Sunday, October 30, 2022

High School/Wendell & Wild

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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High School (Season One)
Tegan and Sara, if you didn’t know, are a Canadian pop duo that are twin sisters, and also both lesbians.  I am a fan of some of their music; they gots some catchy tunes.  This Freevee series is based on a memoir of the same name by them, created by Clea DuVall, a lesbian actress from films such as The Faculty, Identity, and But I’m a Cheerleader (she wrote and directed some of the episodes here).  It’s a coming-of-age series following the twin sisters as they begin high school and navigate the typical teen waters as they learn who they are.  Each episode focuses on more than one character, not just them (friends, parents, etc. are also featured).  I generally enjoyed these 8 episodes that go by quickly (all under 30-minutes; more shows need to be that way), and I’m not sure if it’s partly because I’m aware of the people it’s based on, or the nostalgia it evoked since I too was a teenager in the Nineties (even though it took place in Canada, much of it felt familiar---a time before cell phones and excessive Internet usage).  The story obviously isn’t over and I actually hope it’s not over!  10/28/2022

Wendell & Wild                                                           OK/G
New stop-motion film available on Netflix directed by Henry Selick, the man behind other great stop-motion flicks like The Nightmare Before Christmas, James and the Giant Peach, and Coraline.  Key and Peele voice the titular demons from the underworld (Jordan Peele also produced and co-wrote the screenplay) that are brought to the land of the living after promising to do something for a girl names Kat.  Naturally things go awry for everyone at first.  Although it may be dark thematically, its tone is largely whimsical.  While I didn’t like it as much as the other Selick films mentioned, although it may be too soon to tell (I do feel this may age better), I enjoyed it enough.  Like the aforementioned films, it is very imaginative at times and stunning to look at.  [For those that care about representation, it seems like mostly everyone was featured, even an American Indian].  Perhaps I expected more from it the first time (I do feel it could’ve gone more places given the subject matter) and didn’t truly get to appreciate it yet.  I’ll definitely watch it again, eventually.  10/30/2022

Bonus review:

Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities
Anthology series available on Netflix wherein 2 episodes were released over 4 days (the first instance I’m aware of a show not all available the first day on the channel; you can binge them all now), all but two roughly an hour.  Guillermo del Toro just created it and introduces each of the 8 episodes (he only wrote 2 of them) directed by different filmmakers (they being Guillermo Navarro, Vincenzo Natali---Cube, Splice, In the Tall Grass, David Prior---The Empty Man, Ana Lily Amirpour---A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, Keith Thomas---The Vigil, Firestarter remake, Catherine Hardwicke---Thirteen, Twilight, Panos Cosmatos---Mandy, and Jennifer Kent---The Babadook).  It generally wasn’t a bad series, definitely not grand, each episode giving a feel for the characters and the environment they live in before ending up in horrifically bizarre, often Lovecraftian, territory (ironically only 2 segments are based on Lovecraft’s work).  The foreboding “Lot 36” involves a man winning the titular storage unit after a bid, said storage unit containing more than meets the eye.  “Graveyard Rats” is about a graverobber that comes across bigger problems (literally) than rats in the graves he robs; contains a Tales from the Crypt-like comeuppance.  “The Autopsy” ends up being very strange about a parasitic alien, but it is tied up rather cleverly.  “The Outside” is very strange, occurring around Christmas, and depicts a woman deemed unattractive developing a rather unorthodox relationship with this lotion promising to make her “attractive.”  Although truly outlandish, it was definitely compelling (I was reminded of The Tommyknockers at one time although it’s not like that film at all).  “Pickman’s Model” was a slow burn before culminating quite brutally.  “Dreams in the Witch House” was also part of the Masters of Horror series, directed by Stuart Gordon; I think I liked that version better, but this one, which was quite different with some similarities, was fine too.  “The Viewing” was probably my least favorite, being very slow about a group of people summoned to a gathering wherein the eventual introduction of an obelisk leads to deadly consequences (I wasn’t a fan of the creature effects either).  Lastly, “The Murmuring” is a gothic-lite ghost story with tons of atmosphere that finishes a bit too upbeat (and bland) as many ghost stories often tend to (“Rick” from The Walking Dead stars).  Most of these tales probably looked better on paper which is likely what made most of them intriguing on a script level.  The majority of creature designs, obviously CGI (boo!), weren’t terrible, but I was never the biggest fan of most otherworldly beings influenced by Lovecraft/Giger/etc.  I will tune in if another season is created, yes, since I love horror anthologies.  Well, at least I look forward to them…10/28/2022

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The Good Nurse  >>>EH
            (Netflix)

Pumpkins  >>>B/EH

Run Sweetheart Run  >>>EH/OK
            (Amazon Prime)

---Sean O.
10/30/2022

Wednesday, October 26, 2022

Spirit Halloween: The Movie

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Spirit Halloween:  The Movie                                     OK/G
As much as I love Halloween and any memorabilia associated with it, Spirit Halloween stores contain ridiculously overpriced items.  I’ve obtained neat spooky stuff at the dollar store and Wal-mart, and even scored some good items with coupons at CVS.  In this film, three middle school boys (eventually joined by one of their older sisters) agree to spend Halloween night in one of the stores after it closes.  A ghost (played by Christopher Lloyd) possesses items in the store while trying to possess one of the kids (you’ll learn why if you watch).  This was mostly a fun gateway horror flick (it’s rated PG-13 which I’m guessing is because some scenes may frighten the younger ones) that doesn’t overstay its welcome at barely 81-minutes (I actually wanted more).  The effects, mostly practical (points), were generally passable.  Perfect for the holiday season.  10/25/2022

