I Like Moobies

Friday, January 29, 2021

The Empty Man

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see. I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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The Empty Man G

I knew not this was based on a graphic novel until watching it and seeing it was based on one by Cullen Bunn, an artist I am familiar with. You want to know what’s even funnier? I actually own the first 6 issues of the comic after looking at my inventory list (yes, I have a list of every movie, reading material, and music I own---it definitely comes in handy, making my computer the one thing I would run into my house to retrieve if there was ever a fire; that way I’d know everything replaceable I lost). According to research, 6 issues (the ones I own) were released in 2014 and then another 8 were released between 2018 and 2019. I can’t remember a damn thing about the comics (obviously, if I couldn’t even remember I owned them), so I’m unsure how faithful this film may be, or whether it cribbed from the first 6, the last 8, or all 14, but I’m kind of glad I didn’t remember in order to view this film on its own terms, even though I’ve gradually gotten more lenient with book-to-film adaptations (and I might read the first 6 issues again whenever I feel like digging through my collection that is alphabetized, by the way; I do have a bit of OCD if you haven’t figured that out). Anyway, this film kind of reminded me of The Ring, although not as good, because it has that atmospheric investigative thriller aspect. It deals with an urban legend surrounding (you guessed it…) The Empty Man, a being that will eventually come after you for three days if you blow into an empty bottle on a bridge after dark. The story begins in Bhutan in 1995 before heading to Missouri in 2018 and you will learn the connection as obviously there will be one. The film is a bit all over the place, being over 2 hours at that, but it’s never exactly boring. It’s not a perfect film, and, even at its lengthy run-time, I still felt there might’ve been more left out (perhaps those comics might fill me in?), but it was intriguing enough for me to give it a mild recommendation. 1/26/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Best Friends Forever >>>OK

Bloody Hell >>>OK

Death of Me >>>EH

Parallel >>>B/EH

Sightless >>>OK/G

12 Hour Shift >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.

1/29/2021

Sunday, January 24, 2021

Synchronic

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Synchronic OK/G

The directing duo behind this, Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead, also gave us Resolution, Spring, The Endless, a segment of V/H/S: Viral, and the episode entitled “8” in the most recent season of The Twilight Zone. [My favorite film of theirs so far is Resolution, which ended up tying in with The Endless, a film that felt incomplete viewed on its own]. If you’ve seen any of those titles, particularly the first three mentioned, you can likely deduce the filmmakers dabble in the bizarre, but are compelling nonetheless. This newest film may be trippy at times, but is largely straightforward with nothing open-ended about it. In it, a paramedic from New Orleans decides to take a popular new drug on the streets called (wait for it…) Synchronic after learning he’s dying and to try finding his co-worker’s daughter who went missing after taking said drug. You see, this drug has the power to take you back to certain points in time that occurred at the exact location you take the drug at. You only have a certain amount of time in this drug-induced “time hop” to return to the same spot you took the drug in before being stuck there forever. Trust me, it all makes sense if you see it visually. While the concept is great, I felt it could’ve been expanded upon much greater. It is a decent film, yes, but I wasn’t entirely satisfied, and I felt it may have ended a bit too positively. Perhaps I’m just too picky. Or perhaps my expectations were too high. I don’t know. I’ll always be interested in what the directing duo puts out though (although I can’t believe they co-produced She Dies Tomorrow, which is not only the worst movie of 2020, but one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen!). Perhaps there will be a companion piece like Resolution and The Endless and I’m getting too far ahead of myself? 1/20/2021

Bonus review:

Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous (Season 2) OK

…I’m looking forward to the 6^th Jurassic Park movie or 3^rd Jurassic World movie (whatever it is), and I can honestly say I had fun with this series in the meantime. I did. The end suggested this could continue and I say, “Bring it!”…

Those were my final words for the review of the first season, which you can read in its entirety in the archives (www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com), and now here we are with season two of the animated spinoff available on Netflix. The same characters return with about three new ones added. It is eight episodes again, all but one being 24 minutes, the last one being 23 (the credits are always included in the total). The episodes do go by rather quickly again and there are a few suspenseful scenes, but I just didn’t have as much fun this time; this season ultimately felt like a cash grab. As of now, season three is not confirmed and it could very well happen considering this season didn’t completely end, and, if it does happen, I hope it’s better than this season. I can’t not continue considering how much a fan I am of the franchise. 1/23/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Getaway (2020; dir. Lane Toran) >>>OK

The Night They Knocked >>>OK

Spell >>>OK

---Sean O.

