Mooby Reviews 2/27/2017

Here's my recent movie critiques...

The Accountant                                                           B

I thought this was heading somewhere at first but it only gets worse and worse.  It’s too jumbled and I lost interest by the time it reverted to each section.  I figured out the “twist” right away from watching too many movies.  I didn’t care by then anyway.  When it ended, I felt like I just watched 2 hours of nothing.  2/18/2017

American Pastoral                                                      OK

This movie set primarily during the ‘60’s goes to show that current events differ little.  Race riots and violent protests occur today for different reasons yet similar politics.  One thing I will say about Dakota Fanning’s character is that she walks the walk unlike most privileged people protesting but doing zilch about it.  Turns out her life gets much worse after running away from home but she still sticks with her principles.  It’s amazing how her own mother eventually writes her off just because of her beliefs.  I don’t recall meeting David Strathairn’s younger character so what makes him so important to tell the story and why is he introduced at all?  He only claims he knew Ewan McGregor’s character growing up.  Ewan knows how to direct but this movie feels empty overall.  2/18/2017

Bad Santa 2                                                                 OK/G

I am a fan of Bad Santa and recall having no desire to see it upon release.  It was funny, raunchy and mean-spirited.  Something we don’t see much of in (non-horror) Christmas movies.  This sequel is also funny, raunchy and mean-spirited.  It also feels parodical at times, like when Billy Bob gets lucky in several public places.  Those parts aren’t funny.  It’s kinda creepy how fatty Thurman Merman has the same mentality as 13 years ago.  It’s also funny in the way Will Ferrell is funny in Elf because he doesn’t know any better.  It doesn’t quite have the same novel charm this time, but if you were a fan of Bad Santa, it’s probably not gonna hurt to check this one out.  2/23/2017

The Crooked Man                                                       VB

This doesn’t pertain to the character from The Conjuring 2.  In fact, I would’ve preferred a spin-off.  My main beef with this film is with the Crooked Man himself:  poorly-executed CGI that would’ve worked just fine with practical make-up.  The special effects are just as lame as everything else in this crapfest.  Even his “crooked” house sucks.  The Crooked Man kills a girl at a sleepover and returns six years later (after another girl accused of murdering that girl is released from an institution) to kill everyone else there that night.  The Crooked Man couldn’t kill everyone while she was away?  The kills are extremely unsuspenseful and flairless.  I’m not even sure if those are real words or not.  Watching stupid movies like this are making me stupid!  I hated this movie.  I’d be flabbergasted to see a movie worse than this before 2018, but there’s ten months left and other contenders are probably saying “hold my beer.”  I’ll stick to the same-titled (but no relation whatsoever) anti-straight short story by Charles Beaumont thank you very much!  2/17/2017

I’m Not Ashamed                                                        OK

I am absolutely not a fan of religious or faith-based movies.  I gave this a shot because it was based on one of the Columbine victims.  I have a strange fascination with certain tragic histories especially if I was alive and aware when they occurred.  I remember when the shooting happened, I was saddened for the victims’ families yet also strangely fascinated.  I hated most people in my high school but never thought of bringing in guns, and I watched violent movies.  Columbine wasn’t even the first school (or mass) shooting nor did it have the most casualties, but it birthed a whole bunch of copycats and the name alone became synonymous with mass shootings or violent youth in general.  I like the narrative technique here since people usually remember the killer(s) and never the victims.  I think it could be more disturbing as well because we’re witnessing their life before it tragically ends.  The only victim recognized for a bit was Cassie, the girl allegedly shot for saying she believed in God.  This movie focuses on another victim, Rachel Scott, who also happened to find God before being murdered.  I find it hard to believe a pretty girl like her (both in this movie and real life) felt invisible in school.  If she wasn’t caught sneaking out one night and sent to visit her relatives (played by members of Duck Dynasty no less) in Louisiana (the Deep South no less), she never would’ve considered Christianity.  It always takes a wrongdoing or years of wrongdoings to make people better themselves by believing in an invisible deity apparently not needed or present in their life before that.  It’s funny how focus is never on a mean Christian acting in opposition to their doctrines, or an atheist making an impact on lives like Rachel.  Where indeed was God when Rachel’s short life was taken from her?  Believers would say it was her time or blame it on Satan, but if she was an atheist they would blame her lack of faith.  I’m sure Rachel was a very nice girl as she claimed (at least in the movie) she wasn’t an “intolerant, self-righteous, hypocritical” Christian.  I’d like to see a movie about a non-religious victim (from Columbine or any other tragedy) and see that people are equally upset about their death.  Regardless of anyone’s beliefs, Rachel and the other victims weren’t “meant to be there.”  They were in the wrong place at the wrong time.  2/23/2017

The LEGO Batman Movie                                          G

I was a huge fan of The LEGO Movie and didn’t expect to be.  I like Batman here and there.  I prefer the Tim Burton-era Batman’s since those were the ones I grew up with and I’m a big Burton fan.  This wasn’t as good as LEGO Movie but it was still fun.  I enjoyed it more than some live-action versions.  I know I’m going to have to watch it again because there was too much to take in the first time.  You may not necessarily have to be a Batman fan to enjoy this but it would help to at least be aware of all the characters.  There’s two messages underlying all this mayhem:  the traditional storytelling construct indicating heroes wouldn’t exist without villains, plus the age-old theme suggesting there’s usually a reason people act the way they do.  2/17/2017

Manchester by the Sea                                                G

Kudos to Kenneth Lonergan for placing the death in the beginning.  The structure benefits this film greatly.  We’re presented with flashbacks throughout the present day.  If the film would’ve been linear preceding the inevitable untimely death, this could’ve been much sappier.  There’s more than one tragedy presented and they’re handled solemnly but surprisingly not as depressing as the subject matter.  Tone!  All about tone!  The younger Affleck plays an apartment janitor living a seemingly miserable existence (and you’ll understand why) until he returns home to take care of some unwanted family affairs.  This shows your life could always be worse and today’s problems can be replaced by bigger problems tomorrow.  The performers are very good and the familial strife even after a death in the family rings true.  People argue.  Families argue.  Mr. Lonergan feels no need to sugarcoat relationships since reality isn’t perfect like a 1950’s sitcom.  While I did like this film, it does run a bit longer than it should.  Still, this is better than several of big brother Ben’s recent flicks (one of them reviewed above).  2/26/2017

Stake Land II                                                               EH

The first one was a decent apocalyptic bloodsucker flick.  This one picks up where that one ended.  I don’t know why you’d desire watching Stake Land II if you never saw nor heard of Stake Land.  If that’s the case, just watch the first one and neglect this one.  This is similar to a boring Walking Dead episode.  There’s lots of drama and the vampires are secondary elements adding occasional tension.  The ending hinted at a possible Stake Land III (Hell, what modern movie doesn’t suggest a follow-up?).  I hope it’s better than this if so.  2/17/2017