Bonus reviews:

Terror Train                                                                EH
The original Terror Train was never one of my favorite slasher movies, and I wasn’t much a fan of this remake (available on Tubi) at all.  I recalled the original as I was watching this, therefore it’s likely more of a replica than a re-imagining.  Sure, there may be a few things altered, but I didn’t watch the original recently so I’m not exactly sure.  The story involves a group of college students having a costume party aboard a train wherein a masked killer begins offing them throughout the night.  There was a cool clown mask here, which I don’t remember in the original, but it wasn’t utilized the majority of the time.  Some of the kills were okay here, but this film was largely a bore.  Add this to the pile of unnecessary remakes (to a film I don’t deem a classic anyhow), or just unnecessary movies period.  10/21/2022

Sewer Gators                                                              EH/OK
(haiku review)
Laughably bad?  Sure.
What the hell do you expect?
Barely an hour.  10/25/2022

Maneater                                                                     EH
(haiku review)
Another shark flick?!
Another one not that great!
Bloody?  Sure.  Still sucked.  10/25/2022

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Bodies Bodies Bodies  >>>B/EH

The Ghost Lights  >>>EH

The Invitation (2022)  >>>EH

Mid-Century  >>>EH

Significant Other  >>>OK/G
            (Paramount+)

Torn Hearts  >>>OK/G

Trick or Treat Scooby-Doo!  >>>EH

Under Wraps 2  >>>OK

The Watcher (2022)  >>>EH/OK
            (Netflix; 7 episodes)

Where the Scary Things Are  >>>EH

---Sean O.
10/26/2022

Monday, October 17, 2022

Halloween Ends/Jeepers Creepers: Reborn

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Halloween Ends                                                          OK
[SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW]
This may be the “end” of David Gordon Green’s trilogy on the franchise (currently streaming on Peacock in addition to theaters), but I don’t think we’ll ever see the end of the fictional Michael Myers.  Like the majority of cinematic villains, he can seemingly never die no matter how someone tries to obliterate him.  Writers will always find a way to bring him back.  The way he’s destroyed in this film (I won’t reveal how) is absolutely impossible to return from, at least in physical form.  Anyway, I really thought this entry was going to be a different take than what we’re used to and what was expected, kind of like Halloween III:  Season of the Witch was to the original franchise, or like Friday the 13th Part V:  A New Beginning was (sort of) to that franchise, which I would’ve kind of been okay with considering there isn’t much to expect from these films anymore (let alone the subgenre), but it is a Halloween film wherein Michael Myers is largely absent.  I actually may have liked it better had the main killer here, affected by a life-ruining accident, been influenced (or “possessed”) by Michael and Michael not appearing at all (at least physically).  Part of me kind of wished that was how it would end up, but that likely would’ve been even more polarizing for the fans (a description already proposed by a critic).  I didn’t hate this film; there are good characterizations, as Stephen King said it was character driven, and, like I said, I liked how something different was attempted (I kind of credit it for sidestepping expectations), but it ultimately isn’t that great of a film on its own.  Horror fans and/or those that saw the preceding two entries---my review of Halloween is in here (https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/10/mooby-reviews-102818.html) and my review of Halloween Kills is here (https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2021/10/halloween-killsslumber-party-massacre.html)---are obviously going to watch this and it will likely be polarizing (as mentioned), but you never know how you feel until you check it out for yourself, no?  10/16/2022

Jeepers Creepers:  Reborn                                          B
Part 4 that’s labeled a reboot and allegedly the beginning of a new trilogy, according to the All Movie website.  I hope not based on this steaming pile of elephant excrement.  Yes, it stinks that bad!  As of this writing, it has a 0% rating out of 11 critics on Rotten Tomatoes and I wholeheartedly agree.  I liked Jeepers Creepers, eventually grew to appreciate Jeepers Creepers 2 on a trashy level (it’s a masterpiece next to this reboot), and don’t remember much about Jeepers Creepers 3, but apparently I gave it a decent review which you can read in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/01/mooby-reviews-1418.html.  After almost an exact replica of the beginning of Jeepers Creepers with Dee Wallace in Gina Philips’ role, the film just becomes an uninspired mess.  A couple attend a horror convention in Louisiana and end up going to a haunted house (after “winning” a raffle) with a group of others where the Creeper inevitably starts offing them one by one.  There’s also a subplot wherein the Creeper wants a pregnant woman’s baby, or something like that.  The locations were perfect---Louisiana, horror convention, cemetery, haunted house.  There was just no style to any of it and I didn’t even enjoy it on a so-bad-its-fun level.  Waste of time!  If they are making at least two more, they obviously don’t have much to live up to.  10/11/2022

Bonus review:

The Midnight Club (Season One)                                OK
I read the book of the same name by Christopher Pike not that long ago and knew it was more dramatic than scary.  You think I would’ve been prepared for the same thing here, but adaptations don’t always need to be faithful.  This is the fourth Netflix series created by Mike Flanagan and apparently he often merges drama with horror, emphasis on the drama, especially with The Haunting of Hill House (you can read my review for that in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/11/mooby-reviews-11718.html).  I liked his other two series, The Haunting of Bly Manor and Midnight Mass, better, but even they weren’t always focused on horror (my review for Bly is here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2020/10/the-haunting-of-bly-manor.html, Mass is here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2021/09/midnight-mass.html).  Now, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with mixing genres, but there is something wrong when the tones don’t always seem compatible, like it occurred here and in Hill House.  If you never read the book or know nothing about this series, a group of terminally ill teenagers stay at a hospice and gather in a room at midnight to tell stories.  It sometimes felt like there was an Are You Afraid of the Dark? vibe going on, but it never reached the potential I felt it truly could have.  Some of the stories told were fine (most of the horror variety, luckily all shown instead of told), myself only recalling some parts of the book as they occurred, and I liked the general camaraderie amongst the cast (it definitely made for a unique, albeit depressing, kind of teen entertainment), but there were only occasional moments of fright and the ending of the last episode exposed an entirely new subplot that likely won’t be too surprising if explained in another season (as cliffhangers often tend to provide false promises).  Plus, there are ten episodes all ranging roughly between 50 and 60-minutes with many of them actually feeling that long.  I guess you can say I had a love-hate relationship with this.  I just had higher expectations, that’s all.  10/16/2022

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

The Curse of Bridge Hollow  >>>OK
            (Netflix)

I Love You, You Hate Me  >>>OK/G
            (Peacock; 2 episodes)

---Sean O.
10/17/2022

Saturday, October 8, 2022

Beast/Dahmer/Hellraiser

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Beast                                                                           G
In case you didn’t see a preview, Idris Elba plays a man taking his two daughters (one teen, one younger) to Africa near the village their late mother was from.  They eventually go on a ride with a friend into an area that’s closed to the public (never a good sign) and come across a lion gone rogue that begins to pursue them.  The night before his entire pride was slaughtered by poachers, so do you really blame the lion for going rogue?  Unfortunately all humans in his territory become prey though.  I remember thinking the lion looked crappy in the preview, but it actually looked fine when I watched it.  This movie ended up being better than I thought it would be.  Sure, it may not seem too distinguishable from other films in the natural horror subgenre (Orca and 2007’s Prey came to mind the most---the latter another killer lion flick I recommend), and it started to feel a bit padded out towards the end (even at roughly 90 minutes), but for simply being exactly what it intended to be and nothing more, and for enjoying it enough, I’m going to recommend it.  Currently available on Peacock.  10/7/2022

Dahmer – Monster:  The Jeffrey Dahmer Story          OK/G
I heard several people say they stopped watching this Netflix series because it was too gruesome.  Well, if you know anything about Jeffrey Dahmer (played here by Evan Peters), he was a serial killer that often ate his victims.  For the younger crowd that may never knew of him before this, okay.  Some parts may be gruesome to the average viewer, yes, but it’s nothing I haven’t seen before and I had somewhat of an idea what I was getting into.  I’ve seen at least two movies that come to mind on the serial killer, one being My Friend Dahmer, which you can read my review for in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/03/mooby-reviews-31818.html.  As you’ll see in my review for that film (if you read it), I said this about visual media involving real-life serial killers---On one hand, you’re promoting them and basically telling modern serial killers they’ll too be made famous one day.  On the other hand, you can’t deny they’re part of history and do make for morbidly compelling sociological studies.  It is true, even though you never have to support anything you don’t want to.  History is rife with violence though, so one should argue whether anything horrific that happened in the past should be depicted.  I’ll admit this series did make me want to keep watching in the beginning.  It does lose a bit of steam towards the end, but there are ten episodes all roughly between 50 and 60 minutes, so it was bound to happen.  One thing I do like that they did was shine some light on one of the victims (the deaf kid) in an episode, which I think should occur more often in serial killer-related pictures as the killers are often glorified and the majority of victims rarely remembered; plus, that sort of makes it more disturbing knowing what happened to these people that are humanized.  They also showed how his actions affected others around him, like his one next door neighbor and his father.  Will real-life serial killers ever stop being promoted?  Likely not, but, again, you never have to promote anything you don’t want to.  Currently there is a new 3-episode documentary series also released on Netflix entitled Conversations with a Killer: The Jeffrey Dahmer Tapes.  Is this the year of Dahmer?  10/7/2022

Hellraiser                                                                    EH
I was never the biggest fan of the original.  I did watch it a couple times when I was younger, I’ll admit, and I did meet the original Pinhead, Doug Bradley, more than once (while expressionless, he’s a pretty chill dude).  I actually thought parts of it were, dare I say, gross (yes, I do get sickened by some gore).  There are ten films other than this one and I believe I’ve only seen up to part three (that’s how much I care about the franchise).  This Hulu update may contain some of the same concepts as the original, but it is a quite different film (Pinhead played by a woman has nothing to do with it either; the character here is pretty androgynous anyway).  It was worse though, as remakes/re-imaginings often are.  Even though it was 2-hours, it hardly felt like there was much substance to it (it seemed like it could’ve lead somewhere compelling in the beginning too).  It may not be as gory as the original, but it definitely has its moments (I wasn’t a fan of the gore here either; not so much on a repulsed level, more on an ‘I wasn’t impressed’ level).  I just wasn’t a fan.  Again, it was never one of my favorite franchises to begin with.  10/7/2022