1/24/2021

Friday, January 15, 2021

Grizzly II: Revenge

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Grizzly II: Revenge B

Grizzly from 1976, while far from great and obviously attempted to be “Jaws on land,” is a decent natural horror film for those that enjoy such films. I mean, there’s some great scenery to look at, some effective bear POV shots, and it was probably bloody enough for the time, but the attack scenes weren’t exactly staged the best (by today’s standards, of course). Since it came out in the Seventies, there was no CGI used and they did an okay job of using real bears in addition to parts of practical ones (i.e. only seeing claws or feet instead of the whole thing, which was a wise decision based on what I say below). This indirect/in-name only sequel was filmed in 1983, but allegedly wasn’t released until recently (other titles besides Revenge were The Predator and The Concert). I wonder why since it probably would’ve sucked just as much back then. There were times I thought I was watching a nature documentary (whose scenes were likely filmed recently) and other times I thought I was watching a concert film (whose scenes were likely cribbed from actual footage, and hence one of the alternate titles). A man is shown shooting a bear cub during one of the “nature documentary” scenes in the beginning and mama bear (footage of a real bear) growls in response, thus causing her (not the real bear) to attack any human she comes in contact with (hence the ultimate title). Now, about that bear that isn’t the real one we saw in the beginning---if you think the bear attacks and the way they were staged in the first one weren’t the greatest, let me just say you won’t be complaining about how they were shot after seeing this one; Grizzly is a masterpiece next to this garbage of a sequel. I know I shouldn’t complain about practical effects being used, given how much I loathe CGI, but, come on, the bear used here wasn’t even minimally convincing (hell, the shark used in Jaws obviously wasn’t a real shark, but it worked and is still one of the best cinematic sharks to this day!). Not even three famous faces in the beginning (who don’t last long) or Louise Fletcher (most recognizable as Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and the unloving grandmother in Flowers in the Attic), who plays a woman concerned more about profit (that aforementioned concert) than people supposedly being killed by a bear in the woods (common trait for such films), could save this unnecessary sequel that should’ve stayed unreleased. If I haven’t made myself clear, I hated this movie! 1/13/2021

Bonus review:

I Am Lisa OK

This is the first time I recall seeing a movie that’s both a revenge film and a werewolf film. The werewolf doesn’t look like the ones in The Howling or Dog Soldiers, but more of a crossbreed, a human with lycanthropic features (i.e. claws, fangs, and inhuman eyes) and it is explained why. A girl named (you guessed it…) Lisa returns to a small town after her grandmother passes and leaves her a used bookstore. After she’s attacked by some townsfolk (all but one are women, so sisterhood doesn’t apply here feminists!) and taken to the woods, she’s bitten by a creature (looking more like a regular wolf) and vows revenge against all her attackers while in the midst of her transformation. Now, while this film does involve lycanthropy of sorts, it is more of a revenge film, meaning a formulaic body count film wherein none of the kills are particularly noteworthy. I feel like I’m being a bit lenient with my rating, but I did grow quite fond of the Lisa character and wouldn’t mind seeing her in a better movie. I truly wish I liked this better given there aren’t too many werewolf films out there, good ones at least, plus revenge films aren’t too distinctive on their own, so this should’ve been perfect for a genre mash-up. Oh well…1/13/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Blood and Money >>>EH/OK

Dead Dicks >>>OK/G

Echo Boomers >>>OK

Freaky Friday (2018) >>>EH

Greener Grass >>>B

Spirit Camp >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.

1/15/2021

Sunday, January 10, 2021

The Craft: Legacy

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The Craft: Legacy OK

The Craft was my first R-rated movie I remember seeing in the theater, so it will always be “special” to me. The movie itself, while not great, is a fun Nineties teen horror film involving witches. While this sequel (NOT a remake or reimagining) released over 20 years later also involves teen witches, it felt a bit different from its predecessor. For one, it’s rated PG-13, and not everyone is heterosexual or cisgender (I can attest to the Nineties still being a very heteronormative time period; the transgender character here I would not have known was one unless mentioned and luckily she was actually performed by a trans actress). And whereas The Craft was an “after school special” teen film that got quite serious at the end, this sequel has an “after school special” vibe that gets a bit serious at the end yet still doesn’t particularly border on horror. There is a connection to the first film that isn’t revealed until the end (although the connection is expected after a certain tidbit is disclosed), so one not necessarily need to see the predecessor, but only those that have seen it will understand said connection (in addition to a specific phrase repeated). Plus, like always, why would you care to see a sequel to a film you haven’t seen even if there was no direct connection? I understand this sequel, as well as most sequels, had a lot to live up to considering the first film became somewhat of a cult hit. I wouldn’t go so far as to say this was an unnecessary sequel, but it wasn’t as fun or as dark as the first one which I didn’t think was a masterpiece to begin with. I will say it has been a while since I recall seeing a teen movie realistically depict teenagers being teenagers quite well though (I don’t think bullying will ever truly end, unfortunately, as long as there’re schools and people); the beginning contains a scene that kind of reminded me of the beginning of Carrie and you’ll understand my comparison if you see it. Legacy is okay for a sequel released almost ¼ of a century later, just okay, nothing even an ounce more, much like the average “after school special.” 1/6/2021

Bonus review:

Wolfwalkers OK/G

(haiku review)

Crisp animation.