XX                                                                               OK/G

Four films directed by four women.  That’s how it was marketed.  I love me some anthology films so I viewed these without focusing on who made them.  I’m usually anti-feminist (not anti-woman) especially if they preach hypocritical rhetoric.  My buddy Jovanka Vuckovic (one of the directors and alumni of Rue Morgue and Revolver Magazines) once stated she wants to see more balance, not to remove white men altogether.  I stand behind that sentiment 100% as I’m all for equality as well.  In every regard though.  That means I want to see women (at least the ones bitching about equality and male chauvinism) do “real” hard work as well (construction, electrical work, sewage, etc.).  Don’t give me none of that shit that women shouldn’t be doing those jobs; if you have two functioning arms and two functioning legs and aren’t pregnant, you are very capable of doing anything men are expected to do.  It’s been proven women can be feminine in addition to doing traditionally masculine work.  I’ve witnessed it.  Those women are inspirational to me.  (North Country is a good example and a very good movie).  Anyway, this batch of vignettes is a mixed bag typical of the format.  Jovanka’s entry “The Box” was rather grim and I felt somewhat cheated by its open-endedness.  However, it was the best and most unforgettable.  “The Birthday Party” was pointless as I don’t see why the dead husband had to remain a secret regardless of the occasion.  “Don’t Fall” was a decent demonic possession creature feature that slightly reminded me of a Campfire Tales segment.  “Her Only Living Son” had a tinge of Rosemary’s Baby and was also open-ended, but I like my conclusion if that was the intention.  All of these were wrapped around by a bizarre, slightly ominous, ultra-surreal tale involving a walking dollhouse.  Good effort but not the best collection.  2/20/2017

---Sean O.

Mooby Reviews 2/12/2017

Current batch of film reviews:

Abattoir                                                                       OK/G

Apparently this is based on a 6-issue comic book series with the same name in my possession.  Looks like I have to browse my comic archives and do a post-movie comparison.  Comparing a comic book will be easier than a printed book since comics come with their own visuals.  I don’t remember a single thing from the comics, so I essentially went into this movie blind.  Therefore, after I re-read the series, I might reconsider my rating and possibly re-watch.  Even though I don’t like to compare different mediums like I used to, I can’t help the instinctual criticism.  Anyway, the movie is really well-shot and suspenseful.  I didn’t expect less from the same guy that helmed three of the Saw movies and Repo! The Genetic Opera.  He was also involved with the comic.  A featurette included states the movie begins like Seven, becomes The Wicker Man, and ends like Hellraiser.  That’s a fairly accurate description.  It’s certainly a novel idea involving crime scenes.  While I was engaged most of the time, I also felt that style trumped substance.  Let me re-read the comics and get back to you.  2/9/2017

Blackway                                                                     OK

Ray Liotta is Blackway.  Everyone in the surrounding area fears him.  A girl (Julia Stiles) returns from Seattle and is attacked by Blackway.  Blackway then kills her cat.  She goes to the cops.  They “can’t” do anything.  She takes matters into her own hands by enlisting the aid of two gentlemen (one played by Anthony Hopkins and a younger dude).  They go all over trying to find Blackway (sorta reminded me of Winter’s Bone) with each person claiming not to know where he’s at.  That’s basically all that happens until the bland conclusion.  No curveballs are thrown.  The Pacific Northwest setting is what makes this film.  I’d like to visit the region sometime and this movie is great to look at.  The performers are good too.  Take a look at this film if you have absolutely nothing else to do, there’s nothing else to watch, and you have some time to kill.  Otherwise, you’ll probably think time was lost watching this straightforward thriller.  2/12/2017

Fun Size Horror: Volume One                                    OK

Here’s an anthology film in the vein of The ABCs of Death I stumbled across when browsing free movies via On Demand.  Much like the aforementioned anthology, these bite size vignettes don’t allow enough time for investment.  Anthologies like Creepshow, Creepshow 2, Trick ‘R Treat, Chillers and Tales from the Crypt episodes are perfect because they give ample time to involve the audience without overstaying their welcome.  Some stories end too soon, some actually run too long, and some are completely unnecessary.  Standouts include “Persephone,” “Mr. Hendrix” and “The Creepy Fucking Kid in Apartment B.”  “Persephone” I believe would make a good feature length film; I was upset when the short ended.  Ditto for “Mr. Hendrix” which is kinda creepy and could possibly become iconic.  “Happy Birthday” is slightly cruel.  “A Dog and His Boy” is the funniest thing I’ve seen lately.  Like anthologies and fun size candies in a Halloween bowl, you have to pick what you like and steer clear of what you don’t.  Also like fun size candies, some of these films may be short, sweet and satisfying but not as much as the regular size.  I assume more volumes are planned if this is titled Volume One.  Perhaps they might consider condensing the trick-or-treat bowl and upgrading to bigger pieces next time?  2/8/2017

Kevin Hart:  What Now?                                            G

I don’t love Kevin nor do I dislike him.  I seem to like his stand-up more than his feature films.  I did think some of this was funny, but primarily thought he was a good storyteller.  I didn’t expect it to be over nor did I want it to end when it did, so that’s a plus for me.  It’s also part of history since this was allegedly the first time a comedian sold out an NFL stadium.  I noticed a diverse group of people attending in which Mr. Hart acknowledges at the end, proclaiming “If y’all can laugh together, y’all can live together.”  Could diversity be promoted any better?  2/12/2017

Morgan                                                                       OK/G

Several reviews on Rotten Tomatoes compared this to Ex Machina.  I never saw that but nothing is truly fresh these days anyhow.  Sure, this may be derivative and I predicted the ending almost right away, but this is well-made and never boring.  However, I do think the fight scenes are out of place and belong more in a Jason Bourne movie.  Maybe I should watch Ex Machina.  2/6/2017

The 9^th Life of Louis Drax                                           OK

I thought this movie looked interesting and curiosity won when seeing it was directed by the same guy behind High Tension and the The Hills Have Eyes and Piranha remakes.  The story begins compellingly but the middle is sluggish and sappy.  It would’ve been more involving to see more of the comatic subconscious world, but this wasn’t directed by Tim Burton or Guillermo del Toro.  The ending’s actually slightly dark and mildly depressing.  This movie is like a sandwich having good bread with nothing so great in between.  2/9/2017

