I Like Moobies

Wednesday, October 9, 2024

V/H/S/Beyond

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see. I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future). You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).

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V/H/S/Beyond G

This is the seventh film of the anthology franchise! Ninth if you include the two spin-offs! [The only other ones I reviewed were V/H/S/99, as a haiku review, in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2022/11/speak-no-evil.html, and V/H/S/85 in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2023/11/vhs85.html; in the latter review, you’ll see my ratings only for the other four, plus links to reviews of the spin-offs, Siren and Kids vs. Aliens]. I’ll admit I wasn’t too enthused upon hearing this one was going to be more sci-fi; don’t get me wrong, I like my fair share of sci-fi flicks---The Faculty, Annihilation (review of that in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/03/mooby-reviews-3818.html), Alien isn’t bad (just the first one from memory), and I guess pretty much any movie with aliens would count (in that case, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Night of the Creeps, Critters, Attack the Block, E.T., Mac and Me, lol, just to name some)---and it could very well be a cousin genre to horror, but I guess I’m just not a fan of hokey special effects, especially digital ones, often associated with them (even practical ones have been corny too, John Carpenter’s The Thing being an example, the effects the main reason I’m not a fan of it). Sci-fi as a theme though, I’m all for (to me, The Twilight Zone is a better series than The Outer Limits). This film certainly had otherworldly elements, but obviously caters to the horror crowd, given the franchise’s roots. The wraparound segment is presented as a docuseries about alien encounters, the other segments “recordings” of such encounters. It starts off with a bang in an entry that plays like a shoot ‘em up zombie videogame in a derelict house; the undead, or whatever they are, have a distinct look (they aren’t the only creatures here either); bloody good fun segment that does not disappoint. The second one was probably my least fave. It takes place in India (yes, that means subtitles) and involves a female pop singer with a deadly secret; it’s rather formulaic, but very gory (seems like a tactic often used these days to compensate for what lacks in the script). The third one was another good one involving a birthday skydiving excursion gone wrong, very wrong. Those that make it on the ground aren’t safe from harm either. The extraterrestrials here undoubtedly give the ones in the V/H/S/2 segment, as well as its spin-off (Kids vs. Aliens), a hefty run for their money, and probably most evil aliens in entertainment. I wish this segment was longer (hey, Kids vs. Aliens happened). The next one involved a dog lady with a rather sinister agenda. This one was probably the least sci-fi, although likely qualifies conceptually, a concept not exactly unique, but, again, the violence that occurs makes the segment a little more unique. Lastly, a girl filming in the Mojave Desert enters a spaceship that, at first, appears to have beneficial advantages, but notice how I put ‘at first’ in big bold letters! This one should’ve been a bit longer; not that I wanted it to be, but it should’ve because it felt a bit lacking (I didn’t dislike it though, nor did I any of them). Like many an anthology, it may not have been perfect collectively (as least two of the segments were great though), but I enjoyed it enough, more than I thought given I wasn’t looking forward to it too much, to recommend it. 10/4/2024

Bonus reviews:

Hold Your Breath OK/G

Southern gothic film on Hulu taking place in Oklahoma during the 1930s (shot in New Mexico though). A woman (Sarah Paulson) lives with her two daughters on a farm while her husband is away working. Dust storms occur frequently which can make one sick, maybe even die if caught in one (hence they try sealing every crevice in the house during them). An entity may be in these storms too, based on a ghost story the young girls read. There was a very eerie quality to this film, a pervading sense of unease, which I did admire. It does end up feeling clichéd though, style ultimately trumping substance, but such style it does have…10/3/2024

It’s What’s Inside EH/OK

Ever wanted to be someone else? A group of friends get to do just that in this Netflix thriller when they get together the night before a wedding. One of their friends whom they haven’t seen for a while (you’ll see why) brings a machine that somehow allows them all to switch bodies with someone else in attendance. There was something I admired about this film, there really was, in that it defied expectations, in addition to being well-shot with some nice use of color here and there. I liked how it didn’t go the body count route it was set up to be, and what I thought it would be (there are deaths though, but not in the way you think). However…this made me think too much, and not in the way meaningful discussions will be generated afterwards, but in the way you need to stop watching several times to take notes and keep track of everything. There’s eight people you need to follow and I couldn’t take keeping up with who was who and when, even though they did have pictures of the real people attached to the bodies they were in, occasionally showing the real people in a parallel shot (that aforementioned nice use of color). I couldn’t imagine reading this in a book (it’s not, it was written and directed by Greg Jardin, this being his feature-length debut), because if it was confusing watching this all visually…cue head shake! Mr. Jardin, clearly you have ambition, but you tried a little too hard here, buddy. 10/4/2024

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Blackwater Lane >>>EH

Didi (2024) >>>OK/G

(Sometimes in Mandarin with subtitles)

King on Screen >>>OK

Sasquatch Sunset >>>OK

---Sean O.