It’s hand-drawn distinctively.

Stale-ish story though. 1/8/2021

*[Irish film available on Apple+]*

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Cut Throat City >>>EH

Fear Pharm >>>OK

She Dies Tomorrow >>>VB

(One of the worst movies I’ve ever seen!)

Spiral (2020) >>>OK/G

(Shudder)

---Sean O.

1/10/2021

Tuesday, January 5, 2021

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Part 4)

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Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Part 4) OK/G

I made it this far and this is seemingly the final season (although that’s what they say now) of this slightly dark variation concerning the teenage witch (played by Kiernan Shipka). I wasn’t going to rewatch all three previous seasons before this, so I just read the synopsis for each episode on Wikipedia; plus there’s a recap of season three before the first episode, so I’m guessing what’s shown in that recap is obviously the most important. With the exception of season two (or part, as seasons are labeled for this Netflix series), this series was fine enough for me (you can read my reviews of the first three seasons/parts in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com); not fine in the sense I’ll buy a t-shirt, poster, or any other memorabilia promoting the show, or join a Facebook group devoted to it, but fine in the sense I enjoyed enough of it to kind of recommend and the only time I’ll ever discuss it is if mentioned. I did watch all four seasons/parts after all and the only time I truly felt like I forced myself to continue was during season/part 2. This part consisted of eight episodes, each one involving an Eldritch terror with plans on destroying anyone and everything, not just this fictional town of Greendale and its inhabitants. That did make things a bit interesting in having a different terror each episode, but the episodes are all roughly an hour (like the other seasons/parts) and sometimes they actually feel so (TV episodes should rarely ever be an hour a piece unless it’s an anthology show). Like I said though, I never really felt like I forced myself to continue after each episode. If they do actually decide to end it here, and I think they should (lest it overstay its mild welcome), I think it concluded fair enough, some might even say a bit poignantly. 1/2/2021

Bonus reviews:

Shortcut OK

A handful of teenagers are riding on a bus in the countryside before being hijacked by an escaped prisoner with a gun after the driver takes a (you guessed it…) shortcut. [It’s an Italian film, but the accents say it might be England or Scotland or somewhere in that region; it’s not really important wherever it takes place though]. The prisoner is the least of their worries when they eventually come across a creature that resembles an alien vampire (imagine a distorted version of the vampire in The Night Flier, an underrated Stephen King adaptation AND vampire movie). Comparisons to Jeepers Creepers 2 are inevitable at first (I saw at least one Rotten Tomatoes reviewer mention it), but the action eventually exits the bus as the characters escape to an underground facility nearby. The first half of this film seemed promising; the second half is where it loses steam and gets a bit lame. I didn’t dislike this film, it was okay (hence my rating), it just wasn’t ultimately as fun as other creature features of yesteryear. 1/4/2021

House of Purgatory OK/G

Somehow this film from 2016 bypassed my radar. It’s not available on Netflix and it couldn’t have been available at Redbox because I likely would’ve at least used a free code to rent it, even if it sounded like a run-of-the-mill direct-to-video title (which this one does). I came across it after seeing a post on a page I follow on social media, as is often the case for titles I’m unaware of, and saw that it was available on Tubi (meaning free), so viewing it I did. In it, a small group of people on Halloween decide to drive to a haunted house that promises money for each level completed. There’s certainly something shady about this place, as is often the case in these movies. For one, they seem to be the only car at the place on Halloween night (uh-huh) and the admission is free since it’s Halloween night (uh-huh). Once inside, the deepest secrets are revealed to each person and none of them are original at all, but this movie somehow managed to keep my attention during its barely 75-minute runtime. Not a great film by any measure, but I sure enjoyed it more than many other films that didn’t bypass my radar! 1/4/2021

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Alone (2020) >>>EH/OK

The Call (2020) >>>EH/OK

(dir. Timothy Woodward Jr.)