Phantom Boy                                                              OK

The story’s generic as they come but the animation is astonishing.  I was awe-struck by the rendering of New York City from all angles, accomplished by Frenchmen.  The boy in question does say he doesn’t know how he can leave his body, he just can.  So can anyone else staying in the hospital apparently.  Is it something only patients in that specific hospital can do?  He never encounters anyone outside the hospital in his phantom state.  Also, if he doesn’t know how he can spectrally leave his body, how does he know he’ll disappear forever if not returning to his physical body in time?  Like all movies with similar warnings, there is a way to return from obsolescence.  How did the rescuer know how to accomplish this if they didn’t communicate with him as a phantom?  He wouldn’t have known anyway if he thought he was gonna evaporate.  Perhaps I’m being too critical and looking too much into it and should just enjoy its bittersweet simplicity?  I only notice these things when noticeable and unanswered.  Oh, if you want to know how “Picasso Face” became that way, you’re going to have to draw your own conclusion.  2/7/2017

Rings                                                                           OK

I guess this would technically be The Ring Three?  It’s more a remake of The Ring, or re-imaging if you will.  In the beginning, I thought I was watching Final Destination, and at the end I thought I was watching Don’t Breathe for a second.  I still am a fan of The Ring.  The Ring Two was a typical sequel:  not as good, okay, easily forgotten.  That’s basically how I feel about this one.  While there are references and flashbacks to the first two, Samara has a slightly different backstory this time and was never found before.  How were more images on the tape never discovered before?  Back when The Ring came out, DVD players were still in their infancy and most people still had VCR’s.  In future installments, the video is going to be solely digital.  I don’t think any more sequels are necessary though.  2/9/2017

Shark Exorcist                                                             B/EH

Satan with Jaws.  What an awesome tagline.  Satan embodying a shark.  What an awesome idea.  What a terrible movie.  The fake shark with yellow eyes is actually “okay” and gets a C- passing grade.  A major editing problem exists here.  People appear to be attacked before the shark is even near.  You see the shark swim up after the victims start thrashing.  There’s also some poorly-executed and nonsensical Exorcist homage’s (hence the Exorcist part of the title) happening in between.  I’m all for cheesiness (as anyone that knows me will attest to) but I expect to enjoy it and for some effort to be involved.  The idea and beginnings of a gnarly constructed shark are the only things this has going for it.  Also, there’s a 10-minute post-credits sequence involving a young girl marveling over stuffed sharks in an aquarium, ending with her spewing orange liquid outside a building.  My only guess:  To reiterate you just watched a pointless movie involving sharks and exorcism?  2/6/2017

Trolls                                                                           G

This movie brought out the kid in me.  For the most part.  It does lose steam halfway but not entirely.  It’s so colorful and creative at times.  It also has the age-old moral demonstrating everyone, or everything in this case, has the ability to be happy if they put their mind to it.  I kinda wish the movie focused primarily on the Trolls.  I didn’t care much for the Bergens, which were basically Shrek’s uglier cousins.  2/12/2017

USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage                            OK/G

I’ve always been curious about what exactly went down (!) on the USS Indianapolis every time I hear Quint tell the chilling story in Jaws.  I was a newborn going in so it’s not my place to say whether any of this is based on fact or not.  As a movie itself, it combines a decent mixture of war-based disaster and natural horror.  Think U-571 meets Open Water with more shark attacks.  Some of the sharks are creepy while others appear straight from a generic SyFy movie.  There’s enough shark attacks to go around but I still think Quint’s story is more frightening.  Two of the men from the actual event retell parts of their ordeal after the movie and they make it sound more terrifying.  Movies based on true stories will never equal the terror for those that lived it.  This is strictly popcorn entertainment.  2/6/2017

---Sean O.

Mooby Reviews 2/1/17

Here's my current batch of film critiques...

The Autopsy of Jane Doe                                            G

I’m not sure I would’ve been interested with that title, but curiosity always gets the better of me when a movie is praised in the horror world.  It’s always dangerous expecting a masterpiece and ending up less than satisfied, much like a critically panned film not being as bad as expected.  That’s why sometimes I wish I could see movies before anyone writes or talks about them.  Since I would’ve had no initial desire like stated, I might’ve liked this even better than I did.  I did like it though.  It began as a predetermined predictable film I kept focused on due to being critically lauded.  It’s certainly not for the squeamish at first.  I’m personally repulsed by biology.  The mortuary scenes weren’t too grotesque though and were actually necessary.  They were very realistic but no more gross than the one Saw sequel (where the actual stomach is pulled out and cut open) and I was able to keep my Chinese food down.  Things take a radically different turn halfway through.  Morgues (or any place containing dead bodies) are inherently creepy and adding walking corpses on a stormy night seals the deal.  I was actually surprised by the final revelation which might make for better successive viewings.  Like mentioned, I think I might’ve been more surprised if unaware what I was getting into.  Then again, with no knowledge, I might’ve predicted an outcome and lost interest well before the ending.  Maybe hype isn’t so bad after all?  Sometimes.  1/29/2017

Closet Monster                                                            OK/G

Movies like this make me hate reviewing because I don’t know what to write or what rating to give.  This coming-of-age movie about a mostly closeted kid growing up in Newfoundland is thoroughly engaging with moments of creativity, but delivers a fair portion of what I’ve seen before.  I hate when a gay kid meets a guy he’s attracted to and they somehow end up together at least once, whether the other guy is straight or not.  It doesn’t work that way in reality.  Yes, I know this is a movie but if you’re trying to replicate real life, don’t turn it into a fairy (no pun intended) tale like much of what I’ve been seeing lately.  One particular standout is when the kid’s mother gives him a speech about how he’s never had it easy and probably never will so it’s best to develop a thick skin.  Brutal honesty!  It’s what some people need to hear however unwarranted.  1/29/2017

Come and Find Me                                                     B

I hated this movie.  I couldn’t wait for it to end after 20 minutes.  It was almost 2 hours.  Yes, she is still alive just like he (and I) figured out.  Well, at least she’s still alive until the very end.  I think.  I just spoiled it for you.  I don’t want you to waste 2 hours of your life like I did.  1/26/2017

Death Race 2050                                                        OK

I hated this in the beginning.  I thought the violence was corny and the characters irritating.  Undeniably, it ends up being quite a bit of fun.  It’s never boring.  Seeing yet another post-apocalyptic futuristic America is interesting.  The violence is equally nauseating and cheap.  The characters are generally irritating throughout but I guess they had to be in order to rack up points by running over pedestrians for sport; babies and senior citizens tallied more!  I suppose once 2050 comes around, Death Race 2100 will be made.  1/26/2017

Girl Asleep                                                                  G

Here’s an imaginative allegorical film about a girl’s transition into early womanhood from the Land Down Under obviously set in the ‘70’s.  Combining elements of Alice in Wonderland, Napoleon Dynamite and Wes Anderson, I only hated a few parts.  I think it could’ve been a little longer too.  2/1/2017