Bonus reviews:

Mr. Harrigan’s Phone                                                OK
I did read the story from Stephen King’s 2020 collection, If It Bleeds, and according to my review of the book, I said it was “simple with an air of predictability.”  That’s pretty much how I would describe this adaptation available on Netflix (I didn’t remember much from the story before watching).  It’s largely a coming-of-age drama with a dash of thriller involving a boy given the task of reading books to the man of the title due to his diminishing eyesight.  He does this from a young age all the way through high school until the old man passes.  Before he died, the boy gifted him a cell phone and he appears to still receive messages from him posthumously, among other things.  It does contain that cozy ‘small town in New England’ vibe common for a Stephen King tale (here, it takes place in Maine, as they often do).  One of my dreams is to live in such a town; the harsh winters being the main reason preventing that dream.  Anyway, the narrative feels rushed at times, it doesn’t get as ominous as it could be, and it felt incomplete by the time it was over.  Ultimately, like my description of the story, it’s simple with an air of predictability.  Part of me did enjoy that cozy ‘small town in New England’ vibe though (perhaps why my rating may seem a tad too kind).  Not one of the best King adaptations.  10/6/2022

Phantom Pups (Season One)                                      OK
(haiku review)
Corny but cute-ish.
Fine for the entire fam.
Perfect season too.  10/6/2022

*Netflix; 10 episodes*

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Cosmic Dawn  >>>EH

No Exit (2022)  >>>OK
            (Hulu)

The Summoned  >>>OK

---Sean O.
10/8/2022

Sunday, October 2, 2022

My Best Friend's Exorcism/Hocus Pocus 2

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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My Best Friend’s Exorcism                                         EH/OK
I was interested in checking out the book written by Grady Hendrix, but never got around to it.  Judging by this adaptation, available on Amazon Prime, it probably looked better on paper.  It takes place in the Eighties---entertainment set during that decade is old hat by now, but it’s still fun to watch as that time period was very unique and put out some of the best films and music (I was born in 1982 so I wasn’t old enough to appreciate those years)---and contains elements of Mean Girls and The Exorcist.  The high school scenes generally never felt fresh, the exorcism in question felt poorly executed, and the special effects were subpar, especially the demon we see at the end (he kind of reminded me of Smeagol from The Lord of the Rings films).  All the elements for a good story are here, so maybe one day I will check out the book as long as this movie wasn’t an entirely faithful adaptation.  10/1/2022

Hocus Pocus 2                                                                        OK
I saw the first film in the theater back when it came out in 1993, and while I definitely don’t dislike it, I think it is highly overrated.  Don’t get me wrong, I do still watch it occasionally, partially for nostalgia, and for being one of those semi-fun family-friendly films containing horror elements.  I believe many can agree with me how annoying the witches are at times.  While I didn’t hate this sequel released 29 years later, currently available on Disney+, as much as I thought I would, it still very much felt like a sequel.  In other words, it’s obviously a cash grab for the many fans it seems to have and doesn’t seem to contain nearly as much substance as its predecessor did.  The musical numbers (very few thankfully), while corny, weren’t as cringe-worthy as they initially appeared to be (I guess), and some may say the ending is a bit poignant (I guess).  I haven’t heard too many fans of the first one complain yet, and those are who this sequel will truly be for anyway.  10/1/2022

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

The Amityville Moon  >>>EH/OK

Emergency (2022)  >>>EH/OK
            (Amazon)

13 Fanboy  >>>EH

---Sean O.
10/2/2022

Thursday, September 29, 2022

The Reef: Stalked/The Munsters

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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The Reef:  Stalked                                                       OK/G
The only connection this has to its predecessor, released in 2010, is that it was written and directed by Andrew Traucki (and that it comes from the “land down under”).  The Reef was a decent shark attack film, and this in-name only sequel was actually pretty decent too.  Shark movies (or even natural horror movies in general), much like zombie movies, are pretty much old hat by now.  In order for a successful one to work though, they need to be suspenseful without trying to be too predictable, should try to evoke a modicum of realism (I know entertainment should be entertaining above all, but realistic depictions are often more frightening), and the shark (or sharks) needs to look good (that factor above all).  In this film, four girls go kayaking nine months after a tragedy and must contend with a toothy predator during this excursion.  Real sharks were filmed and seemed to mesh fairly seamlessly with the action (I didn’t detect any CGI elsewhere, except for one obvious scene).  There is some suspense at times too.  Naturally there are scenes that drag, like the common interactions wherein characters get stuff off their chests and moments with inactivity, but a roughly 90-minute feature needs to be padded out somehow, I guess.  Generally not bad for a shark attack movie made recently, and for a sequel that really isn’t a sequel at all.  It was a better follow-up than the director’s other sequel, Black Water:  Abyss (you can read my review for that here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2020/08/black-water-abyss.html), to another one of his worthy natural horror flicks (Black Water).  9/26/2022