Koko-di Koko-da >>>EH

Love and Monsters >>>OK/G

Open Grave >>>EH/OK

The Platform >>>OK/G

(Netflix)

---Sean O.

1/5/2021

Sunday, December 27, 2020

Soul

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Soul G/VG

Welcome back, Pixar! The last movie I really liked from the studio was Inside Out from 2015 and before that it was Toy Story 3 from 2010. Yes, I have liked some entries in between, but none I can call great. Besides the two I mentioned, Pixar’s best include Toy Story, Toy Story 2, Monsters, Inc., Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, and Ratatouille. It might be premature to say so, but I think this latest offering could be added to that list. It is currently available on Disney+ for no additional cost. In it, a middle-aged music teacher ends up heading towards “The Great Beyond” after an accident, but somehow evades it and ends up in “The Great Before”---a place where “souls” are given personalities before entering Earth. All the teacher, who desires being a musician above all, wants is another chance at a life he feels was unfulfilled and somewhat gets that chance while learning more along the way (as characters in these films often do). This film is amazing to behold at times, imaginative at that, and manages to be thoroughly entertaining (with representation to boot); it’s funny sometimes too. The ultimate message may go over the younger set’s heads, but they can absolutely still watch it while their parents/elders can enjoy it as well (as this is arguably more for the adults). Come awards season, I won’t be surprised if this snags a few wins (maybe even disappointed if otherwise). 12/26/2020

Bonus review:

Making and Unmaking

Shaun Rose reached out to me a while ago on social media about checking out his film, Upstate Story, and writing a review for it (you can check it out in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com). We have since become friends on social media, which is where I was informed of this new documentary available on YouTube (as is Upstate Story; links provided below). I’m always asked via social media to review films and am usually up to the task, but I often don’t like the films I’m asked to watch and I always tell the filmmaker(s) I’ll be completely honest before going through with it. Upstate Story was one I actually liked, it being an entertaining slice-of-life/realist picture that I feel deserved more exposure. I do suggest you watch Upstate Story (and hopefully you’ll like it) before checking this out, not only because it references that film a bit, but also because why would you care about seeing a documentary on an independent filmmaker you know nothing about? This makes a good companion piece to that film, both being roughly an hour, making it a 2-hour double feature, and I’m sure you’ve wasted the same amount of time (or more) watching worse. It chronicles mostly the endurance of making Upstate Story as well as other projects the multi-hyphenate Shaun, who exhibits the demeanor of a serious filmmaker while also having a sense of humor, worked on to no avail. Mr. Rose, I have a feeling you could be on to bigger and greater things with the right budget and/or distributor. In the meantime, you all can possibly help make that happen by checking out his two films and spreading the word! 12/20/2020

Upstate Story: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_klJBcnORZo]

Making and Unmaking: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRKftjb-jKM]

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The Call (2020) >>>OK

(Netflix; In Korean with subtitles)

The Haunting of Margam Castle >>>B

Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey >>>EH/OK

(Netflix)

The Midnight Sky >>>EH

(Netflix)

---Sean O.

12/27/2020

Saturday, December 19, 2020

Possessor

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Possessor OK/G

Brandon Cronenberg’s daddy, David Cronenberg, is a renowned Canadian filmmaker that gave us films like Shivers, Rabid, The Brood, Scanners, The Dead Zone, The Fly, and even ones like Spider, A History of Violence, and Eastern Promises. I can’t say I’m the biggest fan of David, but I’ve seen enough of his work and liked some of them. Brandon gave us Antiviral before this one. I wasn’t a fan of that film, enough for it to land on my worst films list the year it came out. This sophomore feature from Brandon, in a nutshell, involves a company that allows you, via technology of some sort, to literally become someone else in order to assassinate a specific target. After the task is completed, the “possessor” is able to return back to their body attached to machinery. Naturally, things don’t go smoothly for one task and that complicates everything. This is an intriguing film, for sure, violent too, but it might be perplexing as well for likely a large percentage of the viewing population (I read up on it afterwards and actually grasped most of what I saw), and I feel there may be more to this world than we were presented with because it didn’t seem entirely over when it ended. That’s why I can’t fully recommend it, or at least give it a strictly G rating, because I kind of do recommend it in a sense (it’s a whole lot better than Brandon’s debut feature, that’s for sure). I would actually welcome a sequel in order to make it possibly feel more part of a whole. Or perhaps I just need another viewing? I’m willing to hear any opinions (I already read enough mostly objective articles in publications). 12/17/2020

Bonus review:

Blood from Stone EH/OK

(haiku review)

Vamps in Las Vegas.

They meet people, then kill them.