Maximum Ride                                                            EH

This is basically a “dollar store” version of X-Men with elements of Twilight and Species tossed in.  I didn’t know this was based on part of a series of books written by the renowned James Patterson.  I also didn’t think the title would be the name of a character.  I have no intention of watching any probable sequels.  I think I’ll stop here.  1/31/2017

Neither Heaven Nor Earth                                          OK

I liked the mystery of this French film taking place in Afghanistan.  Sadly, that’s all there is to it.  This felt like the equivalent of a Joyce Carol Oates short story:  good build-up with an incomplete conclusion.  I know some stories are meant to end that way, but I felt cheated when this ended.  Perhaps I might appreciate this more after reading other reviews, specifically from horror writers?  Perhaps, but everyone is their own critic.  Yeah, there’s several movies I wasn’t initially crazy about but ended up loving after getting other opinions and having repeat viewings.  So perhaps I might like it better the second time but I’m giving you my first impression for now.  1/29/2017

Sugar Mountain                                                          EH

Lying gets you nowhere and into more and more trouble with more than one person.  That’s basically what this forgettable movie set in Alaska (my birthplace) tries to portray.  Also that money is the root of all problems.  Also that people will do anything to make money.  Two hard-up brothers devise a plan to have one of them “go missing” while hiking on the titular mountain, thinking the story will make them famous.  Of course things don’t necessarily go as planned and, like the hoax itself, the movie turns into a complete joke and a waste of time.  The movie isn’t tonally synched with the subject matter.  I think I’ll just let Mr. Neil Young tell me about “Sugar Mountain” instead.  I also think Cary Elwes is desperate for a paycheck these days.  1/26/2017

Train to Busan                                                            G

Pretty good zombie flick from South Korea.  At least it didn’t take place entirely in a train because that would’ve been too limiting.  Highlights:  Zombie deer.  Zombie pile-ups bursting through glass.  Zombies only reacting to sighted movement in light (halfway like Jurassic Park’s T-Rex, no?).  You could do worse in this dead (!) subgenre.  1/26/2017

---Sean O.

Mooby Reviews 1/24/17

Here's my current batch of film reviews:

The Bye Bye Man                                                        OK/G

This was actually much better than I thought it would be.  There’s an interesting mythology surrounding the eponymous demon.  He technically doesn’t have to kill anyone.  Anyone that knows his name will go crazy and kill those around them.  I guess that would make him an infernal Charles Manson in a way, or a cousin of Bughuul (Sinister).  The Bye Bye Man himself is actually pretty gnarly.  Rather sinister (!)  While decent, it still reeks of formulaic supernatural thriller at times.  I would like to know how the Bye Bye Man originated or perhaps see where he comes from.  Plus, in 2017, don’t characters in horror movies know not to say “who’s there?” while alone?  Don’t they watch movies in the movie world?  Also, if you want to eradicate something, you don’t just throw it into the woods for someone to find.  You friggin’ burn the damn thing!  1/19/2017

4^th Man Out                                                                 G

Coming out.  Something only non-hetero’s ever have to worry about.  Unless you’re a celebrity and announce it to the world, it’s something non-hetero’s basically have to do their entire life.  Every time you meet new people, you have to ask yourself if you’re comfortable telling them.  I know we live in moderately more accepting times but it’s still a self-conscious attribute non-hetero’s contend with.  I’m only speaking from experience.  Everyone has their own way of doing it.  I started off small by telling my parents first and repressed it for years in hopes of maybe being “cured” of it.  Of course that was the societal and religious mentality making me hate myself and become outwardly homophobic in the process.  I didn’t grow up in a very welcoming environment.  The towns I grew up in were predominantly Catholic and if they weren’t Catholic they were conservative.  I had no one to look up to.  The only gay people I knew of were stereotypical ones like Elton John and Boy George, people you didn’t want to be associated with.  This was in the ‘90’s when such things were still swept under the rug.  Eventually, not long ago, I started to come out to the rest of my immediate family and the few friends I had.  Lastly, I posted a very angry note on social media so everyone knew.  Even if they didn’t have facebook, the message was passed on of course.  I still don’t feel bad about it even though some may argue it wasn’t the best way to go about it, and I was lambasted by some for it.  Oh well, I felt it was the easiest way to deliver the message and yes there was lots of profanity, but that’s how I talk.  Anyway, I think this movie handled it in a fairly realistic way.  Most people today are fine with it, so I think it would’ve been a different story if this were made 20-30 years ago.  The three straight friends-since-childhood are initially weirded out in typical straight male fashion but simultaneously accepting.  I guess we still have a ways to go until people totally feel comfortable about being open right away.  We also still have a ways to go before gay stereotypes are debunked.  The three straight guys at one point accuse each other of doing “gay things” such as using women’s deodorant, going to see Les Miserables and knowing what Grindr is.  The guy in question works at an auto shop, doesn’t exhibit any stereotypes, and one of his friends claims that he eats steak a lot.  (LOL)  I eat steak too!  Of course he faces some initial opposition being from a small-town that appears to be religious.  In the end, he doesn’t seem to have any problems with anyone as they all celebrate their “independence” at a 4^th of July BBQ.  Different times.  Coming out is still something one has to do more than once in life.  Essentially.  1/13/2017

The Handmaiden                                                        OK/G

Here’s a movie from the same guy that gave us the Vengeance Trilogy (Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, Oldboy, Lady Vengeance) in which nothing is as initially seemed.  Running 2½ hours, parts inevitably drag but interest is rarely ever waned.  Taking place in what appears to be Victorian times, this is basically a sophisticated Korean Wild Things.  There’re innumerous twists and some Sapphic action that gives the fantasy scene from Black Swan a huge run for its money.  I like the East Asian Victorian touch but I felt there was an unsatisfying conclusion to an intriguing build-up, like a joke with a stale punch line.  1/19/2017

Long Way North                                                          G

Presentation certainly makes a difference.  If this was the same exact movie (scene-for-scene) in live-action, I most likely wouldn’t care too much for it.  I’m always amazed at what animation can accomplish considering the arduous process.  I “felt” the cold of the upper Northern Hemisphere and “savored” the food prepared in the restaurant inn.  The animation almost resembles a cross between Anime and a typical Cartoon Network program.  It is adventurous at times and easy to follow, but gets a marginal recommendation based on my visual comparison above.  1/22/2017

Lost & Found                                                              EH

Here’s a movie purported to be adventurous involving treasure maps but has no adventure whatsoever.  There’s one suspenseful part in the whole movie but it’s quickly over and done, so it’s not enough to count.  Jason Patric and Cary Elwes are in it just to generate guaranteed viewings.  If no-name actors were in the same roles, this flat lame ass afterschool special would’ve forever remained in the lost & found archives.  It should be lost & never found!  1/13/2017

