the first part/season is the best so far, minus the first episode (you can also read my review for that part/season in the archives), but this part/season comes close; it was infinitely better than the last part/season, that’s for sure. It consists of eight one-hour (give or take) episodes and they sometimes do actually feel that long (an hour an episode for a TV show is quite lengthy after all), but they are generally entertaining too (I don’t remember being bored too many times). As of now, there is a fourth part/season planned with no air date yet. Sure…yeah, I think I’ll tune in for it; this part/season definitely made me a little more interested in the series again. 1/31/2020

Bonus review:

One Cut of the Dead OK

I heard from more than one source that this Japanese film was a unique zombie movie, or at least a good one, I’m not sure, so I looked forward to watching it (being that “unique zombie movie” is basically an oxymoron anymore). [POTENTIAL SPOILERS AHEAD] Well, it’s technically not a zombie movie; just a zombie movie within a movie. Meaning, the majority of this film is a behind-the-scenes look at the making of the roughly half-hour zombie film you thought was the real film in the beginning. Normally I like to choose whether I want to see the making of a film on a DVD/Blu-ray extra (and depending on the length of the feature, I usually pass). Don’t get me wrong, it was very creative in showing how everything was accomplished in the film-within-the-film (which was as standard as zombies movies come), but it just wasn’t what I expected before watching. Instead of thinking I spoiled it for you, perhaps think of it as making you go in with a different expectation so as to avoid disappointment like me (although I appear to be alone since it received 100% on Rotten Tomatoes out of 83 critics). 2/1/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Bliss >>>OK/G

Ever After (Endzeit) >>>EH/OK

Hagazussa >>>B

---Sean O.
2/1/2020

Thursday, January 30, 2020

Parasite

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Parasite G

Not only was I interested in seeing this Korean film because it’s one of the nine nominated for this year’s best picture Oscar, but also that its director (Bong Joon-ho) also helmed the creature feature, The Host, which I was a big fan of (he also made Snowpiercer for those unaware). Being that it’s a Korean film, yes, there are subtitles for those not fluent in Korean. It’s basically about the haves and the have-nots, which could be a universal theme, and the initial premise is actually quite silly despite having a tone that’s not so silly. A family of four, down on their luck with both parents unemployed, present themselves as unrelated when applying for jobs at a rich family’s house in which the son was introduced to via a friend. [Makes you understand why there’re extensive background checks to get jobs these days]. Being that it was a little over 2 hours, I knew there had to be more to it than just that simple premise and more to it there is before concluding quite brutally. I’ve seen three of the other contenders for best picture---I hated The Irishman, Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood was the first film of Quentin’s I wasn’t a fan of, and I did like Joker---and I have no interest in the others besides Jojo Rabbit and 1917. Therefore, judging on the ones I have seen, I wouldn’t be disappointed if this or Joker took the prize even though odds don’t seem to be in either of their favor, but you never know (*cough* Crash in 2005 *cough*). It does make me wonder though how high of a standard this movie would’ve held up to had it not been nominated and praised, like any other time I suppose, but I don’t recall the very relevant topic being presented in such a way before and I’m surprised you don’t hear about similar instances more often (especially these days). It certainly made for an intriguing tale. 1/29/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Black and Blue >>>OK

Deadly Games >>>OK

(a.k.a. Dial Code Santa Claus, a.k.a. Game Over)

Encounter >>>EH/OK

I See You >>>OK

Knife + Heart >>>EH/OK

The Marshes >>>EH

(Shudder)

Motherless Brooklyn >>>EH

---Sean O.
1/30/2020

Saturday, January 25, 2020

The Addams Family/It's Here

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The Addams Family OK/G

I wasn’t 100% enthused to see this due to being another tie-in and that the animation looked too modern (meaning “crappy” in my eyes). Yes, the animation was very modern, but this update featuring the “creepy, kooky, mysterious, spooky, and altogether ooky” family actually wasn’t that bad. I noticed more homages to Tim Burton films than anything else, although it definitely didn’t look Burtonesque (again, the modern animation), such as Edward Scissorhands, Beetlejuice, Frankenweenie, and even a slight nod to Sleepy Hollow, but it all somehow seemed to work as opposed to ripping any of it off. The message of overcoming differences and realizing everyone can coexist is definitely stale but will never be irrelevant as long as we are all different and differences are what make us unique (blah, blah, blah, although a very true statement). It’s definitely not a perfect film, too silly at times for me, but a lot better than I thought it would be. 1/24/2020