Bloody, sure, but lame. 12/17/2020

*Currently available on Amazon Prime and Tubi*

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Christmas Crossfire >>>EH

(Netflix; In German with subtitles)

The Christmas Project >>>OK

A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish >>>EH/OK

Holiday Hell >>>OK

Radioflash >>>OK

Widow’s Point >>>OK

---Sean O.

12/19/2020

Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Fatman

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Fatman OK

Mel Gibson as Santa Claus? It’s not quite like a Santa Claus you would expect though. For starters, he lives in a town called North Peak (not Pole), works with the military, and can’t afford to pay his power bill. A hitman, played by Walton Goggins (Vice Principals), is hired by a spoiled rich kid to take the “fat man” out. The film did start off a bit promising, but it doesn’t really entail much and doesn’t altogether feel like a “holiday” film even though it is. 12/13/2020

Bonus reviews:

Max Winslow and the House of Secrets OK/G

Five teenagers from a high school in Arkansas are chosen to play a game in a “futuristic” mansion and the winner gets the mansion. It may sound a bit like Willy Wonka/Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but not quite. The house does have a mind of its own, not in the haunted sense, but in the technological/I-control-everything sense. The five players must overcome certain “obstacles” in regards to why they were all chosen in the first place. It may have been a bit of fun, but it could’ve gone to darker places than it did (although it is only rated-PG), and, ultimately, it ended a bit too sappily (meaning positively and/or clichéd) for my tastes; of course taste is subjective and mine differ from many others though. 12/13/2020

Bobbleheads: The Movie OK

(haiku review)

Not quite Toy Story.

Obviously wants to be.

It’s fine though…I guess. 12/10/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Clownface >>>B

Don’t Let Them In >>>EH

Just Another Christmas >>>OK/G

(Netflix; In Brazilian Portuguese with subtitles)

Noelle (2019) >>>OK

Rabbit (2018) >>>EH/OK

Smiley Face Killers >>>EH

---Sean O.

12/15/2020

Sunday, December 6, 2020

Deathcember

Deathcember OK

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again---I love horror films and anthology films and Christmas films, so I had to see this new one that is all three. This isn’t A Christmas Horror Story anthology though, this is an ABCs of Death anthology. You are aware of Advent calendars, no? If not, they consist of little doors to be opened every day from December 1^st through Christmas and traditionally contain chocolates in them. This anthology film takes the approach of such a calendar and contains 24 stories totaling almost 2 ½ hours, meaning each one is roughly 5 or 6 minutes (give or take; I didn’t keep track of how long each one was), plus there are 2 extra tales during the end credits (hint---don’t turn it off when the credits start). Oh, and there’s just as many segments with subtitles as ones without since filmmakers from all over the world contributed, just to let you know. Now, as much as I love short stories, both written and visual, I still like them to be long enough in order for me to be engaged, and these brief vignettes, much like the latter aforementioned anthology film, don’t allow me to do that. I was still interested in what kind of stories were going to be told in such scant time though. I think I only counted three segments I hated, many of them were just okay (“Life is too short to see movies that are just okay,” as Roger Ebert once said, and, yes, that applies to short films too), even one helmed by Ruggero Deodato (Cannibal Holocaust) wasn’t that great, and another one helmed by Lucky McKee (May) ended too soon (yes, even for a brief anthology segment); one was a rather unsuccessful homage to Reservoir Dogs. A few that stood out are ones that involved dolls (“Santa Is Coming”), a killer reindeer (“They Used to Laugh and Call Him Names”), girls killing Santa (“Kill Santa”), a giallo-influenced slasher (“Five Deaths in Blood Red”), “Santa” granting a kid’s wishes (“Milk and Cookies”), and a guy that is “Getting Away from It All.” I wasn’t the biggest fan of this film in the general sense, but if you’re a fan of horror films and anthology films and Christmas films, there might be something you like in this collection. 12/4/2020

---Sean O.

12/6/2020

Thursday, December 3, 2020

Downrange/The Christmas Chronicles 2

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Downrange OK/G

This was recently released on DVD but originally released at least 2 years ago and is (was) a Shudder exclusive. It was directed by Japanese filmmaker, Ryûhei Kitamura, who also gave us Versus, The Midnight Meat Train, and a segment in Nightmare Cinema. It involves a group of people (3 men, 3 women) driving on a desolate road in (I’m assuming) California before one of their tires is shot by a gunman hiding in a tree nearby. They then become sitting ducks as they’re periodically shot at while trying to hide the best they can (mainly behind the car). The use of a single location does actually end up working, it does get violent more than enough times, and I do want to recommend it solely on the fact it’s generally a brutal film with no happy ending, but it does overstay its welcome a bit at almost 90-minutes (which is why I’m not giving it a strictly G rating). 12/1/2020