Middle School:  The Worst Years of My Life               G

I never read any of the books.  This is a relatively fun movie involving early teenage rebellion in a totalitarian school system.  The animated bits were creative.  I hated Rob Riggle but so did the main characters.  There’s a twist that actually took me by surprise since I didn’t expect it for this kind of movie.  Points for that.  I pretty much hated school my entire life but almost agree with the title since middle school is up there for being my least favorite years.  1/14/2017

Moonlight                                                                    G

I like how this wasn’t presented as an LGBT movie.  It just happens to involve a gay character and that’s how it should be in this day and age.  Moonlight involves a gay black man in Miami during three times of his life (kid, teen, young adult).  This is the type of gay coming-of-age story we don’t see too often.  It’s thoroughly involving but I felt the ultimate story was just beginning when it ended.  1/19/2017

Natural Selection                                                         G

You’d be subliminally blind to not see where this is eventually leading.  Not only based on the title but also the multiple shots of a certain item and the general misanthropy of one character.  The movie focuses entirely on the people’s lives before the tragic event is about to occur and I think the performances and direction were satisfactory.  Sure, we’ve seen this all before but the duplicitous “he said/she said” bullshit prevalent in high school (and everyday life for that matter) rings true.  Perhaps if more people like the protagonist noticed certain behaviors, tragedies copycatting Columbine could be averted.  1/22/2017

Pet                                                                               OK

Creepy guy stalks hot girl.  Hot girl doesn’t want creepy guy.  Creepy guy kidnaps hot girl and locks her in a cage below the kennel he works at.  Sound familiar?  Things are slightly turned on their heads halfway through.  Luckily the twist comes early unlike some movies thinking they’ll make it better regardless of how lackluster it’s been until the end.  Since I had to trudge through the fairly standard first half, it only gets half a good rating.  There’s a particularly bloody scene that would make the adult-writing Roald Dahl proud.  1/14/2017

Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre                      OK

Yes, with a title like that you know I couldn’t bypass it.  Helmed by Jim Wynorksi, the purveyor of other stupid (yet awkwardly entertaining) shit (Curse of the Komodo, Camel Spiders) plus cult classics like Chopping Mall and Sorority House Massacre 2 (he actually has a pretty lengthy filmography but not quite near Roger Corman yet), this film featuring hot babes battling a below-average creature concoction is actually not that bad.  The sharkosaurus (yes really, it has spikes on it and the ability to swim on land too) emerges from underneath the ground following a fracking accident.  We really don’t get to see any deaths since the camera cuts away right before the shark attacks in a cloud of water, or dirt if on land.  That might’ve been a smart move since the shark looked mediocre from the side.  The only glimpse we get, other than the fin, is the standard shark mouth opened wide before attacking one victim.  The female prisoners squabble as expected and end up in the woods with an officer hostage plus two other men escaping the sharks (there’s six according to one observation).  Being hazardous on land surely makes it more suspenseful but this is still a turn-your-brain-off-and-enjoy-the-idiocy film.  If you don’t know that before watching a movie with that title, you’ll probably be disappointed.  My favorite line is when a guy mentions vibrations in regards to the fracking and one of the women asks “Good vibrations?  Like the song?”  How original!  Traci Lords doesn’t seem to age either; she looks no different than The Tommyknockers days.  1/23/2017

Space Clown                                                               OK

This is a decent evil clown flick barely over an hour.  I usually can’t go wrong with an evil clown movie as long as it’s not poorly made and the clown appears a decent amount of time.  This was well-made but I felt a lot could’ve been added to the short run time.  Perhaps in a follow-up?  I wanted to see the Clown World this Space Clown needed to return to after using human bodies to fuel his spacecraft.  I know clowns are supposed to be funny but I could’ve done without the flatulence even though one part was actually “necessary.”  I generally don’t find sounds emitting from rear ends too comical.  You could do much worse without killing much time but this clown doesn’t hold the brightest candle to those other klowns from outer space.  1/22/2017

Split                                                                             G

I am a fan of M. Night Shyamalan for the most part.  He has a very simplistic Hitchcock-ian style that works for me.  I consider his career beginning with The Sixth Sense even though he directed two films before that.  Lady in the Water was his first dud in my opinion.  I did enjoy The Happening for its simplistic morbidity.  I hated The Last Airbender and wasn’t crazy about After Earth.  The Visit was an improvement and gets better each viewing.  Split has an outstanding performance from James McAvoy who’s surprisingly good-looking here too.  Mr. Shyamalan is known as the “twist” director and that’s what people expect when going to see his movies.  I’m not going to reveal whether there’s a twist or not, but I liked M. Night’s decision.  I only dislike 3 out of 10 films thus far, so M. Night passes and I anticipate his rumored involvement in the Tales from the Crypt reboot (only the best TV show ever!).  Pay attention at the end for a certain cameo mentioning a character from one of M. Night’s earlier films.  1/22/2017

---Sean O.

Mooby Reviews 1/8/17

Here's my current movie reviews.  The first batch of reviews for the "new year."

The Devil’s Dolls                                                        OK/G

Points for having an awesome title.  Begins with a scene reminiscent of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original) containing bloodshed á la High Tension.  In a good way, mind you.  In fact, the gore is what saves this movie.  Without the red stuff, this movie reeks of lame.  Its simplistic plot would’ve satisfied my body count appetite during my formative years in that I was always fascinated by how many people died and who died.  Then, years later I would re-watch and enjoy for the nostalgia.  I wish with a title like that the dolls would’ve been more traditional (Victorian, porcelain, plastic) instead of the Blair Witch-type “worry dolls,” but they were okay…I guess.  They fit the story at least.  Set up like a straight slasher flick and time may tell if it ages well, but it’s conditionally worth recommending solely on the glorious brutality.  1/3/2017

The Girl                                                                       EH/OK

Yet another movie trying to distinguish itself by tacking a twist onto a rather routine plot.  While the twist does make it mildly interesting, it arrives too late (as usual) following a standard woman-in-peril flick.  It is fairly short so it won’t kill too much time even if you feel the need to re-watch with obtained knowledge.  Did the villain really think his son (or wife for that matter) wouldn’t eventually investigate the shed during his absence, especially after being warned to steer clear?  Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it is a human quality.  And if the “final girl” was able to do what’s revealed, couldn’t she prevent the whole incident from happening at all?  No, because then we wouldn’t have a movie.  Hmm….1/8/2017

I Am Not a Serial Killer                                              G

The twist makes this a better movie.  Better in the sense you might have to watch twice to know your final opinion.  I hate when movies do that.  The title itself slightly hints at the twist and that not all is as it initially appears.  I’m giving this a mild recommendation.  The film is generally formulaic but the charismatic protagonist elevates it and the climax alters the movie entirely.  The final revelation has been used before but it works here.  The lead character proves that one isn’t evil just because they’re fascinated with dark subject matter.  1/1/2017