10/9/2024

Thursday, October 3, 2024

Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey II

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Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey II OK

Sequel to the much-maligned predecessor (released last year) nominated for five Razzie Awards and winning all five, including worst picture! I don’t understand why it was hated as much as it was; I probably wrote one of the nicest reviews for it (which you can read in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2023/10/zombie-townpet-sematary-bloodlines.html). Everyone is their own critic though, right? [I don’t understand all the hate (and Razzies) Showgirls got either, while shite like Oppenheimer won so many praiseworthy awards; I probably gave that one of the most scathing reviews in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2024/02/bad-cgi-gator.html]. Now, even though I was very curious (and, undeniably, somewhat anxious) about this sequel, my expectations weren’t that high, but they were a bit higher than low because critics said this was an improvement over the first one (which, again, I didn’t think was that horrible). [This one, as of this writing, received a 46% rating on Rotten Tomatoes out of 41 critics, whereas part one only got 3% out of 62 critics]. Well, I didn’t think it was better than the first one. I didn’t dislike it; there is violence, to be sure, some of it worthy. It was an okay follow-up. The director is still the same, but it did feel like a different movie (still being a slasher movie though). Owl and Tigger join in on the mayhem this time; both of them talk too (Piglet spoke at one time as well); Owl kind of reminded me of the Creeper from Jeepers Creepers. Pooh and Piglet both have different looks (Pooh looking meaner, Piglet looking worse than before), and Christopher Robin is played by a different actor. Plus, we get a backstory on the creatures, one blatantly cribbed from another movie I won’t reveal in case of a spoiler. I can’t say this was an unnecessary sequel, given the franchise, but I was a teensy little bit disappointed since I expected it to be better. That’s just my opinion though, right? And that’s what I get for listening to other critics, right? *wink* A third film was already mentioned shortly after this one’s release. Obviously I’m going to watch it. OCD aside, I am still curious…10/2/2024

Bonus reviews:

What You Wish For G

Culinary thriller that was better than I thought it would be; I enjoyed it more than The Menu. In it, Nick Stahl plays a chef that leaves the States (for a reason) to meet up with a buddy in some Spanish-speaking country. He eventually has to prepare a meal for a group of rich people, and let’s just say some of the ingredients demanded are a little specific. 10/1/2024

Horror’s Greatest

New docuseries on Shudder containing five episodes (roughly ranging from 50-60 minutes each; all now available) covering different horror film categories/topics, they being Tropes and Clichés, Giant Monsters, Japanese Horror, Horror Comedies, and Stephen King Adaptations, in that order. I always enjoy talking about horror and hearing others give their two cents (several people do here), so I didn’t dislike this series, even when films I either haven’t seen or disliked were discussed (like many in the Giant Monsters episode). I can’t believe they didn’t include Idle Hands in the Horror Comedies segment, which is not only underrated, but one of the best horror comedies! They didn’t discuss any of the Chucky movies in that episode either (I only recall a brief clip of Bride of Chucky)! They should’ve discussed the original Pet Sematary in the Stephen King Adaptations one too, not just include it on an extra list they showed in every episode (it should’ve also been on the ‘Must See’ titles at the end instead of Doctor Sleep and the IT remake)! And there was no talk of the original IT, which is much better than both parts of the remake (which was discussed)! Personal opinions aside, I still enjoyed this series enough to recommend for horror fans. I’d welcome more episodes, even if they were continuations of some of these (Stephen King Adaptations, as an example, could definitely be covered in more than one hour episode). [F.Y.I., it is assumed you’ve seen all the titles discussed, so there are spoilers]. 9/24/2024

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Amp House Massacre >>>EH

The Collingswood Story >>>OK

The Ghost and Mr. Chicken >>>OK/G

Oddity >>>OK/G

Rez Ball >>>EH

(Netflix)

Sleep (2024) >>>OK/G

(In Korean with subtitles)

---Sean O.