The Munsters                                                               EH
Confession---I’ve never seen a single episode of the TV series that originally aired for 2 seasons from 1964 to 1966.  I do admire Rob Zombie enough to have wanted to check out this new film he wrote and directed, which is an origin story (currently available on Netflix).  I will admit he’s gone downhill over the years, one person I used to know even labeling him a hack, but I liked him most from his White Zombie days and early solo days, plus his early films, to want to keep following him.  My favorite film of his is probably The Devil’s Rejects, and I also liked House of 1000 Corpses (pretty much his version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) and The Lords of Salem (aged better over time); his two Halloween films, although unnecessary, were entertaining trash (especially the second one).  I was disappointed with 31 and 3 From Hell pretty much ruined the end of The Devil’s Rejects, although I didn’t necessarily hate the film on its own (you can read my review for 31 here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2016/11/mooby-reviews-111416.html, and 3 From Hell here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2019/10/3-from-hell.html).  I can say this is his worst movie so far, but should I really lump it in with the rest of his oeuvre since it’s clearly not a horror flick?  It still counts as an entry though, so why not?  Even though I may not have seen a single episode of the series, I still viewed this as its own work of art (as should all individual films be viewed), and as if the show never existed.  I very much know the show was a comedy and I didn’t expect this film to be any different.  Frankly, I just didn’t have any fun with it.  The storyline follows many a rom-com plot (i.e. Daddy doesn’t approve of his daughter’s mate), the style being the only distinguishable element.  Mr. Zombie sure does have style, there’s no denying that, but style only goes so far, especially when there’s little to no substance (like here).  I’m unsure how I’d feel if I actually watched the show and/or was a fan.  Rob definitely needs a comeback, in both film and music (The Sinister Urge is the last album of his that stood out for me, and that wasn’t even as good as Hellbilly Deluxe).  9/27/2022

Bonus reviews:

Bloody Summer Camp                                                            OK
This slasher film released last year is 125-minutes!  That’s unusual for such a film.  At first I thought it may have been a typo, but it is indeed that long.  All in all though, despite having several flaws (the runtime being just one), it really isn’t that bad for a slasher movie made recently.  Sure, it may not be on the same level of fun as a Friday the 13th or Sleepaway Camp entry (Felissa Rose appears here too), but part of me kind of does recommend checking it out if you’re looking for a new slasher and/or camp film.  The setup is familiar (of course how many different plots can there be for these films?)---a group of counselors get a camp ready for the soon-to-arrive campers and gradually get offed by a masked murderer.  After a particular scene (early on too), it was so obvious who the killer was (seeing so many movies over the years doesn’t make it hard to figure these things out), but it stopped being fun trying to guess who the killer was after the Scream films in the Nineties.  As I’ve said in the past, true slasher fans watch these movies for the characters and kills.  We do get to know the majority of characters here (I would hope so given the runtime), and the kills generally may not be spectacular, but they aren’t awful either (some scenes may even repulse the more queasy viewers).  The killer’s mask was passable too.  To reiterate, aside from the unnecessary length and not always being of the highest quality (in budget and script), it’s really not too bad for a camp-set slasher movie released in 2021.  I’ve definitely seen much worse of its ilk.  9/25/2022

Reservation Dogs (Season 2)                                      OK/G
I knew not there was an indigenous community in Oklahoma, a state allegedly as red as they come (that’s not a pun either), until co-creator Sterlin Harjo educated me, beginning with this Hulu series.  Representation is one thing, but I did enjoy the first season enough to want to check out this one (there are 10 instead of 8 episodes this time, all roughly 30-minutes, give or take).  There isn’t too much Native visual media---hell, they don’t even make up 2% of the U.S. population; let that sink in; the original inhabitants of this country don’t even make up 2% of it---and often they include stereotypes (I’m not just talking about Dances with Wolves either).  This season isn’t without its stereotypes either, on both Natives and Caucasians.  Aside from White Steve, the white people are either racist, idiotic, or obsessed with ranch dressing.  There were times the Natives were getting a little too spiritual, something I felt was stereotypical.  Sure, some stereotypes for any group may still to apply to some, but I thought this show was a bit more progressive than that.  It mostly has been though, showing a group of teenagers we don’t often see depicted growing up in a poor community with not much opportunity.  Sometimes it does play around with stereotypes too (I’ll be thinking of “Free Fallin’” a bit differently from now on).  That’s what I like about author Sherman Alexie; he juxtaposes traditional stories with modern ones (I wonder what he thinks about this series).  I didn’t think the episodes featuring the elder women vacationing at the hotel that is like their “Cancun,” or where the police officer (played by Zahn McClarnon; I’m seeing him a lot these days) accidentally trips (even though it contained an interesting subplot involving a cult in the woods) were necessary.  Being this is called Reservation Dogs I’d like to only see episodes about the Reservation Dogs.  It was fine in season one when they each got an episode about themselves since it still involved them, and it would’ve been fine if other characters made appearances as long as they weren’t the focus of attention.  Actually, if any other characters deserve their own episode, let alone series, I think it should be the two little rappers, Mose and Mekko (they seem interesting).  The rest of the episodes involving the main characters, alone or together, were fine though.  A third season has already been commissioned and, yeah, I think I’ll tune back in.  I think representation in entertainment is great, especially when it’s actually good (Dark Winds, also featuring Zahn, released not that long ago wasn’t that great).  9/28/2022