Mississippi Murder                                                      EH

A generic title for a generic thriller.  The killer is no surprise at all and you should figure it out right away (even if you never saw a single one of these types of movies).  Other revelations are stale (if you still happen to care by then) and do nothing to quell negative southern stereotypes.  1/8/2017

The Monster                                                                G/VG

The staging couldn’t have been better for a horror movie:  a back road with woods on either side while it’s raining.  Add a swift creature with sharp teeth to that creepy setting.  I was satisfied with the monster.  It was practical and that’s always preferred.  The flashbacks detailing the tumultuous mother-daughter relationship prove the story needed to be fleshed out to reach an adequate run time.  It may have been necessary to prove you shouldn’t take certain people for granted no matter how difficult they may be.  I still don’t understand how someone can go investigate alone while knowing there’s a possible attacker nearby.  I also don’t think an otherworldly creature would scope out an area and bide its time before attacking.  Then again, this movie would’ve only been 15 minutes.  In reality, everyone would’ve been dead and the creature would’ve searched elsewhere for more victims.  Those minor quibbles aside, this is a good old fashioned creature feature.  1/3/2017

Run the Tide                                                                EH

Pretty lame movie starring “Jacob Black.”  Several performances are very convincing but the story culminates in the age-old “it wasn’t you, it was me” speech enabling someone to bury the hatchet and get a load off their chest.  Blah, blah, blah.  1/8/2017

The Secret Life of Pets                                               OK/G

This one is more for the kiddies.  Funny at times, charming at times, ultimately feels too familiar.  Max is a cute little doggy, his words and mine.  1/8/2017

Storks                                                                          G

Wow, I actually liked an animated movie that wasn’t affiliated with Disney, wasn’t South Park, or wasn’t any adult animation.  What am I talking about?  I love cartoons, just not too many modern ones.  This movie about the titular birds no longer delivering babies is quite funny, quite creative and quite a surprise.  I laughed a couple times.  I’ll probably get backlash for this, but I might have enjoyed this more than Moana.  (I did like both though).  All ages can enjoy this.  See Storks.  1/1/2017

When the Bough Breaks                                              OK

…The (hand that rocks the) cradle will fall and down will come anymore domestic thrillers from being made at all.  This one wasn’t too bad though.  It manages to tinker with many of the typical tropes.  While it may be better than most recent Fatal Attraction and The Hand that Rocks the Cradle clones, it still reeks of domestic-thriller-TV-movie-of-the-week underneath it all.  I mean, come on, don’t these characters watch movies?  Don’t they know not to take someone they barely know into their home no matter how innocent they may appear without doing an extensive background check?  Apparently it can be done as another character proves when things predictably get sketchy.  Most of all, don’t people in movies know to make sure the villain is really dead before leaving?  Apparently not if characters nowadays still make the same mistakes and the same movies are being made.  1/1/2017

---Sean O.

Mooby Reviews 12/26/16

Current film reviews:

The Bride                                                                    EH

This is basically a tamer I Spit On Your Grave ripoff involving an Apache princess reviving and possessing a slaughtered bride to take revenge on some backwoods rednecks.  The kills are kinda lame and the movie itself is a whole lotta lame.  Yawn.  12/26/2016

A Christmas Carol                                                      OK

‘Tis the season.  Here’s a black-and-white version from 1938 I never saw before.  I added it to my queue upon browsing under the holiday section.  Yes, I do like Christmas movies and not just the horror ones.  As much as I enjoy Black Christmas, Silent Night Deadly Night and Jack Frost, I also enjoy Home Alone, Elf and A Christmas Story (ironically Bob Clark directed this and the original Black Christmas).  I’m not prejudiced against old movies.  Good movies are good movies no matter how old.  How many damn versions of Charles Dickens’ holiday tale does there need to be?  If you never saw this one before, there’s nothing you haven’t seen in the innumerous subsequent versions.  My personal favorite adaptations include A Muppet Christmas Carol, Scrooged and the Mickey Mouse version I grew up with.  It’s only 69 minutes as well, so if you decide to give this one a try, it won’t take up too much time.  Included on the DVD were two short films.  One called Christmas Party is simply a bittersweet short involving kids having food together at MGM studios.  The other is a surprisingly grim cartoon called Peace on Earth about a cheery post-apocalyptic world inhabited solely by animals implying life is much better without humans.  12/21/2016

Imperium                                                                     G

I guess “Harry Potter” can act.  I know his name is Daniel Radcliffe but he will always be known as the adapted literary wizard.  Here, he infiltrates a white supremacist community to prevent another Oklahoma bombing.  Some of the Nazis are more intelligent than usual in being suspicious of his possible infiltration.  This isn’t as hard or gritty as American History X but it’s definitely more thrilling and suspenseful.  In contrast to movies being lame until the ending (twist or not), this movie was good until the everything-wrapped-in-a-neat-little-bow ending.  Everything concluded as expected by both the characters and audience.  (I know it’s based on a true story but movies are allowed to be somewhat fabricated and what isn’t based on fact anymore?).  That’s what prevented it from being very good instead of good.  12/18/2016

Kubo and the Two Strings                                           VG

Released from the same studio that put out two of my favorite modern movies, Coraline and Paranorman, this film is definitely a winner.  I loved this movie!  It continuously amazes as it progresses.  While it’s still too soon to call it one of my favorite movies like the aforementioned two, it’s definitely one of the year’s best.  It better win best animated feature!  This was much better than the average Moana.  I’m gonna start looking forward to what Laika Studios churns out.  Not only is Coraline one of my favorite books but I love the movie as well.  I loved Paranorman more each viewing; the first time I didn’t love it so Kubo might just end up being one of my faves.  The Boxtrolls was kinda blah but I didn’t hate it.  One (below average) out of four movies is far from failing for Laika.  I’m Team Japan over Team Polynesia come awards season.  12/23/2016

Nocturnal Animals                                                      G

The beginning is certainly attention-grabbing albeit unwarranted, unless you enjoy seeing nude overweight women dancing.  Anyway, this thriller containing a story-within-a-story is an example where the performances outweigh the script.  Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Shannon (as ugly as he always was) are phenomenal and elevate the stale material immensely.  Usually I don’t pay particular attention to acting as much as content but I guess I do when it’s this good.  (I guess I should say I notice acting when it’s either really good or really bad).  I’m not saying I didn’t actually enjoy the story itself, I just didn’t feel it offered anything fresh.  The ending slightly seemed inconclusive but gave me something to think about.  12/15/2016