It’s Here OK

Look up the synopsis for this film on (say) www.videoeta.com and you’ll get this description: “…This clown-themed anthology features some of the most frightening shorts ever made…When clowns come to town, smiles turn upside down in this fright-fest…” Notice the words “clown-themed” and “clowns?” You’ll also notice, when you look up the movie on that aforementioned website, that the cover features a clown on it. Upon hearing of this film, I was in because I love horror movies, I love anthology films, and I love evil clowns. Well, it is an anthology film and a horror film, but clowns aren’t involved 100% of the time. Pardon my language (whatever), but I fucking hate false fucking advertising! Clowns do appear though and the appearance of a Creepshow 2 poster suggests the filmmakers understand what makes a good anthology film. It begins with a tale that doesn’t involve clowns, but was fine-ish on its own, before one featuring a mime that actually ends up being a bit creative. If you’ve seen evil clown movies before, the segment in which a babysitter finds out the owner doesn’t own a creepy life-size clown will be old news by now, but the clown itself is really creepy (for coulrophobes), making it watchable (for evil clown lovers). Then there’s a visually fascinating snippet of a clown putting makeup on before something happens to him. Another one, the one featuring the Creepshow 2 poster, had a Ring-ish vibe to it and was largely underdeveloped (I’m not sure if the demon was supposed to be a clown or not either). One tale about a skeptical radio host receiving calls from certain people was generally compelling, but there was no clown! That was followed by another decent vignette which began as a creature feature and ended as a different one, but clowns weren’t involved! At the very end, there’s a clip featuring two clowns running from something only to end up in a fateful situation. So, like I said, there are clowns here but not in all the tales and the segments collectively, for the most part, are passable, I guess…you could do worse. I’m still pissed I was promised a “clown-themed anthology” and not all the tales involved clowns though! Currently available on Tubi (free TV for those unaware) and barely over an hour. 1/24/2020

Bonus review:

Countdown OK

(haiku review)

App gives time of death.

Final Destination clone?

Kind of, but not quite. 1/24/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Sweetheart >>>OK

(Netflix)

*(I actually saw this almost a month ago but forgot to include it 2 blogs ago...)*

Thursday, January 23, 2020

Creepshow: Season One/Jay and Silent Bob Reboot

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Creepshow: Season One G/VG

I used another promo code for Shudder mainly to watch this anthology series, among other things, and I liked it, I liked it, I liked it! I’m a big fan of the films Creepshow and Creepshow 2, more so of the latter due to being the first one I saw and liking all the segments. Creepshow 3? Let’s just forget about that one, shall we? This series consists of 6 episodes containing 2 segments each, making it a total of 12 20-plus minute stories, and it combines the best elements of other great anthology shows like Tales from the Crypt, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, Tales from the Darkside, etc. Of the 12 pieces, I really only didn’t care for 2; one (“Lydia Layne’s Better Half”) was just lame and the other (“The Finger”) was a tad silly with a stop-motion creature that looked almost as bad as if it were CGI (it wasn’t though and that’s another aspect I loved about this series---the practical effects; a faithful nod to the first two movies!). I didn’t completely detest either episode though; both were bloody, and the creature’s overall design up-close in “The Finger” was noteworthy. “The House of the Head” was definitely unique in involving a haunted dollhouse. The only other time I recall a haunted dollhouse was the Are You Afraid of the Dark? episode, “The Tale of the Dollmaker,” but “Head” isn’t quite like that; both are novel in their own way, especially here. “Bad Wolf Down” may be the best werewolf story I’ve seen in quite a while; maybe the best war story as well given it was both. “The Companion” seemed like a unique take, at least visually, for the scarecrow subgenre, “Times is Tough in Musky Holler” took a different approach to the zombie subgenre (although that may sound hard to believe), and “Night of the Paw” was still compelling despite being told countless times (paw, three wishes, be careful what you wish for, etc.) and had a somewhat creepy ending. “All Hallows Eve” was a fun revenge tale set on Halloween night, and “By the Silver Water of Lake Champlain,” directed by the legendary Tom Savini, was made slightly better than the generally lacking short story by Joe Hill and definitely felt more fit for the screen than page. The rest---a gory creature feature (“Skincrawlers”), a very different Aladdin-ish tale (“The Man in the Suitcase”), and the Stephen King-based “Gray Matter”---were worth watching as well. I recommend this series not just for fans of the movies, but for fans of horror and anthology entertainment as well (which this series proved there’s still life in). Bring on more seasons! 1/20/2020