Bring It On:  Cheer or Die                                          EH
(haiku review)
There’s seven of these.
Only saw this and the first.
This slasher one sucked.  9/27/2022

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Deep Water (2022)  >>>EH/OK
            (Hulu)

Gatlopp  >>>OK

Ivy + Bean  >>>OK
   (Netflix)

Ivy + Bean:  The Ghost That Had to Go  >>>EH/OK
            (Netflix)

Ivy + Bean:  Doomed to Dance  >>>EH/OK
            (Netflix)

Lou  >>>EH
   (Netflix)

Meet Cute  >>>EH/OK
   (Peacock)

---Sean O.
9/29/2022

Wednesday, September 21, 2022

Barbarian

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Barbarian                                                                    OK
I thought the preview looked good, and I really wanted to see it after so many horror fans/publications recommended it.  I really need to stop looking forward to movies based on other opinions and/or expectations.  This has 4 out of 5 stars on the All Movie site and currently a 92% rating on Rotten Tomatoes out of 131 critics.  Did they all see the same movie?  Have they seen enough movies?  This is a classic example of a movie that starts off really good and gets several notches worse once all is revealed.  I really fucking hate when that shit happens!  In it, a young woman travels to a house in a decrepit neighborhood (we don’t know that at first since she arrives at night while raining) to stay for an interview in the area.  When she arrives the key isn’t in the lockbox and we learn a young man (Bill Skarsgard) booked the same place.  That’s not suspicious, especially in a horror movie.  There is more to the story than that and we eventually (and expectedly) learn this house contains more than meets the eye within.  Like I said, this started off really good with a strong sense of dread, despite that shady beginning and characters doing stupid things you mentally criticize them for, but the last third ruined it for me.  I was hoping this was going to be a really good movie based on the first two-thirds, and based on what was said about it.  The reveals felt clichéd (as disturbing as some may have been) and somewhat laughable despite a serious tone.  It was predictable at times too (eye-rollingly so).  If anything, wait to watch this really cheap (or free), but don’t expect much (that way you might not be as disappointed as I was).  9/20/2022

Bonus review:

Elvis                                                                            EH/OK
According to Wikipedia, there are currently six biopics and six documentaries on “the King of Rock and Roll.”  This is the only one I’ve seen.  Sure, I know all about him through various other sources and have seen films that included him (I don’t think Forrest Gump and Bubba Ho-Tep count though).  I like an Elvis song here and there, but can’t quite say I’m a big fan.  I don’t dislike him.  Regardless of how you may feel about the man, one can’t deny his impact on modern history (I remember a professor in a radio class I took years ago mentioning Elvis made his type of music popular for white audiences, and this film certainly didn’t deny that fact).  My late grandmother had an entire room filled with his memorabilia.  People like her are who you should probably ask for their opinion on this film.  As for those that aren’t a fan or know not much about the guy, is this roughly 2 ½ hour film directed by Baz Luhrmann (Romeo + Juliet, Moulin Rouge!) worth it?  I think if no one knew who “the King” was beforehand they should be able to get somewhat of an idea of his life during his famous years, as this chronicles when he was discovered to his death at age 42 (with the occasional flashback scene).  I do think much of it felt rushed though, similar to a research paper/article only listing specific times without much detail, thereby not making it feel like a very intimate portrayal.  Austin Butler (Aliens in the Attic, various Disney and Nickelodeon properties, that crapfest Yoga Hosers, etc.) did fine as the singer though.  Since there are other adaptations and likely to be more, will there ever be a definitive version regardless of how the general consensus feels (which, needless to say, is always subjective)?  I may not have seen any other films on Mr. Presley (and, needless to say, each movie should be judged on its own as if no other version exists), but this latest one (overall) didn’t make me feel any different about him than I had before, nor make me develop more of an appreciation.  Like I said though, perhaps someone like my late grandmother would be a better person to ask.  R.I.P.  Grandmom!  9/19/2022

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Echoes   >>>EH/OK
   (Netflix; 7 episodes)

End of the Road  >>>OK
            (Netflix)

Fresh  >>>OK/G
   (Hulu)

Lantern’s Lane  >>>EH

No Chocolate, No Rice  >>>OK

Swim  >>>EH/OK
   (Tubi)

Vengeance (2022)  >>>EH/OK

Where the Crawdads Sing  >>>OK

---Sean O.
9/21/2022

Monday, September 12, 2022

Snapper/American Horror Stories (Season 2)