The Christmas Chronicles: Part Two OK

The first one was a decent holiday film released 2 years ago on Netflix (you can read my review for it in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com---and this sequel is also available on the streaming platform). Chris Columbus directed as well as produced (the first time he only produced), he also being behind the holiday classics, Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, as well as the original Adventures in Babysitting and Mrs. Doubtfire, among others. The same family returns, as well as Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn as Mr. and Mrs. Claus, in addition to more characters (as is common in many sequels). This time, much like the first time (although this one has a different feel to it), something happens that might stop Christmas from coming and some of the characters must work to overcome this hindrance. It may not necessarily be an unnecessary sequel, and it did manage to avoid being super corny (although it may have come across that way at times), but it still suffers from sequel-itis, namely, not as good as its predecessor and likely forgettable. Still not that bad for a sequel though, especially a Netflix movie. 11/29/2020

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Amulet >>>EH

The Holiday Movies that Made Us

Ep. 1 (Elf) >>>OK

Ep. 2 (The Nightmare Before Christmas) >>>G

(Netflix)

---Sean O.

12/3/2020

Friday, November 27, 2020

The Witches

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The Witches EH/OK

I recently re-read the book of the same name by Roald Dahl (one of my favorite authors) and re-watched the original 1990 movie upon seeing this remake’s release (currently available on HBO Max) which actually has the author’s name atop the title. This time, Robert Zemeckis, helmer of films such as Who Framed Roger Rabbit, all 3 Back to the Futures, Death Becomes Her, Forrest Gump, and What Lies Beneath, directed, produced, and co-wrote it with Guillermo del Toro (he also co-produced this), famous for giving us Hellboy, The Devil’s Backbone, Pan’s Labyrinth, and Crimson Peak. The original film, directed by Nicolas Roeg and starring Anjelica Huston as the Grand High Witch (here, Anne Hathaway has the role), was largely faithful to the Roald Dahl story with just a few things altered. This film is largely like the original film with some things altered here and there, the location moving from Europe (Norway and England) to the States (Alabama) and the main characters race changed (which is good for representation) being prominent ones. The modern special effects here (meaning obvious CGI) don’t hold a candle to the practical ones used in the 1990 film, as is often the case. I didn’t exactly hate this film, but it is an unnecessary remake, yes, and I expected better from the talent involved. 11/22/2020

Bonus reviews:

Train to Busan Presents: Peninsula OK

The zombie subgenre was dead (pun intended) long before The Walking Dead premiered ten years ago. Naturally, there are passable entries every so often and Train to Busan, released 4 years ago, was actually one of them (you can read my brief review for it in the archives---www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com). You don’t even need to see the first film to watch this in-name only sequel (with the same director); just know a virus spread in Korea that turned people into zombies, which is explained in the beginning of this film anyway. Yes, it’s in Korean like the first film, so that does mean subtitles (even during the few parts spoken in English). It takes place four years after the events of the first film (just like the releases) and involves refugees living in Hong Kong tasked with going back to Korea in order to obtain a truck containing cash with promises of them all getting a cut when returned. This seemed to take a George A. Romero approach, Dawn and Land of the Dead came to mind the most, as well as that of a Mad Max-type film, meaning it wasn’t too original (I know, what really is these days?). It may be an unnecessary sequel, but it wasn’t a terrible movie on its own, just okay; but like the late Roger Ebert once said, “Life is too short to see movies that are just okay.” Also, being that it’s almost 2 hours, I became a bit impatient towards the end. Fans of Train to Busan are obviously going to be curious, but those that haven’t seen either film, I unquestionably recommend the first one over this one. 11/24/2020

Home Alone: The Holiday Heist OK/G

Home Alone 5. I knew not of a fifth entry until someone received the box set at a Christmas party a couple years ago. It came out at the end of 2012 and how did I not hear about it? There was no sixth film released yet (I did make sure), but there is one that will eventually be released on Disney+. They have starred different characters/performers each time since part 3, which was still a decent entry, and I don’t remember much about part 4, so it couldn’t have been that worthy (although a re-watch may be in the near future as my box set contains 1-4). This entry wasn’t as good as Home Alone 1 and 2, nor did I expect it to be (as I did parts 3 and 4), but it was actually better than I thought it would be. There were a few times I laughed out loud, there were some mildly passable homages to the first film, and there were some slightly clever ways of associating the robbers (one played by Malcolm McDowell) with ghosts. Decent enough to get in the holiday spirit. 11/25/2020

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Coyote Lake >>>G

Deerskin >>>OK

Lovecraft Country (Season 1) >>>OK

The Secrets We Keep >>>OK

---Sean O.