Jay and Silent Bob Reboot EH

Being that characters in this film ripped on reboots and remakes, there is a difference that’s sort of explained here, I thought this would’ve actually been better than the average reboot (it may seem like a remake of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back at times, but it is more or less a reboot…I guess). Being that it was also Kevin Smith at the helm of a film featuring his once beloved titular characters, I thought it would be a much better film than this. I did laugh a couple times, yes, but I hate to say that I ultimately hated this movie. I would say sorry Kevin Smith, one of my favorite directors once upon a time and also one of the directors that once made me, myself, aspire to make films, but you made this movie and luckily I only wasted time since I used a free Redbox code. No, I don’t regret watching it though because I wanted to watch it and never would’ve let myself not watch it. Some part of me, being that I was watching a film containing characters I’m very familiar with by a filmmaker I was once enthralled by, wanted to keep watching, but a big part of me thinks that had this been the same film with people I wasn’t so crazy about, it might’ve been the worst movie of 2019. This film was way too self-referential for me, making it wholly unoriginal and the script made Kevin Smith seem infinitely more uneducated now than he ever was over 20 years ago! I think being in Hollywood for too long made his pre-Hollywood property too Hollywood if this film is any indication. I’m still going to think that somewhere in this universe (the real) Kevin Smith stopped making movies after Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, with the exception of Clerks II, but maybe I’ll still hold a bit of hope that one day he will rightfully return. I miss him…1/21/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The Furies >>>OK

(Shudder)

Luz >>>OK

Party Hard, Die Young >>>EH

Tammy and the T-Rex >>>OK

Tigers Are Not Afraid >>>G

(Shudder)

---Sean O.
1/23/2020

Saturday, January 18, 2020

7 Reviews, 17 Ratings

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This entry will be an exception to the above statement since its been longer than usual since my last entry (almost a month; 26 days to be exact), and that was mainly due to waiting for my one computer with lots of my saved stuff on it to be hooked up. Hopefully it won't be as long until the next entry from now on. Anyway, I'm back. Enjoy, or not....

Another Wolf Cop EH/OK

I think Wolf Cop is one word with the “C” still capitalized, but whatever. Leo Fafard returns as the titular being in addition to some of the same cast members, and the same director of the first is behind this sequel. I did enjoy Wolf Cop; it was a flawed yet fun horror-comedy with more emphasis on the comedy. This one had its moments, particularly in the beginning and end when the lycanthropic officer doles out some bloody violence, but it was a bit too silly this time, ultimately suffering from sequel-itis; not even an appearance from Kevin Smith worked. It wasn’t quite silly in the vein of Teen Wolf; well, they’re both silly in different ways, I just don’t remember the Michael J. Fox film being gory or containing any other creatures. It also felt slightly inconclusive before the end credits revealed Wolf Cop will return. I hate to say it, but I don’t think we need another Wolf Cop; I don’t think we even needed this one. 1/13/2020