10/3/2024

Thursday, September 19, 2024

In a Violent Nature/The Watchers

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In a Violent Nature OK

Slasher flick, directed by Chris Nash (ABCs of Death 2 segment), wherein we follow the killer instead of the victims. We don’t see the POV á la young Michael Myers in the beginning of Halloween, but simply follow him (Johnny) more than we do any of the potential victims. We do follow other characters at times, yes, but not as much. Why didn’t we follow him every inch of the way if that was the intention though? [Why did we witness one kill from afar?]. Would it have worked effectively though, I wonder, in a roughly 94-minute feature, given the characters (a.k.a potential victims) are part of what makes these often plotless, mindless movies appealing? This isn’t like Maniac or Sleepaway Camp 2 and 3 either where the killer we follow actually has a personality; this killer is the silent type akin to Jason Voorhees. [I’d be curious to see how much different, although likely indistinguishable, this would be if executed typically]. The kills too, of course, play a very important factor in these movies, and the majority of kills here are pretty brutal; one, specifically, I can’t say I’ve ever seen done before (and I’ve seen my fair share of slasher movies), one that would likely give Victor Crowley a run for his money. Part of me did admire this, but another part of me expected better. [In true slasher fashion, a sequel was already mentioned two months after its theatrical release]. 9/13/2024

The Watchers OK

I read the novel by A.M. Shine a couple months ago before this adaptation was released theatrically (I don’t know why I feel the need to do that, but I prefer reading an adapted novel before seeing the adaptation, not vice versa). The novel was decent, not great, at least not enough to want to see this adaptation right away, directed and written for the screen by one of M. Night Shyamalan’s daughters, Ishana (M. Night was also one of the producers). It’s possibly a little too faithful to the source material, therefore I think you should only choose one medium, your choice obviously based on whether you prefer reading or watching (the book did feel like you spent more time with the characters, but that’s often the case). In it, four people become trapped in these woods in West Ireland wherein they must stay inside a house at night (dubbed The Coop) to avoid being attacked by the titular creatures; they’re free to roam outside during the day. The film does look good (as if Ishana wouldn’t have the means), but, even if I hadn’t read the book, it is still a rather typical scenario in which a group of people are stuck in a predicament, they need to learn to survive, and they may or may not escape (just a matter of how and when). There is a twist too (the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, huh?), and, whether you read the book or not (like I said, this adaptation is very faithful), it shouldn’t be too surprising even if you didn’t see it coming. This may not have been a masterpiece, but it wasn’t terrible, it was okay (as my rating indicates), pretty much how I felt about the novel; it does seem like an instance where I, more often, preferred the written word over the visuals (some of the creature effects being a prime example). Ishana has potential though; if anything, her directorial debut was definitely better than daddy’s last effort (you can read my review for it in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2024/08/trap.html). 9/17/2024

Bonus review:

Handling the Undead EH

I did read the book of the same name by John Ajvide Lindqvist, once dubbed “Sweden’s Stephen King,” in which this Norwegian film is based (yes, that means subtitles). I read it over ten years ago though and don’t really remember much, so I went into this blind which is how I should (even though I do feel the need to read the book before seeing certain adaptations). In this, the dead inexplicably return to life (seemingly after a power outage), and the focus is on three separate families. They don’t appear hostile as other zombies tend to be, at least not at first (PETA would certainly be up in arms over one scene); they’re simply just (ahem) dead, in more than one way. It is a horror-drama, emphasis on the drama; the appearance of a few zombies is the sole aspect labeling it as horror. The film is very slow, but I had a feeling it might’ve eventually lead somewhere, and not just because I read the book. I didn’t take much from this film other than what I assume to be that “sometimes dead is better,” like the quote used in Pet Sematary (a much better film involving the undead, and I do hope you know I mean the original only). I do remember not liking the book as much as the author’s previous novel, Let the Right One In (which was adapted into one of my favorite vampire movies), but I don’t remember being as disappointed as I was with this underdeveloped film (perhaps a re-read is in order). 9/18/2024

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Boy Kills World >>>EH/OK

The Perfect Couple >>>EH

(Netflix; 6 episodes)

We Are Zombies >>>OK

Wonka >>>OK

---Sean O.

9/19/2024

Wednesday, September 11, 2024

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

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Beetlejuice Beetlejuice G

I remember when Beetlejuice came out. I didn’t see it in the theater (I was almost 6!), but it was really popular when it came out on video. I remember the animated TV show that came out a year later too; I watched it religiously (I even remember happy meal toys they had at, I believe, Burger King). [I bought the entire television series on DVD about ten years ago, recently re-watching it a couple months ago in “preparation” for this sequel; I got up to the beginning of season four, season four containing way more episodes than the first three seasons combined. Beetlejuice is actually more irritating in the cartoon, but I do still love that late 80s/early 90s drawing style. You can watch the animated series on Tubi now, by the way, meaning free, with ads]. Is this sequel, released 36 years later (!), worth it? Considering the huge gap, I’d say it was pretty decent; it contains plenty of Burton’s signature touch and actually feels like a direct sequel as opposed to a remake. It probably helped that at least three of the original cast returned (including the eponymous “ghost with the most”), and, more importantly, Tim Burton directed again, as well as (frequent collaborator) Danny Elfman scoring once again. It wasn’t a perfect film (i.e. the animated sequence showing what befell patriarch Charles Deetz---I just wasn’t a fan of the style and expected something better and/or different from the director, and the musical scene at the end may have been a bit odd; only a bit), but there were more pros than cons for me. [Hell, as much of a cult following the first one has, it’s not perfect, nor even the best Burton flick, but it’s fun and I’m a fan; not just for nostalgic reasons either]. Tim certainly needed a comeback after the flop that was Dumbo, my least favorite film of his (you can read my review for it in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2019/04/dumbo.html), and I’d say this and Wednesday (my review for that is in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2022/11/wednesday-season-1chucky-season-2.html) adequately solidified his welcome return. 9/10/2024