11/27/2020

Monday, November 23, 2020

The Wolf of Snow Hollow

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The Wolf of Snow Hollow OK/G

[POTENTIAL SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW]

Werewolves are a significant part of the horror genre, but there don’t seem to be enough movies featuring them; enough good ones is what I should probably say, because there’re probably a whole bunch of them I haven’t seen nor know about. Some of the good ones that come to mind are An American Werewolf in London, The Howling, Ginger Snaps (plus its sequel and prequel), Dog Soldiers, Silver Bullet, and I’ll even mention Wes Craven’s Cursed for being so-bad-it’s-fun. [The Sticks by Andy Deane, singer of Bella Morte, is a good werewolf book for those that may care; I think it would make a good adaptation]. This film involves a small town in Utah (Snow Hollow maybe?) dealing with several deaths purportedly caused by a werewolf. The werewolf is practical, really a man in a suit, but that beats CGI any day for this critic/horror fan. The humor throughout may not always work, but it never feels out of place either, this very much being a horror-comedy wherein neither genre cancels the other out. There is a twist at the end, I kind of gave it away already, making it a different movie than initially thought, but not in a way to completely ruin what came before. I doubt this will become a classic (I could be wrong though), but it’s decent for the time being; not too long either. 11/20/2020

Bonus reviews:

Alien Xmas G

The Chiodo Brothers are most famous for giving us Killer Klowns from Outer Space, but they were also involved in Critters 1-4, Ernest Scared Stupid (you’ll notice some of the clowns from Killer Klowns transformed into trolls if you pay attention), and parts of Elf and Pee-wee’s Big Adventure. This new stop-motion animated film available on Netflix is based on a book of the same name co-authored by Stephen Chiodo (also the director here; his brothers were involved in other ways). It involves aliens, looking exactly how one would generally envision them (pointy chin, round dome, black eyes), planning on stealing everything from Earth after building a machine enabling them to do so. An alien named X is sent to complete this mission (at the North Pole) and I probably don’t have to tell you it becomes a bit cutesy by the end. Isn’t that what the holidays are all about though? Blah, blah, blah. I still enjoyed it, because it’s aliens man!!! And it’s a Christmas movie! And it’s nice to look at! Plus it’s barely even 40-minutes. 11/22/2020

If Anything Happens I Love You G

(haiku review)

Animated short.

Images, no dialogue.

Potent 12-minutes. 11/21/2020

*[Currently available on Netflix]*

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The App That Stole Christmas >>>OK

(Netflix)

My Summer as a Goth >>>OK/G

Relic >>>OK

---Sean O.

11/23/2020

Friday, November 20, 2020

Growing Up with I Spit on Your Grave/Mulan

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Growing Up with I Spit on Your Grave G

I Spit on Your Grave. That controversial and divisive film from 1978 directed by Meir Zarchi. I, personally, think it’s a feminist film, but that’s where the divisive description comes in since others feel it is misogynistic and exploitative. It is a very disturbing film dealing with reprehensible subject matter, but it’s one of those disturbing films I’ve visited several times. You can read my review for the original film, the remake (which was actually decent), and both sequels to the remake here (https://vampireclown82-2.blogspot.com/2017/09/i-spit-on-my-blog.html), as well as the sequel to the original, Déjà Vu, in the archives (www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com). This documentary on the original film is helmed by the director’s son, Terry Zarchi, who made an appearance as the young kid at the gas station in the film. Everything from the film’s inspiration and how scenes were filmed are discussed via talking heads, including Meir, the star Camille Keaton, and two of the film’s villains (the other two are M.I.A. and it’s briefly explained why). Also included are viewpoints from its detractors and admirers, such as the late film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert who became famous for panning the film deeply (which also brought it more attention) and a girl that was raped herself shortly before watching it and ended up connecting with it. I don’t think anyone that isn’t mildly a fan of the film in question will have any interest in this documentary. I suggest you at least watch the original film (if you haven’t already) before checking this out though, but I think many can agree with me in saying it’s not exactly a film you watch for fun and isn’t for everybody…11/18/2020

Mulan OK

Well, I didn’t dislike it like I did the majority of live-action Disney remakes released in the last couple years, even the one helmed by Tim Burton, one of my favorite directors. Gone is the super catchy, ultra-conservative, anti-non-binary tune, “I’ll Make a Man Out of You,” as are all musical numbers, but its potent message of female empowerment remains (Mulan is one that actually walks the walk). Being this is 115-minutes and the 1998 animated film was only 88, a few things were added here and it did feel a bit longer than it should’ve been; it’s rated PG-13 too, so there is violence, but I don’t recall any of it being bloody. The film does look great, most big-budget action films tend to, but I still prefer the animated version. 11/17/2020