Boar OK/G

This Shudder exclusive, also available on DVD, bears a title needing no explanation and delivers pretty much what you’d expect. It’ll likely draw comparisons to Razorback, another Australian movie featuring a killer wild pig. I haven’t seen that film in quite a while even though I do actually own it, so I, myself, can’t yet tell you how similar they might actually be. One thing I will commend this film on, considering it was made in 2019, is the use of practical effects for the creature and pretty impressive at that. A few parts looked like CGI was utilized and you could obviously tell it was never a real animal, but I will absolutely take unrealistic practical effects over CGI any day! The critic in me would’ve liked to know how this boar came to be gigantic and murderous (it was just labeled “diseased” at one point) and the film sure felt like a formulaic slasher movie since we as an audience knew when and where someone was likely going to be attacked, but, like I said above, what do you really expect from a movie called Boar other than the titular creature killing people? It is rather gory too. It’s an enjoyable creature feature for a decent amount of the time despite its flaws. 1/11/2020

Dracula: Season One G

This Netflix series consists of three episodes roughly 90 minutes each, so it could either be viewed as three separate movies or as one 4 ½ hour film, however you see fit. Now, I haven’t seen every single film containing the titular count, not even close, but I’ve seen and read my fair share of vampire entertainment to be familiar with the subgenre. I’ve also never read the famous Bram Stoker novel so I couldn’t tell you if this adaptation is faithful or not. I heard that it is, at least for the first two episodes; obviously the third one wasn’t based on the novel since it took place in modern times. Ironically, I liked the first two episodes better than the third (it felt too modern for this story if that makes sense; almost like a sequel made many years after the first two episodes/”movies”); I didn’t loathe the last episode though and I thought it ended just right (fitting for a traditional gothic tale one could say). I wasn’t completely enamored with this series in general, but I enjoyed it enough; the performances are worthy, it looked slick for a BBC production, and it’s violent when it wants to be. Overall it’s a decent vampire tale based on “classic” literature (subjective label, yes). 1/12/2020

Girl on the Third Floor G

This at first appeared to be like one of those shows where someone completely renovates a house, but it still held my interest knowing it was a horror movie I was watching. At one time I was reminded of a certain animated movie released in the 2000s that I don’t want to reveal in case of spoilers. It is essentially a haunted house movie containing a gradually disclosed history and, while not perfect, is more intriguing than not and bears that “maybe I’ll pick up more during repeat viewings” quality. There was one part that actually made me cringe a bit too, although I felt somewhat jubilant afterwards. Mild recommendation, or medium maybe (like I suggested, my opinion might change if I watch it again). 1/11/2020

I Trapped the Devil OK/G

I wanted to watch a new Christmas movie (it does take place around the holiday) and I wanted to see this film, so I paid to watch it via Vudu on Christmas Eve. This film involving a man proclaiming to have trapped (wanna guess…) the devil behind a door in his basement before his brother and wife show up unannounced is infinitely more style than substance. I would rate the atmosphere alone as VG. However, I don’t think it was entirely able to sustain itself as a feature-length film despite being short. The whole mystery of the film is wondering if we’ll get to see what’s behind that door in which we only hear a deep voice speaking and no one likes to feel cheated, so I don’t think I’m spoiling anything by saying you do find out who or what is behind that door and it isn’t necessarily disappointing considering it felt right in regards to the overall narrative and mythology. 1/10/2020