Bonus review:

The Deliverance EH

New Netflix movie directed by Lee Daniels (Precious) involving a family of five (a woman, her three kids, her mother) that just moved into a home in Pittsburgh, said house being haunted. Starting off as what could’ve been a cozy horror flick eventually drowns in a bog of clichés (i.e. the youngest child talks to an “imaginary friend”), cribbing from The Amityville Horror, The Exorcist, and fill in the blank here __________ with basically any possession/exorcism movie. There’s a happy ending to top it all off and it’s “based on a true story.” Eye-roll. 9/3/2024

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Behave (2024) >>>EH/OK

The Demon Disorder >>>OK

(Shudder)

The Garfield Movie >>>EH/OK

Imaginary >>>EH

Rebel Ridge >>>EH

(Netflix)

Terror Tuesday: Extreme (Season One) >>>EH/OK

(Netflix; 8 episodes; In Thai with subtitles)

---Sean O.

9/11/2024

Monday, September 2, 2024

Strange Darling

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Strange Darling OK

A thriller in six parts. That’s what we’re told we are watching when the title appears on the screen in the beginning. [Apparently this is based on real events that happened between 2018 and 2020 (I think those were the years mentioned)]. The six parts aren’t presented chronologically. Something revealed a little later makes it a different movie than initially thought, thereby making it less harrowing than I initially thought it could be (certain twists just aren’t that effective anymore). Going the nonlinear route is the only thing preventing this from being a very ordinary flick with not too many surprises, violent or not (and it is violent). Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the structure (Quentin Tarantino is one of my favorite filmmakers), and I didn’t dislike this film, not at all (I’ll probably watch it again eventually and might think it’s better; it’s happened enough times before), but I just didn’t think it was particularly exceptional when all was said and done. 8/27/2024

Bonus review:

Suitable Flesh OK

Imagine Freaky Friday written by H.P. Lovecraft. It is based on a short story by the late author (“The Thing on the Doorstep,” which I don’t recall reading, but I do own a collection of Lovecraft stories), but I wouldn’t say it’s entirely Lovecraftian. It’s basically a body switch movie like the aforementioned title, akin to something like Jason Goes to Hell as well. Basically, an evil entity switches bodies with others whenever it chooses to (there is a procedure, of course). I was curious to see how it all panned out, but nothing much is done with the concept, making it appear simple, trite even; it’s roughly 100-minutes too. It might’ve sufficed more as a half-hour episode in an anthology show. 8/28/2024

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Exploited (2022) >>>EH

Hell Hole (2024) >>>OK

(Shudder)

Incoming (2024) >>>EH

(Netflix)

Kinds of Kindness >>>G

Milk & Serial >>>OK

(Available on YouTube)

Snow Falls >>>EH/OK

Something in the Water (2024) >>>OK

---Sean O.

9/2/2024

Tuesday, August 20, 2024

The Mouse Trap

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The Mouse Trap EH

Mickey Mouse as the killer in a slasher movie? I had to. Taking place in an arcade? I had to. Just being a slasher movie I had to. I didn’t have much hope though after the spoofy beginning explaining Disney wanted nothing to do with this film and that this film wasn’t associated with the company. This is an uninspired barely 80-minute feature turning yet another children’s property into a horror flick (I’m beginning to think the much maligned Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey is the only one that somewhat succeeded so far; you can read my review for that in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2023/10/zombie-townpet-sematary-bloodlines.html). I know, I know, what should I have expected from a slasher movie made in 2024 featuring Mickey Mouse as the killer? Well, true, I didn’t expect much from a slasher movie made in 2024 featuring Mickey Mouse as the killer, but you can’t always use the ‘what did you expect?’ excuse. Trust me, I’ve liked my fair share of “so-bad-its-good/watchable” movies. I expected something better than this. I have a feeling there might be more coming though (as of now, I saw no plans). If so, perhaps this one won’t feel as lacking…8/11/2024

Bonus review:

The Black Mass EH/OK

Another Ted Bundy film. According to Wikipedia, there are at least seven of them. Aside from some documentaries, the only one I recall ever seeing was the 2002 film (Ted Bundy); I am interested in checking out the TV movie, The Stranger Beside Me, featuring Billy Campbell. This only features one part of his killing spree during the end of the Seventies at a sorority house in Florida. Serial killers. Why do we continue to promote them? Yes, needless to say, you don’t have to watch them, or read about them, and I or anyone else would likely feel differently if we personally knew one of the victims. [I can’t deny I watch them either, my favorites being Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer and 2003’s Monster; I don’t count The Texas Chainsaw Massacre since it was “inspired” by Ed Gein as opposed to being directly based off him]. Speaking of victims, since these films are going to be made, why not spend more time focusing on the victims instead of the killer since the general population usually only remembers the killer and rarely any of the victims? I think humanizing them would make it much more harrowing, causing us to feel for them and those affected. That’s what I liked about one episode of the Netflix Dahmer series when they focused on one particular victim (you can read my review for that series in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2022/10/beastdahmerhellraiser.html). That being said, this film barely gave us enough time to get to know any of the victims (even though a post credits message claimed the creators see the victims and those affected, not him), or even Ted himself (it is assumed you already know about him), and you’d think more time would’ve been devoted to humanizing the female victims, this being directed by a female. Even if you take away the whole Ted Bundy aspect though and this were simply a film about a psycho attacking a sorority house, it would feel totally lacking (at barely even 80-minutes), despite having some gruesome parts more gruesome than I expected. 8/18/2024

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The Bench (2024) >>>EH

Cinderella’s Revenge >>>OK

The Final Terror >>>B/EH

IF >>>EH

Immaculate (2024) >>>EH

The Trip (2023) (dir. Dean Jacobs) >>>EH

(Available on YouTube)

---Sean O.

8/20/2024

Thursday, August 8, 2024

Trap

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Trap EH

I read there was a twist in this before I saw it. Sometimes I wish people (critics or not) wouldn’t say that because then I’m going to try and figure it out; on the other hand, it does make me more curious. This is the latest from M. Night Shyamalan, a filmmaker that became famous for using twists, even though not all of his movies contain them (his last film, Knock at the Cabin, actually could’ve benefitted from one; you can read my review for that in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2023/03/knock-at-cabin.html). In it, Josh Hartnett plays a father taking his teen daughter to a Lady Raven concert, a pop singer played by M. Night’s daughter, Saleka, who wrote and performed the songs herself (and is an actual singer). In case you haven’t seen any previews or read about it, this concert is a (wait for it…) trap to catch a serial killer rumored to be in attendance. Even if you haven’t seen a preview (at least the one I did), the “twist” is obvious right away, therefore I don’t really think it’s a twist at all. Nothing much is done with it either, making this lack any kind of suspense; it goes on way longer than it should have too (I also think there may have been a poor attempt of a Friday the 13^th homage towards the end). This is a pedestrian effort that I don’t think would’ve even been greenlit had M. Night not been involved (of course the man is going to sell tickets!). I always said the only films of Mr. Shyamalan’s I wasn’t a fan of were Lady in the Water, The Last Airbender, and After Earth (yes, I’ve been more in favor of polarizing titles like The Village and The Happening), and, unfortunately, this one is now added to the list. Complete disappointment, M. Night. One man exiting the same screening told me he thought this was the best movie he’s done in years. I just told him, “I’m glad you thought so.” 8/6/2024

[Here are some reviews of other M. Night Shyamalan films aside from Knock above:

Split---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2017/01/mooby-reviews-12417.html

Glass---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2019/02/glass.html

Old---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2021/10/oldahs-double-feature.html]

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Fatal Games >>>EH

Model House >>>EH

Summering >>>OK

---Sean O.

8/8/2024

Sunday, August 4, 2024

Twisters

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Twisters OK/G

[POTENTIAL SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW]

Twister is not only one of the best, if not the best, tornado movies, but also natural disaster flick (Into the Storm is another pretty good one, one I feel is slightly underrated). This sequel bears no relation to it aside from some equipment named after The Wizard of Oz characters. Would that make it a remake then? A requel? Reimagining? It’s marketed as a sequel, but it kind of is a remake; the sequence of events are fairly similar---there’s a tragedy in the beginning, there are tornado scenes scattered here and there, we end with a grand finale, and previous failed attempts end up being successful. [In addition to tornado chasers, this time we get tornado wranglers---those who actually go into the tornado; and instead of sending warnings into the tornado, this time they aim to weaken them]. Some of the scientific jargon went right over my head (I’d be curious to hear a meteorologist’s view on this film), some of it is predictable, and it does suffer a bit from sequelitis (comparisons to the predecessor are inevitable), but that doesn’t mean it isn’t fun though. There isn’t much to expect from a tornado movie, and I think it delivers enough for me to give it a passing grade. It definitely didn’t seem like it was two hours. 7/30/2024

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Bag of Lies >>>B

Humane >>>OK

Sleeping Dogs (2024) >>>EH

Tarot (2024) >>>EH/OK

---Sean O.