Phantasm:  Ravager                                                   G

The fifth and final film for the Phantasm franchise.  Newbies will undoubtedly have no idea what they’re getting into but if you haven’t seen any of the preceding movies, I don’t see why you would care to see this.  As a standalone movie, it’s pretty good.  I was never really a huge fan of this phranchise to begin with.  I liked the first one but didn’t love it.  It felt more sci-fi than horror to me.  I did see all the sequels but can’t remember too much about them.  I don’t recall hating them but if none of them stand out, they couldn’t have been too great either.  A few flashbacks are sprinkled throughout but I still think novices will feel as confused as anyone entering the Tall Man’s dimension.  It’s suggested that the entire storyline may have all been in Reggie’s (ice cream man, main character in franchise) head.  Whether or not that’s true, I was still fascinated by the bouncing back and forth between the Tall Man’s world and perceived reality.  The iconic spherical balls cause plenty of carnage here; go out with a bang I say.  I’d be curious to hear the opinion of someone watching this before the other four.  As of current memory, I only seem to like the first and last one.  Perhaps I need to have a Phantasm marathon to refresh my memory now that all is concluded?  I met Reggie Bannister; very nice guy.  R.I.P. Angus Scrimm.  12/23/2016

Spa Night                                                                    EH/OK

There’s a part in this movie where the protagonist shadows a family friend at his college for a day.  That’s exactly what I felt I was doing with this closeted Korean-American character as he lived his mundane life working at a health spa contemplating going to a college his hard-up parents can’t afford all at once.  He was obviously closeted but never embraced it nor came to terms with it.  I’m a huge fan of slice-of-life flicks.  They have to be compelling though and I didn’t find this guy’s life interesting at all.  Maybe that was the point?  To depict most people live lives they don’t necessarily want in order to get by?  Fine and dandy, but if I’m going to shadow someone I don’t want to be bored.  12/15/2016

Suicide Squad                                                              OK

Well, this certainly wasn’t as bad as other critics proclaimed.  It has good characterization, enough action that’s not endlessly annoying, and a diverse cast.  How are you gonna have the First Nations actor from Smoke Signals and Wind Talkers named after a metal band and eliminate him right away?  Where are all the indigenous American protesters?  Anyway, while not as bad as other recent superhero garbage (Batman vs. Superman, Iron Man movies, many others I’m sure) it still overstays it’s welcome and is not my preferred cup of tea.  I still say give it a shot and decide for yourself.  At least I didn’t contemplate doing the first half of the title while watching.  12/20/2016

The Unspoken                                                             OK

Wow, my rating surely changed by the end.  Initially it went from EH to B to OK.  Begins as a standard haunted house film with a tragic history incorporating elements of Poltergeist and Monster House in a “poor man’s fashion.”  There’s a rather clever twist that not only makes the movie better but might make me have to revisit.  This is one of those rare examples where a twist works in a movie’s favor.  However, in contrast to movies being good until a twist ruins it, this wasn’t good enough beforehand to warrant a better rating.  Like I said though, if I ever watch it again knowing the twist, I might have a different opinion.  I particularly liked the nails-through-the-floor attack.  12/15/2016

Witchery                                                                      EH

A title like that starring Linda Blair and David Hasselhoff from the late ‘80’s involving some form of Hell?  Why the hell wasn’t this a better movie?  This is basically a poorly-shot, poorly-edited, slightly incoherent mess that probably looked really good on paper.  12/24/2016

---Sean O.

Mooby Reviews 12/13/16

Here's my current film critiques:

The Amityville Terror                                                  OK/G

I had very low hopes for a movie with Amityville in the title not associated with the franchise.  It was a horror movie through Redbox I hadn’t seen and I had a code to use so I took a chance.  It actually wasn’t too bad.  The special effects people clearly don’t know how to make a burning person look authentic.  Those fire effects were awful.  Some things actually turned out slightly different than I imagined.  Still just okay.  If you have a Redbox code and are unsure what to get, why not?  The only thing you’ll end up wasting is time if you feel like you made the wrong choice.  12/7/2016

The BFG                                                                     OK/G

Roald Dahl was one of my favorite authors at one point.  What am I talking about?  He’s always been a good writer and always will be whether written for children or adults.  I remember liking the book this movie was based on and recalled some of it while watching.  It’s been over a decade since I last read it (yes, I’ve read his books more than once; Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is one of my favorite books).  This movie had a decent amount of fun and lots of imagination.  I’m still not quite a fan of merging live-action with computer-generated imagery; it makes you remember you’re watching a movie.  I don’t remember watching the animated movie (from 1989) so I can’t compare the two.  I guess I expected more being based on a renowned late author’s novel directed by the renowned Mr. Spielberg.  I will say that one part made the child in me laugh for about three minutes.  It involved dogs and frobscottle.  12/8/2016

Jack Goes Home                                                         OK/G

Decent psychological thriller starring one of the younger Culkin brothers.  Attention-holding despite being generic and containing an overdone twist.  Perhaps if it remained tonally consistent and shaved off a few minutes…it almost works.  12/12/2016

Kicks                                                                           VG

All the unnecessary violence in this movie over a pair of sneakers?!  Goes to show that the environment we live in can dictate how we handle such situations.  This is probably the best movie in recent memory about life in the ‘hood since Menace II Society and Boyz n the Hood before that.  Good stuff.  Compelling.  12/10/2016

The Land                                                                     G

Two ‘hood movies in one blog!  This time it takes place in Cleveland where the biggest threat seems to be a biker gang controlled by a middle-aged woman that runs a food stand.  While this wasn’t as raw as Kicks, it doesn’t mean it’s any less real.  Four skaters hope to escape their neighborhood by being discovered by sponsors at competitions.  In order for them to do that they need money.  First, they rob cars and sell them.  When one of the cars contains drugs (owned by food stand lady) they see that as an easier way to make money.  Of course things never end peachy for everyone when the drug owner comes after those that take them.  Produced (amongst many) by Nas and containing a slightly unrecognizable Erykah Badu, the director has a promising career ahead if this is his first feature.  All those kids wanted to do was skate.  Does it have to be so hard for people to accomplish their dreams no matter where they come from?  12/13/2016

Pete’s Dragon                                                             OK/G

Well, this certainly isn’t as corny as the original from memory.  There’s no singing.  The dragon isn’t animated amongst live-action.  It is CGI and has the ability to become invisible.  I expect dragons to blow fire and cause death and destruction.  That’s why there’s movies like Reign of Fire.  This is a family movie.  The dragon does cause some damage by breathing fire at one point.  That part was cool.  The cinematography is breath-taking but ultimately this is harmless fluff for all ages.  12/12/2016

The Remains                                                               OK/G

This was a decent haunted house film.  The house is cool and the characters are mostly likable.  The significance of the giant dollhouse in the hallway is never quite explained which makes me wonder why it was even present at all.  There is no happy ending which is always welcome.  Not all movies have to end peachy-keen.  Life itself sure isn’t always.  12/7/2016