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Snapper:  The Man-Eating Turtle Movie That
            Never Got Made                                              OK/G
New documentary from the same guy that gave us the Pet Sematary doc (which you can read my review for here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2019/04/unearthed-untold-path-to-pet-sematary.html) basically about what the title says.  Snapper was a creature-feature filmed around the late 80’s/early 90’s that never got the proper funding.  What a shame too, because I can’t recall a single movie about a killer turtle.  Snapper turtles can be dangerous too, a clip involving a watermelon being proof here, and I recall a theory put out that a snapper may have been responsible for the children the West Memphis Three were blamed for.  The practical design looked really cool too!  Kudos to John Campopiano for keeping this just shy of 30 minutes to avoid overstaying its welcome.  That was the problem with his other recently-released doc, Pennywise:  The Story of It (both available on Screambox), since it was a little over 2 hours and mostly felt like a flat behind-the-scenes featurette (it’s a shame too since I’m a big fan of the original IT).  On the other hand, I would’ve liked to have seen a bit more in this feature, namely more footage from the unreleased film (which could definitely benefit from a better budget).  That being said, I hope enough people see this to enable distributors/financers out there to finally fund this picture!  Please though, for the love of all that is good cinema, keep the effects practical, if not the same exact ones!  9/6/2022

American Horror Stories (Season 2)
You can check out my review for the previous season of this anthology spinoff series available on FX and Hulu here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2021/08/the-conjuring-3american-horror-stories.html.  This season contains 8 episodes all minimally 40-minutes but under 50.  I can’t exactly say any of these episodes were great, but my favorite was probably the first one, “Dollhouse,” involving kidnapped women tested for a specific purpose; it ends up being a prequel to a certain AHS season.  “Aura” is about a security system that allows dead people to communicate with the living, and really just ends up being a fairly run-of-the-mill ghost story.  Twists have been used time and time again wherein they aren’t too much of a shock anymore, even if I may not predict them beforehand (trust me, there isn’t much I haven’t seen given all that I’ve watched and read).  Needless to say, I need to be entertained before the twist since it’s so easy to tack one on to a rather dull story thinking it will instantly make it better (and enable repeat viewings).  That was the problem with episodes “Drive” and “Bloody Mary,” the former involving a married woman in an open relationship believing one of her flings is out to get her, the latter involving the titular urban legend and wishes that come with a price.  “Milkmaids” was a decent 18th-century tale involving curses, cannibalism, and paranoia stemming from speculations, but ends up overstaying its welcome a bit by having one thing after another occurring; some parts were actually icky too.  “Facelift” which, at first, reminded me a bit of Death Becomes Her and The Eye involves an older woman yearning to look younger; eventually we learn her plastic surgeon has a sinister plan for her; decent when all is said and done, even if it felt overly familiar.  “Necro” contains a rather twisted romance between (yes) two living people and was probably one of the better ones, while the final episode, “Lake,” has all the fix-ins for a standard revenge-beyond-the-grave tale---family history involving murder, truth coming to light, evil character getting what they deserve; I did like the scene at the end when certain beings came out of the water.  All in all, not a great collection, middling if that (at least half of them decent, the others not completely terrible), but anthology shows often have a possibility of being hit or miss regardless of budget and talent.  And how original can you truly be anymore?  9/11/2022

Bonus review:

Pinocchio                                                                    OK
Live-action remake just released on Disney+.  Well, mostly live-action with a few CGI elements.  This story about the eponymous wooden puppet yearning to become a real boy has been adapted countless times, another version helmed by Guillermo del Toro arriving on Netflix later this year (which I’m actually looking forward to), so this is nothing new.  Now, the original animated film was never one of my favorite Disney movies; in fact, it’s probably one of my least favorites, at least released before the millennium.  Now, I don’t dislike it and probably liked it enough to own a copy (or that could just be my OCD in wanting to own the majority of Disney movies).  This Robert Zemeckis-helmed version happens exactly how you know it will.  Granted, I didn’t hate it like I really thought I would beforehand; I watched out of curiosity, like always.  There are some wondrous scenes to behold---i.e. the clocks in Geppetto’s workshop (played by Tom Hanks here), the puppet show, and Pleasure Island---but I don’t think the world would grieve if this adaptation never existed.  Plus, the donkey transformation scene wasn’t quite as disturbing as that of the original animated one.  9/8/2022

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

The Andy Baker Tape  >>>EH/OK

Beans  >>>G

The Bear (Season One)  >>>OK/G
            (Hulu; 8 episodes)

Devil in Ohio (Season One)  >>>EH/OK
            (Netflix; 8 episodes)

Hatching  >>>EH
   (In Finnish with subtitles)

Infrared  >>>EH

Pennywise:  The Story of IT  >>>EH/OK
            (Screambox)

Requiem for a Scream  >>>EH
            (Tubi)

The Resort (Season One)  >>>EH
   (Peacock; 8 episodes)

Stoker Hills  >>>EH

We Need to Do Something  >>>OK

Wyrmwood:  Apocalypse  >>>EH

---Sean O.
9/12/2022

Tuesday, August 23, 2022

Nope/Orphan: First Kill

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Nope                                                                            OK
Jordan Peele’s third film.  Was it his best?  Nope!  It might be my least favorite of his so far, but I didn’t dislike it.  I did like Get Out even though I didn’t quite read it right the first time, and watching it a second time with more knowledge didn’t alter my opinion (you can read my review for it in here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2017/03/mooby-reviews-3112017.html). I kind of liked Us too, but I’m still a bit baffled with some of its logic even after two viewings (you can read my review for it here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2019/03/us.html). Surely you must have heard by now that this feature involves aliens, or something otherworldly.  Someone posited that the title might be an acronym for Not of Planet Earth.  That’s a possibility, but the title is just a word uttered by more than one character during the film.  There are definitely interesting aspects to this, and, even though it’s a bit over 2 hours, it didn’t seem like it despite containing uneventful moments.  I didn’t quite understand some it completely by the time it was over, and it happens, so I’ll admit I looked up spoilers to try and have everything answered (I have a real problem with not having all my questions answered, unless I can postulate my own conclusions).  I did have the majority of my questions answered after researching and my overall opinion didn’t really change; reading up on it made me realize how truly straightforward it is (which isn’t necessarily a complaint).  Like I said, I didn’t dislike it and might like it better the next time, Jordan Peele definitely being a filmmaker to keep an eye on (he knows his horror), but I just wasn’t entirely impressed.  Nope, nope, nope!  8/20/2022