8/4/2024

Thursday, July 25, 2024

True Detective: Night Country

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True Detective: Night Country OK

The first season of this anthology series is one of my favorite shows; I’ve watched it at least three times and I’ll probably revisit it again in the future. The second season sucked, and many agreed with me; I didn’t care about any of the characters (a “homophobic” character ends up being gay---how original!) or the entire season as a whole. The third season wasn’t bad (you can read my haiku review for it in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2019/02/overlord.html), but still wasn’t nearly as good as the first; basically just a once-and-done affair. That’s pretty much how I felt about this fourth season containing only six episodes, as opposed to eight the other three, all roughly an hour (the last one an extra 15-minutes), all directed by Issa Lopez (Tigers Are Not Afraid). The setting this time is the fictional town of Ennis, Alaska (filmed in Iceland) around Christmastime when it’s dark for 24 hours. The mystery here is what happened to a group of scientists (all men) that disappeared from a facility and are all eventually found dead in the snow, naked. The episodes are fine, for the most part; there are some supernatural elements belonging in a clichéd horror flick, and Jodie Foster’s character is sort of unlikeable (they succeeded if that was intended). The first part of the big reveal was lame and made me almost dislike the entire season, but the second part was a bit more compelling. All in all, I’d say it’s a fairly decent watch, but, like I said, just once-and-done. 7/24/2024

Bonus review:

Abigail OK

A group of people are hired to kidnap a young ballerina and babysit her for 24 hours in a secluded mansion in hopes of obtaining money from her wealthy father. If you’ve seen any previews or read about it I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say the little girl is actually a vampire and the “hunters become the hunted.” [If you somehow didn’t know it was a vampire movie, sorry for ruining it for you]. We do get to know all the characters quite well, and it is violent, there’s no doubt about that (the same duo also directed Ready or Not, plus Scream 5 and 6; respectively, you can read my reviews for those in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2019/12/ready-or-not.html, here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2022/01/last-night-in-sohoscream-2022.html, and here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2023/04/scream-vi.html). The violence is ultimately what it has going for it. It did get silly at times, more so than I thought it would be, and isn’t without its clichés (i.e. the inevitable jump scare, the overall motives); sometimes it’s predictable too. It’s far from being terrible, but I don’t think it belongs alongside the fanged cinema greats. R.I.P. Angus Cloud. 7/20/2024

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire >>>EH/OK

The Mean One >>>EH/OK

Silent Night (2023) >>>EH

---Sean O.

7/25/2024

Friday, July 19, 2024

Longlegs

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Longlegs G/VG

Maika Monroe plays an FBI agent tracking down the eponymous killer played by Nic Cage; their paths have crossed before, when she was a child. Families with a daughter born on the 14^th of any month tend to be the victims. Mr. Cage, unrecognizable, looks like a certain rock star, aged, one he’s been compared to before, at least in a meme; he’s an equal amount of creepy and bizarre, heavy emphasis on the latter; probably one of his most eccentric roles yet. It is a bleak film, often dimly lit, taking place in 1995 (I believe) in, I assume, Oregon (filmed in Canada though). I’ve heard comparisons to The Silence of the Lambs and Seven (ironically, that film came out in 1995), and I can understand that at times, but this isn’t entirely like either of those. Director Osgood Perkins, the son of “Norman Bates” himself, also gave us The Blackcoat’s Daughter, which wasn’t bad (my review is in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2017/06/mooby-reviews-61117.html; please take into account this was written years ago and I would heavily edit it now), I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House, which was okay (review in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2017/04/mooby-reviews-4317.html), and Gretel and Hansel, which I wasn’t a fan of (review in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2020/05/gretel-and-hansel.html). [His next film is an adaptation of the Stephen King short story, The Monkey]. I think this is his crowning achievement so far. I know I’m going to have to watch it again, not because it went over my head (I very much did take something from it), but because I know there were some things I probably missed while trying to absorb it all the first time. I should say I want to watch it again. 7/13/2024

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Arcadian >>>OK

Camp (2024) >>>EH/OK

(Tubi)

Camp Pleasant Lake >>>EH

The Hole in the Fence >>>EH

(In Spanish with subtitles)

Night Shift (2024) >>>OK

---Sean O.