Siren                                                                            G

A spinoff that’s actually good.  Originally a segment in V/H/S/ featuring the titular creature.  We’re presented with the origins of the winged demon that paralyzes and kills men after singing.  Usually when someone promises a better “hotspot” that’s exclusive and located away from civilization, it doesn’t end well.  I generally enjoyed this movie though.  There’s a considerable sense of dread.  The first V/H/S/ wasn’t the best anthology to begin with.  Perhaps other segments will get expansions?  12/7/2016

Yoga Hosers                                                                EH

Kevin Smith was one of my favorite directors at one time.  That was pre-Jersey Girl with the exception of Clerks II.  I think Hollywood warped his indie mentality.  Jersey Girl wasn’t too bad but it still wasn’t a signature Smith movie.  Zack and Miri was decent but *see previous comment*.  Cop Out was awful.  Red State was decent but Kevin clearly wasn’t ready to make a horror movie yet.  Tusk was pretty good.  I think this might be his worst yet.  The two Colleens (one played by Smith’s daughter, the other is Johnny Depp’s) who made an appearance in Tusk get their own movie here.  They battle Bratzis (miniature bratwurst Nazis filled with sauerkraut when stomped, sliced and eradicated in any possible way) in a Canadian convenience store.  The Bratzis are quite detestable and irritating.  I didn’t find them interesting one bit.  Everyone in this movie seems to be juvenile dunderheads.  The blatant “Canadian-speak” wears off quickly and got on my last nerve.  I doubt any Canadian ever speaks that way.  Funny how Kevin Smith’s first movie over 20 years ago was more mature and brilliant.  If this had been his first movie, he would’ve never had a filmmaking career.  I miss those days when he was a (fellow) Jersey independent filmmaker.  I never listened to any of his Smodcasts.  My poor time management doesn’t allow me to listen to any podcast as much as I would like to.  Perhaps fans of his Smodcasts are more tailored to this kind of movie?  I sure am not.  According to the end credits, the two Colleens will return in another movie helmed by Mr. Smith called Moose Jaws.  I sure hope it’s a lot better than this, eh?  12/7/2016

---Sean O.

Mooby Reviews 12/4/16

Here's some current film reviews:

Front Cover                                                                G

Pretty good realistic portrayal of being gay in the modern world involving an open Chinese-American and a closeted Chinese actor in New York.  It shows how some people still have to be discreet in certain cultures and industries.  The mildly depressing ending further emphasizes the harsh world we sometimes have to hide our true selves in.  The movie ultimately shows that certain struggles are universal.  12/3/2016

The Gateway                                                               G

I actually did enjoy this unheard-of indie film released through Uncork’d Entertainment which is known for releasing (generally) below-average horror flicks.  A few minor plotholes aside, it had my attention during its scant 74 minutes.  The practical creature(s) isn’t too bad either and the evolution of it is quite intriguing albeit mildly perplexing.  11/28/2016

Moana                                                                         G

This wasn’t as good as Inside Out.  I have to see every Disney movie that comes out.  At least that’s one thing I never grew out of.  What am I talking about?  I’m very young at heart.  This film looks amazing for an animation.  With Disney’s name attached, I expect nothing less!  Moana would be a better example of female empowerment over the Ghostbusters remake which basically rubbed feminism in our faces.  There’s some funny moments (kids laughed in the theater) and some of the songs are catchy but most of them are dull.  Much of the film is silly and appears to be solely for the young’uns and not their adult counterparts.  I guess I’m not so young at heart after all?  Shut up, yes I am!  I can’t find it in my mostly-darkened heart to ever truly dislike a Disney movie.  Although I did dislike Cars and Cars 2 and apparently a 3^rd one is coming out!  It better be better than the first two!  I liked this when all was said and done.  I just don’t think it’s going to be remembered along the same lines as Disney classics (The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty, Aladdin and many others) of yesteryear.  11/29/2016

Night of the Living Deb                                               OK/G

Another zombie movie?  Cribs the title from the George Romero classic but is more in tune with Shaun of the Dead.  I liked the two protagonists.  It was funny and fun tagging along.  It becomes conventional once more characters enter the picture.  I would’ve enjoyed this more if it revolved solely around Deb and the “one-night stand” guy.  There is a slight twist at the end that puts the entire movie in a different light.  It’s not jaw-dropping by any means, just makes it a slightly different movie and I kind of dug it.  11/28/2016

Nine Lives                                                                   OK/G

This body-switch film is actually quite creative at times and Kevin Spacey is quite convincing as a cat.  It’s funny sometimes too.  It’s cliché as hell too.  It contains the typical I didn’t realize how good I had it in my other body plus I observe how nasty I may have been to those around me revelation present in these types of films.  It wasn’t the worst I’ve seen.  Kiddies will probably enjoy it.  Cat lovers might too.  Everyone else will most likely wish this is the only lifetime (not the next eight!) they’ll see this movie.  11/30/2016

The Ones Below                                                          EH

Do we really need another Rosemary’s Baby imitator?  Maybe if it was actually worthy unlike this movie.  No curveballs thrown here.  Good fences make good neighbors unless you live in an apartment, half-house or condo.  12/3/2016

Paperhouse                                                                 G

I can’t believe I never saw this late 80’s film directed by the same guy that made Candyman.  This film was imaginative and thoroughly enjoyable.  There’s sappy moments but there’s also dark moments and a dash of suspense.  I mean, who wouldn’t want to escape to a world they concocted when their own world is getting to them?  11/29/2016

Summertime                                                                OK

Just because it’s a good story doesn’t mean it needs to be feature-length.  This French film about a lesbian romance amidst women’s rights in the early 70’s fits that description perfectly.  It points out some of the hypocrisies of movements like women’s rights and depicts how same-sex relationships were still considered perverted not that long ago, but it didn’t need to be so boring.  Many short stories and short films have provided long-lasting messages and influences.  This film would’ve benefitted from a shorter format.  11/28/2016

The Unbidden                                                             EH/OK

Ever imagined The Joy Luck Club as a horror movie?  Yes, that was a racist joke because, after all, only honkies (regardless of sexuality) can be racist right?  Barely a horror movie and more of a drama involving a murder all the Asian women keep secret for years (one of them appeared to be Caucasian when younger but became at least half-Asian when older?---whatever, all the older women were pale-skinned anyway).  Oh, there is a ghost that isn’t really involved until the end.  Although I expected a straight-up horror movie (it was marketed as such and in the horror section on Redbox), it doesn’t make for a bad dramatic thriller.  Far from perfect and ends sappily.  When most of the cast and crew are Asian-American and involved in something subpar like this, I am going to mention the race!  I love Asian horror movies and many different Asian foods.  I hate everyone, leave me alone!  11/28/2016

---Sean O.