Bonus reviews:

Eli Roth’s History of Horror (Season 2)

Horror filmmaker Eli Roth returns as the narrator for this second season documentary series covering the horror film genre. There are six episodes this time as opposed to seven last time and they’re all a little over 40-minutes without the commercials. Oh, and just a heads up, it is assumed you’ve seen all the movies discussed (like last season), so I suggest you fast-forward or stop and watch said movie if you don’t want any spoilers! Here are some (ahem, many) of the things I said in my season one review that also apply to this season, which you can read the rest of in the archives (www.abcreviewarchive.blogspot.com)---[documentary series on AMC…hosted by filmmaker Eli Roth featuring other filmmakers and actors in the horror genre talking about and giving their personal opinions on specific films…While the films discussed and analyses given are absolutely nothing I haven’t heard or read before, it’s still fun to see different people talk about them, especially if you’re a fan of any of the talking heads or have a general interest in the subject matter (like I obviously do)…I do think there could’ve been more than seven episodes (they obviously didn’t cover the entire genre), but perhaps I’m getting too far ahead of myself and more are planned?]. While it may always be enjoyable discussing entertainment you share in common with others, or even watching it be discussed (which is the visual equivalent), I didn’t seem to enjoy this season in its entirety as much as last season, even though it generally had my full attention, as it should any horror fan, or even film fan. It might be that two of the episodes (“Monsters” and “Body Horror”) covered films I’m not particularly a fan of; “Monsters” is a very vague term to begin with, especially in the horror genre. The other episodes included “Houses of Hell,” “Witches,” “Chilling Children,” and “Nine Nightmares.” It was refreshing to see witches included since they don’t have many films (at least in the horror genre). The “Houses of Hell” segment didn’t only include haunted houses, but houses that contained evil within (House of 1000 Corpses being an example). “Nine Nightmares” covered films that allegedly pushed boundaries and leave it to good ol’ Eli Roth to include films like Pieces and Cannibal Holocaust. And perhaps they may have pushed boundaries, but I think countless other titles could’ve been included besides Midsommar and Jordan Peele’s Us since they’re still fairly recent. This season’s existence certainly answered my question from last season’s review in that I was getting too far ahead of myself. I wonder if more seasons are planned (as of yet, there’s no news), because even though subgenres may have been covered, there are definitely more films that can be discussed. I love horror, like Eli Roth, so I’ll definitely keep tuning in until every single thing in the genre is covered! 11/16/2020

Killer Clowns EH/OK

Anyone that knows me knows I love them. The title is as straightforward as it gets; this barely hour-long documentary details the history of clowns as well as some of the ones in cinema and reality. Films like Stephen King’s It, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Terrifier, and Wrinkles the Clown are covered, but instead of showing clips or photos of the actual films, we’re given substitute images, making this come off as unprofessional and cheaply-made (I did actually learn something new about Killer Klowns in regards to the title though). I mean, they did show one real picture of serial killer John Wayne Gacy, so why couldn’t images/clips from those aforementioned films be utilized? And why weren’t there any talking heads? I think I would’ve preferred just reading the same information. This definitely isn’t the definitive documentary on the subject, but it won’t take up too much of your time and is currently available on Tubi (meaning free). 11/18/2020

Dash & Lily (Season 1) G

I’m a sucker for Christmas movies. Not just horror ones either, and not necessarily those Lifetime/Hallmark Channel ones that are all the same with different performers and locations (although I do watch them too if I’m in the mood for something season-y). I gave this new Netflix series a chance after seeing it was only 8 episodes totaling a little over 3 hours (the longest episode is 27-minutes). Mind you, the Christmas aspect is the only thing that drew me in as I’m not the biggest fan of romantic comedies, although I do like some. In it, the titular characters (Dash generally being a loner that hates Christmas, Lily being the opposite) write dares to each other in a red notebook, leaving it in various locations in New York City for the other to retrieve. This is all before they actually meet in person, similar to being pen pals or Instant Messenger buddies. Sure, it ends pretty much how you know it will, but it manages to be engaging enough during its run. Sigh, I’m going to recommend it. I hate myself…11/18/2020

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Camp Cold Brook >>>EH

Uncle Peckerhead >>>OK

Unhinged >>>OK

---Sean O.

11/20/2020