7/19/2024

Thursday, July 11, 2024

Maxxxine

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Maxxxine OK

The third and final film in…is it The Ti West Trilogy or Mia Goth Trilogy? Either one would suffice given Ti directed all three and Mia starred in all three (I saw it called The X Trilogy somewhere. Whatever). It began with X (you can read my review for that here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2022/05/x.html) and followed with its prequel, Pearl (you can read my review for that in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2022/11/the-cellarpearl.html), just a couple months later in 2022. Now, you’ll see in my review of X that I wasn’t too big a fan when I first wrote about it. I gave Pearl a slightly better review, but still didn’t exactly praise it. You’ll also see in one or the other review that I said they might age better and I might appreciate them more over time. Well, I did grow rather fond of both and have seen them a couple times, thereby anticipating this chronological sequel to X. For some odd reason I thought X was a much better movie after watching Pearl, Pearl working more as a character study, the kills being a welcome addition. So was this, my most anticipated movie of 2024, a worthy addition to the trilogy? Well…it is a mixed bag, as one review I read said. There’s a much different feel this time, the setting being Los Angeles (actually filmed there too) instead of a farm in Texas (filmed in New Zealand), occurring in 1985 (during the time of the Night Stalker), six years after the events of X, wherein the titular character (Mia Goth resuming her role from X, with just one X in her name) has made a living as an actress before her past eventually catches up to her (namely the events in X). It’s marketed as a slasher movie, and, while people do die (the kills are fine), it barely even is. The revelation felt like a cop out; it’s a bit tacky, if you will. Now, I wouldn’t say I exactly disliked this film. I did admire that it didn’t go the typical slasher route the entire time, and I was curious as to how it would all play out since I really didn’t know what to expect; therefore, I was never bored. If it were a standalone film though I would likely think it rather lackluster; it didn’t really add anything substantial to the storyline, thereby making it seem a bit unnecessary. Who’s to say it won’t grow on me over time though given how much I grew to admire X and Pearl? As of now, it just wasn’t quite what I hoped for in this trilogy’s concluding entry. 7/9/2024

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

An Angry Boy >>>OK/G

Cellphone (2024) >>>EH

Monolith (2024) >>>OK

No Way Up >>>OK

Rock, Paper, Scissors (2019) >>>OK

We’re All Going to the World’s Fair >>>OK

---Sean O.

7/11/2024

Wednesday, July 3, 2024

The Bear (Season Three)

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The Bear (Season Three) OK/G

Although this series is entirely fictional it should make you appreciate dining out more, especially at fancy restaurants that make dishes so small (yet so expensive) with such precision and detail. [Sometimes I think certain dishes should be permanent works of art instead of eaten]. The setting this time is primarily the fancy titular restaurant as opposed to the sandwich shop in the previous seasons. It still contains the manic energy it’s known for, for the most part; seems like there were a few slow parts scattered throughout. I, personally, didn’t care for an entire episode devoted to the sister about to give birth in the hospital; maybe if it was only part of it. I am still a fan of this Hulu series though; I looked forward to each episode because, in the words of Forrest Gump, “you never know what you’re going to get.” I can appreciate a slice-of-life story, such as the episode wherein we see how one chef eventually started working for the restaurant. And I think we can all relate to Carmy (Jeremy Allen White a.k.a. “Gene Wilder”) when he feels the need to confront someone that irked his soul in the past, said person likely part of the reason for his demeanor. There are ten episodes again this season (all around 30-40 minutes each) and there is a fourth one coming, not only because the story hasn’t ended yet, but there was another one planned before this was even released (you can read my review for season two in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2023/09/the-bear-season-2.html). You’ll see in my review for the last season that I said I’d welcome at least another season; well, after another season, I want even more (and not just because it isn’t over). Bring it on! 6/30/2024

Bonus reviews:

Kung Fu Panda 4 OK

Four movies? Apparently I didn’t see the third one until I rectified that before watching. There are also at least three TV series’ and four shorts/specials, none of which I recall seeing, nor do I really have a desire to (except for maybe the holiday one which I’ll wait until that time of year to watch). I remember liking the first film when it came out, enough for me to purchase the DVD, and I gave it 3 out of 4 stars (back when I gave star ratings), according to my archives. Apparently I gave the second film 3 out of 4 stars as well, which would be equivalent to my G rating now. I definitely wouldn’t give either such ratings after rewatching them in preparation for this fourquel; I thought they were both just okay, kind of. They’re basically big, dumb action movies, animated. Funny how your opinion can change overtime; I understand when movies you liked as a kid not being as good when revisiting them, regardless of nostalgia, but I was very much an adult when watching those for the first time. I actually think the third one was the best based on watching these all now. In the first film, the titular panda “accidentally” becomes the Dragon Warrior in China and must battle foes to protect everyone. The same thing, by and large, happens in each film, this one no different. I wouldn’t necessarily say this was unnecessary, even though I don’t think four films, in addition to three shows and four specials, is exactly necessary for this franchise, because it is harmless and offers enough to entertain at least the younger crowd. I didn’t dislike this film, nor any of them really, but it was merely just an okay entry. [There was actually a funny East Asian-influenced instrumental version of “Crazy Train” that distracted me from what was happening during that scene because I was trying to pay attention to it]. 6/26/2024