The Twilight Zone: Season One EH/OK

You all should know by now (if you actually read and keep up with my reviews) that I love me some anthology films and TV. I will never get tired of or cease looking forward to watching short films or reading short stories. The brevity (a.k.a. not taking up too much time) and needlessness for sequential viewing/reading may be part of their appeal. Now, as much as I love The Twilight Zone, I admittedly haven’t seen every single episode of the original series or even the Eighties version (156 total for the former, 65 for the latter) and I own them both; apparently there was a series from 2002-2003 that somehow bypassed my radar, so I’ve seen zero of those 43 episodes (I Wikipedia’ed all this information). I figured since this latest 2019 version was only 10 episodes I’d binge them with a free week of CBS All Access. As with any anthology series (film or TV show), there’re apt to be misses as well as hits and, unfortunately, this version had more misses than hits. None were particularly spectacular, my favorites among the bunch being “A Traveler” and “Point of Origin,” the former an atmospheric Christmas tale set in Alaska (my birthplace), the latter sort of paralleling recent events while also staying true to the series in general. As for the rest? “The Comedian” was lame and the only one I saw when the series first aired because it was available on YouTube. The updated “Nightmare at 30,000 Feet” couldn’t hold a candle to the original; the ending may have been a bit dark, but the story didn’t work without a creature (which makes an appearance as a stuffed animal). “Replay” was undoubtedly as interesting as any “Butterfly Effect/go-back-in-time-to-change-the-present” film, but was ultimately a message movie about race. I’m more interested in representation than messages, whether pertaining to race, gender, sexuality, gender identity, etc., since the same ones (however important they may be) have basically become clichés after continuously being relayed. I couldn’t take “The Wunderkind” too seriously since it was reminiscent of outlandish family entertainment in which young kids hold authority over adults. Yes, being The Twilight Zone, all disbelief is supposed to be suspended, but I still felt this episode was too childish for the series. “Six Degrees of Freedom” was a space tale (not really a fan of those types of entertainment) where a group of people slowly go crazy on their way to Mars that ended just when I thought it was getting better. “Not All Men” wasn’t a bad infection tale involving a meteorite although very derivative (I was most reminded of Slither in plot, not effects) and obviously a metaphor for these Me Too times. “The Blue Scorpion” was pretty dumb, it involving a gun with a personality, and the final episode, “Blurryman,” was kind of decent aside from revealing we were actually watching a TV show the whole season; and there was a poor digital creation of a certain someone that made them look more belonging in The Polar Express. Again, it may not have been the best collection, but there were only ten and it’s very hard to be original anymore. There is a second season allegedly being released sometime this year and I will eventually check it out while trying not to keep my expectations too high. One thing they might benefit from though is making the episodes shorter (the original and Eighties ones were generally less than 30 minutes without the commercials; these ones ranged from 37 to 54 minutes). 1/16/2020

You: Season 2 G

I’ll admit to enjoying season one of this series that initially aired on Lifetime before becoming available on Netflix which this season premiered on right away. I never read any of the books by Caroline Kepnes, but my interest in checking out the first season happened as a result of reading about it in, I’m gonna say, Entertainment Weekly since that’s one of the only non-horror magazines I read regularly (and I don’t believe You would qualify enough to be covered in Rue Morgue or Fangoria, but feel free to prove me wrong). Watching it on Lifetime as I’ve said, I had to wait every week to see an episode (like the old days). It appeared to become more popular once it aired on Netflix and people could choose whether to binge it or not (which I imagine most Netflix viewers like to do, especially if engaged with a show). I liked being able to binge this season as, like the first season, it was undeniably addictive in making me want to continue although there’s really nothing truly distinctive about it (like most entertainment these days). The anti-hero (debatable description) serial killer from the first season, played by Penn Badgley, returns in a different location (California instead of New York) with a new obsession that isn’t quite like his last one (Beck). I thought the conclusion was a bit weaker than expected, but the episodes go by rather quickly and, much like last season, I somehow grew to like Penn’s character as well as some of the supporting ones. Well, I’ll be…I actually kinda do want to watch season three which is allegedly going to happen. 1/10/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Crown Vic >>>G

Crypto >>>EH

Dead Kids >>>EH/OK

Freaks (2019) >>>EH

Hell Comes to Frogtown >>>EH/OK

Joker >>>VG

A Kid Like Jake >>>OK/G

Killerman >>>EH

The Last Black Man in San Francisco >>>OK

The Lighthouse >>>EH

Low Tide >>>G

Luce >>>OK

Nekrotronic >>>EH

Paradise Hills >>>OK

Primal >>>EH/OK

78/52 >>>G

Wild Rose >>>OK

---Sean O.
1/18/2020