Orphan:  First Kill                                                      EH/OK
Orphan is one of those movies wherein the twist made it better.  [You’ve had 13 years to see it; plus, I don’t know why you would have an interest in this prequel (currently in theaters as well as on Paramount+), or reading this review, if you haven’t seen it].  It began like a typical evil kid flick and the twist made it much darker and twisted, especially when you watch it again with more knowledge.  I wasn’t sure how a prequel would be since we already know Esther’s secret (the “orphan” in question), and being a prequel with First Kill as part of the title, you know she’s going to make it out alive and the family here is going to perish by the end.  It’s basically prolonging the inevitable from the beginning, no?  And, if I recall, I believe they revealed what happened to her previous “family” in Orphan.  Anyway, this began very formulaic, but I’ll admit that a twist midway did take me by surprise and momentarily made me more interested (emphasis on the momentarily).  Whereas the previous film’s twist made it a better movie, it wasn’t quite the same case here.  It has its moments, very limited, but it was often predictable and uninspired, making it an unnecessary prequel.  8/22/2022

Other movies I've seen and their ratings (see above):

Arctic Void  >>>EH/OK

The Cottage (2022)  >>>B

Fall (2022)  >>>OK/G

Living Dolls  >>>EH

South Park:  The 25th Anniversary Concert  >>>G

Still of the Night  >>>OK

---Sean O.
8/23/2022

Monday, August 15, 2022

Men/Lightyear

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In case you haven’t seen the intro from my entry dated 1/26/19 (it’s in my archives whenever you want to read it), I’m no longer going to review every single movie I see.  I’m going to review one, with the occasional bonus, and just give ratings for the rest from now on (unless I decide to pick it up again in the future).  You can always ask me why I gave the ratings for the films without reviews though (via comments or the e-mail addresses under the ‘About Me’ section).
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Men                                                                             OK/G
After an incident involving her soon-to-be ex-husband in London, a woman travels to the English countryside.  Eventually, things get weird and truly bizarre by the end, often making me think I was watching a David Lynch movie (Alex Garland directed it, who also directed Annihilation, which I was a big fan of, and wrote 28 Days Later and Never Let Me Go; check out my review for Annihilation here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2018/03/mooby-reviews-3818.html).  I’ll admit I did look up explanations afterwards, even watching a making-of featurette, and one was very close to my interpretation (the director even alluded there may be different conclusions in that featurette).  There is nothing quite like this movie out there, at least in execution, and, for that, it deserves some recognition.  Of course unique doesn’t necessarily mean acceptable, but I found much of this to be oddly transfixing (hence the David Lynch reference).  It obviously won’t be for everyone and will likely instigate discussions, polarizing or otherwise, but try and keep them civil (like always) as this is only a movie and people are different (needless to say).  8/10/2022

Lightyear                                                                     EH
This is essentially a movie-within-a-movie, this movie being part of the Toy Story universe, as we’re informed in the beginning that this is the movie that made Andy want a Buzz Lightyear toy in 1995.  Did we need a standalone Buzz movie?  Judging by this film (currently available on Disney+), absolutely not!  I thought Toy Story 4 was unnecessary (my review is here---https://vampireclown82.blogspot.com/2019/06/childs-playtoy-story-4.html). What’s next?  A Woody standalone movie?  I’m not a fan of westerns, so I don’t know if I like that idea (perhaps a TV series depicting all the major toy origins might work instead of feature films?).  I’m not a fan of space movies either, but this was just a big dumb action movie that, quite frankly, bored me and I couldn’t wait for it to be over about halfway through (it’s over 100-minutes).  I did like the cat (Sox) though, and think it deserves its own movie.  If the target audience is the younger set, I believe much of this will go over their heads.  As for the adults that will watch it with them and/or are fans of the series, they might be bored like I was.  What do I know though?  What do I ever know?  I know film criticism is entirely subjective, but, once again, Rotten Tomatoes disagrees with me, there being (as of this writing) 75% positive reviews out of 303 critics (well, at least 25% of them agree with me).  For a better animated movie featuring a giant robot, watch The Iron Giant (which recently had its anniversary).  8/8/2022

Other movies and TV show(s) I’ve seen and their ratings (see above):

Are You Afraid of the Dark?:  Ghost Island  >>>EH
            (Nick; 4 episodes)

Escape the Field  >>>EH/OK

Framed!  A Sicilian Murder Mystery  >>>OK
   (Netflix; 6 episodes; In Italian with subtitles)

Gone in the Night  >>>OK

---Sean O.
8/15/2022