Porch Pirate OK/G

Indie horror flick I heard about via Bloody Disgusting (great app for horror news, by the way). I don’t know if you remember hearing news stories about packages being stolen from homes, but someone in this film puts a little something in boxes for such thieves (“porch pirates”) that leads to nothing good, as two such men find out. Filmed in and around Philadelphia (one scene was filmed in Berlin, New Jersey), it was directed by Dorian Vasquez, who has worked on Mare of Easttown and Servant (you can read my review for Mare in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2021/09/mare-of-easttownthe-retreat.html, season one of Servant in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2020/04/servant-season-one.html, a haiku review of season two in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2021/03/pg-psycho-goreman.html, and a haiku review of both season three and four in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2023/06/black-mirror-season-six.html). This is obviously low-budget (one scene involving two of our protagonists beating someone up is extremely horrendous), but it is adequately engaging with enough of a creep factor to make it really not that bad. It’s barely 75-minutes and currently available on Reveel, an app which is free, with ads (just like Tubi). 6/26/2024

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Alice in Terrorland >>>B/EH

Bloodline Killer >>>EH

#ChadGetstheAxe >>>OK

The Devil’s Bath >>>EH/OK

(In German with subtitles)

Kung Fu Panda 3 >>>OK/G

Loop Track >>>OK/G

Night of Fear >>>EH

Somewhere Quiet >>>EH

Sting >>>OK

Unidentified Objects >>>OK/G

Wolves (2022) >>>OK

---Sean O.

7/3/2024

Saturday, June 22, 2024

Inside Out 2

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Inside Out 2 G

Inside Out was the last really good Pixar movie; Disney movie too, for that matter; it was well-written, fun, and ingenious. In it, we followed the emotions (those being Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust, and Anger) inside a young girl named Riley. Riley turns 13 in this one and you know what that means---puberty! With that comes new emotions, those being Anxiety, Envy, Embarrassment, and Ennui (Nostalgia makes at least two brief appearances as well). I read that the creators spoke to teenage girls for some authenticity, and while I’ve never obviously been a teenage girl (I was once a teenager though), I’d say they captured it quite well. Was this as good as the first one? No, nor did I expect it to be (I would’ve been truly amazed if it was); it had a whole lot to live up to, but it was still a worthy continuation, well-written and creative like the first. It did seem shorter, even though they were both around the same length! I’d actually be interested in another sequel portraying Riley as an adult; Nostalgia was told she can’t come out until later…6/18/2024

Bonus review:

Wreck (Season Two) OK

This is what I said at the end of my review for the first season---I read that there was a second season planned to be released this year, but I honestly don’t think I want to do another round (you can read the entire review in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2023/09/the-third-saturday-in-october-part-v.html). Well, after seeing it advertised so much I gave in (all 6 episodes are currently available on Hulu). I didn’t dislike the first season; I just thought it was too stretched out (as I may have implied in the review above). Instead of a boat, the setting is now on an island in Slovenia (filmed in Northern Ireland though, like the first one). I thought there was a better flow to it this time, and I didn’t feel like I forced myself to continue (all the episodes are roughly 50-minutes too). Maybe it’s the characters that make it engaging because we already know what’s been going on (since the conclusion of the first season) and we’re now just waiting to see what’s going to be done about it. The story obviously isn’t over based on the end of the last episode, and while there are no confirmations of a third season yet, I read that the writer intended it to be three parts from the outset. I’ll give it one more season. I know, I know, I say that now, and look at me continuing with this one after writing that I didn’t want to. It may not be the greatest series, but I can’t stop now that I made it this far, and because it’s unfinished. Let’s wrap this up, shall we? 6/17/2024

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Back Road >>>EH

Coming Home in the Dark >>>EH/OK

Cry Baby Lane >>>OK

Exhuma >>>EH

(In Korean with subtitles)

Gleaming the Cube >>>EH

Joko Anwar’s Nightmares and Daydreams (Season One) >>>OK

(Netflix; 7 episodes; In Indonesian with subtitles)

The Last Stop in Yuma County >>>OK/G

---Sean O.

6/22/2024